Funny stuff I have to get off my chest. Let's start off with some Chuck Norris jokes, shall we?? You probably already know most of these, but what the hec...

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer - too bad he never cries.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris' doesn't go hunting because the word hunting incurs the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris won a staring contest with the sun.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

OK, done with Chuck Norris. Let's move on, shall we?

This is a TRUE FACT - A clogged toilet is refered to as a "code four" among the "engineering" staff at the Sunspree Resort in Panama City, Florida.

I have a dream!! A dream of a world where chickens can cross the street without their motives being questioned!!! - unknown

Whoever said nothing's impossible clearly never tried slamming a revolving door.

Has anyone ever noticed that the word studying is "student" and "dying" put together?

Jim- Well, I guess I can't complain, you always keep me smiling and satisfied in the morning.

Michael - see pic below

HA!! There you go. Hope you got a good laugh!!