So.... just a warning (as you can probably tell from the title) I am in a bad mood right now.

K so summary of the last week or so: I am in first year university and basicly next year I wanted to become a frosh leader. Theres 3 parts to it: a written application, a group skit/cheer and an individual interview. So basicly I spent hours last week mking my written application really really creative and cool, I stayed up to 3 in the morning one night writting a frosh week poem. Then our group skit was really really really good. And the exec really liked it (or so I thought) and the interview was hard, but I thought I did OK. 55 people tried out and 40 made it. Thatspretty good odds right? So yeah today we were going to be called to find out. and guess what???

I didn't make it.

I can't believe that my writeup, skit/cheer and interview wan't good enough. They probably weren't the best but they were definately in the better half. So basicly I think the people were unfairly picked. people who are more involved in student government made it even though I think they might not have deserved it. Boys made it almost for sure because our girl-guy ratio is very small, and I actually think some of the people picked were picked because they add "multiculturalism". People rarely call discrimination against white people but I honestly think thats what this is. My asian friend made it and I think I deserved it just as much as her and my inidan friend also and I definately think I deserved it more than her. I dont think its fair that they'd pick people based on their race. I mean, I dont know for sure if I'm true but my skit and my application was AMAZING and I am just really P***ed off right now. why even bother making me embarass myself, spend time, and put so much effort into my thing if they won't even use that to consider who got picked. honestly, I had a huge math test I couldnt have spent so much more time studying for if it hadnt been for all the time I spent on this audtion. I am actually soooooo mad.

I never audition for things. ever. In grade 3 I auditioned for a childrens choir and the lady told me to come back when my voice had developed. That experience scarred me. Ever since then I dont sing withour a group of people and Im really self-concious about my voice and also I hate trying out for thing (i developed a fear of rejection). But this time I really wanted this. SOOOOO badly. honestly, frosh week was the best experience of my life and I really just wanted to experience it from the other point of view. And I know I'd make a good frosh leader... I'd actually be amazing. I'm so supportive and enthusiatic andjust a fun person.

But no.

Now I get to watch my friends as they have fun. They are now part of an exclusive group of people. Something I dont belong to.

Ef the exec. Ef everything. Ef life.