I don't say this often. But OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO WORTH THE WAIT. I was terrified as you know, and I got scareder as the ep went on. XD But this one ... well, this one was a great reaffirmation of why I tune into the show in the first place. I was so afraid the secret would be that Sam isn't really Dean's brother that I neglected to imagine how the eppy would go if they went the other route.

Everyone was on great form this eppy, even though it was a really Sam-centric episode. It was as if they felt the need to make up for all the Dean in the first bit of the season (though in retrospect I definitely didn't mind all the Dean!). The structure was a little bit choppy, with the vision sandwiched in the middle of real action, but eh, as long as I figured out what was up (which I didn't at first - I screamed when the explosion happened in the first five minutes. LOL) then I guess it's ok.

First and foremost, of course, oh my god. The secret really wasn't the secret after all - we didn't find out the crux of the problem til Sam and Ava found the tape. Though of course, the fact that Dean might have to kill him? GAH. Still. I just wanna state? In a story she wrote a few months ago, basically called it. I give Sarah credit, here and now. XD Soldiers for a war? Oh, my baby. I foresee one hell of an angsty plot line, of course, but overall I think Kripke & Co. played this one exactly right - Dean won't ever give up on Sammy. I doubt even if he saw Sam murder someone in cold blood with his own eyes that Dean would join someone like Gordon. And GORDON, YOU SON OF A. RRR. XD I didn't really cry at this episode, but boy, did I scream. I've had the cold from hell, and judging by the screams I gave off (the first explosion, the second explosion, the look on Dean's face, you name it).

Kripke again showed us the magic touch, though - I think the point of having Dean and Gordon like that (because really, it could have been done other ways) was to articulate all Dean's fears aloud. To really bash the viewer over the head with them, because then no one could say they weren't in the open. And God knows it'd be out of character for Dean to tell anyone all that himself. But seriously. Every possible weakness. The thing about little Hitler kind of made me furrow my brow, but I got the point. And how dare he bring up John. I'm honestly not certain what John would have done in that situation. I do know that he wouldn't have done what Gordon had done, though. That's the whole thing of what Dean was saying. It's familial, dammit. Gordon doesn't understand. Especially not since apparently Gordon's family all died when he was young.

The entire point of this show is the brother dynamic between Dean and Sam, and this episode showed that better than SPN has shown in months. They also showed that without each other, Sam and Dean are both just pieces of a whole. Dean seemed so much less sure of himself when Sam wasn't around. And Sammy, well. I somehow think he might have realised staying away from the window was a good idea if it had been Dean there instead of Ava. The little touches - the moment where Sam untied Dean, and they just instinctively checked each other over, up and down. I squealed at those moments. Shows how unfounded my fear was - I was scared they were going to ruin the show, when they rebounded with an eppy that makes it, in my opinion, stronger than ever.

What else. Hm. "They say you can't protect your loved ones forever. Well, I say screw that." I like Ellen more than I did. And yet. "Roadhouse connexions" ... what did Gordon mean? I didn't like that insinuation. Maybe it was just a bad line, but as it's written, that smells. I was glad Dean thought so too. The protectiveness made me squee, but really, it's a good point. How did Gordon find Sam? And on another note, was anyone else amused by how they wrote Jo out? *SMIRK*

Also Not minding this Ava chick too much. She seems a lot more real than Jo ever did. The average person would be scared witless or do exactly what she did when Sam so casually talks about psychics and death visions and stuff - call them loco nuts. XD The thing about squeeing over stealing the files made me laugh - again, very real. A rush for the average person. And she was just ... I don't know. She and Jared had good chemistry. Not great, but good. Enough to make me want to see more. And you'd think that if this is a love interest for Sam, I'd hate her more than I hated Jo. ;-) LOL But no, I'm interested. Especially with the end of the eppy - was she kidnapped? Killed? Or was she possessed? I guess we'll find out. I hope we'll find out.

Yet there was funny in this ep. Bless them for that. The whole Funkytown thing. I love their code words. I squeed. So cute. The writers are great with just the little touches of funny when we need them most. Like, when Dean pulled into the parking lot of the motel, my first reaction was to tense. Given that, y'know, I figured Dean would metaphorically kill him. XD But seeing Sammy with Ava, Dean smirks and goes "Better than okay, Sammy, you sly dog." HEHE.

Just ... yeah. Amazing. MORE LIKE THIS, PLS.

.... do we really have a third season, or are fans just getting my hopes up?    

Oh. Oh my god my poor baby. My Sammy. This was a solid episode; again, a little formulaic. I don't like the "Dean going nuts - Sam calls him on it - Dean backs down" mini-arc anymore; it happens too often, but oh jeez, this one hurt. Dean actually locking Sam in the other room? And then just looking like a soldier of righteousness or something. God, it killed me. The fear on Duane's face. The recreating of the vision exactly was really well done. And I liked Sarge. I liked the little nod to John, to his company and everything. I wonder if someone could track down the records of that company, just for curiosity's sake. I know it was Echo company, but what division?

The few comic moments were also still great. "That's Schoolhouse Rock!" XD and Dean's smartass tendencies are still funny, for whatever reasons they're there. They might be there to deflect the reality of what a life they lead, but still. "You're a handsome devil, but I don't swing that way." AHAHAH. And how cool was the car spin. You can bet Dean in any other situation would have spent a few minutes cossetting the car. XD Apologising and everything. Um, what else. The Mexican standoff with Sarge was actually pretty amusing. Covering each other in the car.

And toward the end of the ep ... I would just have to go on for pages about how both boys broke me last night. Seriously. I don't know why I empathize so much with these characters, but I do. Especially Sam. I don't like it when they hurt. XD If that makes me a big nerd then so be it - I can't turn off the impulse.

The whole scene in the clinic ... oh, god. Sammy can be such a martyr and I think Dean hates that even at the best of times; yet here, I think we saw 1. just how deep their bond is and 2. just how tired Dean really is. This made five episodes of Supernatural I've cried at this season LOL; the look on Jared's face was heartbreaking. All that stuff about "give me my gun". But this scene wasn't even about Sam, really - honestly, a poster on the TV.com forums made a good point and said that Dean looks almost suicidal. Whatever the secret is must be horrible, and oh, I'm so afraid XD - but Dean isn't supposed to be alive. He has to live with the knowledge that his father sacrificed himself - and his greatest obsession, the hunt - just so Dean could live. In Dean's eyes, I'd imagine that seems like a betrayal. And then at that point he thinks Sam is going to die? He'd have nothing left. He lives for his family, and if everyone was dead but him? I think that in that scene we were moments away from hearing the secret - why not tell Sammy if Sam's going to go insane and Dean will have to kill him? He'd feel like he owed him that much. (Shades of Asylum, anyone?)

Just oh. This show is amazing and heartbreaking, and I'm terrified that the secret will be that Sam isn't really Dean's brother. If that happens, I may very well stop watching, because it wouldn't ever be the same. You know? Even if they say "Well, brothers are who you fight with and share toys with" and all that. It isn't the same. (To say nothing of how it would give some of the more rabid Wincesters fodder LOL - "THEY'RE NOT REALLY BROTHERS ZOMG IT WAS MEANT TO BE!") I'm not sure how well I'd take that. You knew the cliffhanger was coming, but still. Sam looked so afraid.