So, the internet is a very private thing, all things considered. I can type away about my innermost (gaming) thoughts, and yet you don't know my name, my skin colour, or my age. Well Gamespot Cronies (sorry Nate, couldn't resist), today's the day you learn one of these facts.

In 2 weeks, I'll be 29 years old.

I know I'm older than a lot of you. I know it because of the way people around here talk about gaming. I see a lot of people who grew up with an N64, claiming Ocarina of Time is the ultimate Zelda game (when, come on, A Link to the Past? No? Well, I think so.) I see kids on here who actually question Mario's supremacy. Let me get the facts straight here. Mario defeated Sonic. Just to illustrate with a modern example.. Mario was Master Chief, and Sonic was Nathan Drake. Now, Master Chief is still making groundbreaking, quality games, and Nathan Drake has 500 sassy and forgetable woodland chums and takes them all to the Olympics with Master Chief. ... Hold on, wait.

I digress.

The point is, I'm old. The first gaming console I tried was a Coleco Vision. I played Dig Dug. The first one I owned was an Atari 2600, and I failed at Missile Command, Asteroids and Pac-Man Jr because the stupid thing has a crappy joystick controller which sucked. Anyone else here in their late 20s or 30s who can back me up? The controller was garbage.

Gaming in the Coleco/Atari days was basically a home arcade. It seemed like the games that were successful at home were the ones that hit it big in the arcades first. At least those were the ones that I owned. Even the NES had some of that. Mario Bros, Donkey Kong, Galaga, all arcade ports to the NES. So sometimes I find it funny how hard some people fight against casual games. Granted, I'm not actively persuing casual titles, but I don't avoid them either. I own Wii Fit, Big Brain Academy, Geometry Wars Galaxies, Electroplankton, and I think they're all great for what they are. (More on why Wii Fit is great in a later blog. Don't ask me now, I'm saving it.) I guess it's a healthy amount of variety that keeps gaming fresh.

Multiplayer is the buzz these days. And people act like it's something new. I just mentionned Mario Bros. That was a 2 player game and it was damned fun. You know how in New Super Mario Bros Wii you can pick up your buddy and chuck him into a pit? Well in Mario Bros, my brother used to stand on the platform below me and punch the spot I stood on, sending me right into a fireball. He also used to squish me using ROB's controller in Gyromite. And when he got a red shell in Mario Kart, he'd wait until I was the one in front of him before he fired. He also picked on me when we played multiplayer Mystical Ninja.

My brother's a jerk.

Multiplayer is always a fun option for games, it's just not new. Online multiplayer, now that's new. And at the best of times, it's akin
to playing a game with someone while on the phone with them. At the worst of times, you have to pick up the phone to find out what happened. I don't like talking on the phone, have I mentioned? I like local multiplayer, and I like for games to stay offline. I ranted about this in a comments section recently, so I won't get into it again, but the short version is, online-rich games have a short shelf life. They're worthless when all the gamers stop playing that game.

Which. Is. Why.... I hate game reviewers who push for online functionality in everything. Okay, check-a this. Ugh! Gamespot review breakdown! I'mma monkey!

Bit.Trip Core

"Despite these improvements, though, Core still falls prey to some of the problems that plagued its forerunner: it's still an all-too-brief experience, but more importantly, there still aren't any online leaderboards."

I don't see the point in online leaderboards. Is it a great game? Yes or no. Don't judge a game just because you can't write "ASS" when you win so the whole world can see. (Hehehe!) and..

Pangya PSP

"This colorful golf game offers so much great single-player content that it'll be weeks before you notice the lack of any online functionality."

If the single player mode is so great, who cares?! It's a great game, give it a great score. It's sort of like.. okay, imagine if game reviewers were food critics. And the trend of the day was this: Caramel is delicious. Which it is. So very delicious. But then someone's all like "The New York Sirloin was exquisite, however since it didn't come drenched in caramel, I'll have to deduct points from my eating experience."

Steak is delicious. Caramel is delicious. But if the final product is superior with these two things seperate, then stop being a caramel junkie and just enjoy the steak.

I'm hungry.

So Phoenix Wright for the Wii. Very cool, right? I should have waited to post, because the Sequel Gods weren't through granting good cheer upon the niche gaming masses.

First, yesterday, Bully 2! Remember when I.. oh who am I kidding? Nobody would remember this. I mention Bully 2 in that blog. That was back in May. I was itching for a sequel to Bully, and Rockstar (Rockstar? Let me check. Yep, Rockstar) came through!

But most importantly.. Far more important than Bully or perhaps even Phoenix Wright, is this little announcement that came down the pipe today.

That's Hotel Dusk 2! Hotel freaking Dusk 2! And it's coming out (in Japan) in like 2 months!

If Nintendo of America doesn't bring this to western shores, they're going to have serious problems from me. This isn't like Trace Memory 2 or Fatal Frame IV. Hotel Dusk is a very big deal.

Ahem. Anyway.

Thank you Sequel Gods. Your generosity has not gone unnoticed in the usually apathetic gaming community. At least not by this gamer.

"Pleased to meet you, I just moved in. My name is Gerry Ford."
"Oh! Former president Gerald Ford?? Put 'er there. I'm Wonkyman."
"Say Wonk, do you like Phoenix Wright?"
"Do I ever!"
"Do you like the Wii?"
"Yes, Mr. Ford."
"Well, why don't you come over, and we'll play Pheonix Wright on the Wii. And then have some beer."
"Oooh!"

Germany had better not be yanking my chain!