I hate watching television now because it seems like the shows are made to make me look like a pathetic failure. Many of the shows on now are a return to the twenties style of literature. People seem to be amazed by the rich. But I believe many of the sows today have reached a new low, which would even offend Fitzgerald. I say this after watching MTV Cribs. Seriously the rich spend their money on the dumbest crap now. No one would ever need ten cars. And everyone knows eventually their lifestyle will end once everyone hates them and their music sucks. So why spend loads of money on stupid crap, if I was in their position I'd have a sweet house.

First of all, I'd make mine like an adventure. If I got hungry I'd have to go through a wonderous journey......WITH NINJAS!!

On my way to the kitchen I would be attacked by five shinobi. Of course with my skills I would take them out easily. After that a giant ball would start rolling behind me. As I ran for my life the floor under me would collapse and I would drop down into an arena with "the rock" standing across from me. He'd lift up a giant ax and swing down on me.

"Watch out you freak....I'm paying you to DIE!!" I would shout and then jump behind him and stab him in the head.

After that I would battle hundreds of monsters for hours until I got one little item which allows me to teleport. I suppose I could have just gone up to the person with the item and killed him then taken it for myself.....but would Puff Daddy put that in his house? I think not.

So finally I get to the fridge and begin to open it to get my snack. "NO STOP!" a little pixie says but it is too late. A demon of death jumps out and slices off my left arm. Just as it's coming back I grab a fork I left on the table, since I never learned to clean up after myself, and stab in in the head. After that I get several small objects to combine together to make me a new arm. Soon my powers start to go out of control and I begin to expand and lose all control over my body. I'm about the destroy the entire world when a little boy steps forth. I then hear everyone shouting "AKIRA!" and before I know it everything is back to normal and I have a snack in my hand.

TAKE THAT P. DIDDY, LETS SEE YOUR HOUSE DO THAT!!!