Oh. Oh my god my poor baby. My Sammy. This was a solid episode; again, a little formulaic. I don't like the "Dean going nuts - Sam calls him on it - Dean backs down" mini-arc anymore; it happens too often, but oh jeez, this one hurt. Dean actually locking Sam in the other room? And then just looking like a soldier of righteousness or something. God, it killed me. The fear on Duane's face. The recreating of the vision exactly was really well done. And I liked Sarge. I liked the little nod to John, to his company and everything. I wonder if someone could track down the records of that company, just for curiosity's sake. I know it was Echo company, but what division?
The few comic moments were also still great. "That's Schoolhouse Rock!" XD and Dean's smartass tendencies are still funny, for whatever reasons they're there. They might be there to deflect the reality of what a life they lead, but still. "You're a handsome devil, but I don't swing that way." AHAHAH. And how cool was the car spin. You can bet Dean in any other situation would have spent a few minutes cossetting the car. XD Apologising and everything. Um, what else. The Mexican standoff with Sarge was actually pretty amusing. Covering each other in the car.
And toward the end of the ep ... I would just have to go on for pages about how both boys broke me last night. Seriously. I don't know why I empathize so much with these characters, but I do. Especially Sam. I don't like it when they hurt. XD If that makes me a big nerd then so be it - I can't turn off the impulse.
The whole scene in the clinic ... oh, god. Sammy can be such a martyr and I think Dean hates that even at the best of times; yet here, I think we saw 1. just how deep their bond is and 2. just how tired Dean really is. This made five episodes of Supernatural I've cried at this season LOL; the look on Jared's face was heartbreaking. All that stuff about "give me my gun". But this scene wasn't even about Sam, really - honestly, a poster on the TV.com forums made a good point and said that Dean looks almost suicidal. Whatever the secret is must be horrible, and oh, I'm so afraid XD - but Dean isn't supposed to be alive. He has to live with the knowledge that his father sacrificed himself - and his greatest obsession, the hunt - just so Dean could live. In Dean's eyes, I'd imagine that seems like a betrayal. And then at that point he thinks Sam is going to die? He'd have nothing left. He lives for his family, and if everyone was dead but him? I think that in that scene we were moments away from hearing the secret - why not tell Sammy if Sam's going to go insane and Dean will have to kill him? He'd feel like he owed him that much. (Shades of Asylum, anyone?)
Just oh. This show is amazing and heartbreaking, and I'm terrified that the secret will be that Sam isn't really Dean's brother. If that happens, I may very well stop watching, because it wouldn't ever be the same. You know? Even if they say "Well, brothers are who you fight with and share toys with" and all that. It isn't the same. (To say nothing of how it would give some of the more rabid Wincesters fodder LOL - "THEY'RE NOT REALLY BROTHERS ZOMG IT WAS MEANT TO BE!") I'm not sure how well I'd take that. You knew the cliffhanger was coming, but still. Sam looked so afraid.
