Well, it's been a fun and occasionally dramatic three years, but it looks like I'm finally going to have to log off for good soon. I simply don't have the free time I used to, and to be honest, System Wars is absolutely dull now. It's been dull for a while, but not to this level of complete and utter boredom. There are many theories as to why the board has become so lifeless, and a lot of finger pointing in many different directions. I think it's just a lack of personality. SW is like a TV series that killed off all its likeable characters and ended all the compelling storylines.

I was thinking about writing a controversial resignation speech in a System Wars Monthly article, just to spice it up a bit (and I thought it would be fitting to go out with some drama), but it's not like this is really news. I could hardly be considered an SW regular anymore; I haven't even been following the board enough to write the Monthly Weather Report. I figure I'll help finish up the Iron 'Shop project, write one more SWM article, help the guys at NDU find someone else to manage the RISK thread, and then I'm out. And maybe, if I feel like it, I'll write a controversial resignation speech, for old times' sake.

While cleaning out my room a couple days ago, I found that old CD from Nintendo Power that featured live orchestrated music from SSB Melee. It's some great stuff, and it made me wonder what else could be found in the depths of this ancient ruin known as my room. So I continued my expedition, and I found a bunch of games, including Fable, a game I've never had any interest in and I don't believe I've ever played. So how did it get there? The world may never know.

So what have we learned from this adventure? Aside from the fact that I live in complete filth, I've learned that...

...

...

....

.....Actually, that's really all I've learned.

This is Ike.

This is not Ike.

Ike is a powerful mofo in the right hands. Ike is a spammy, predictable mofo in the wrong hands.

OMG BORKEN

I have heard complaints from many players about Ike's ungodly godness. However, most of them seem to be having trouble with the latter, far-less-godly spammy Ikes. In this blog I am going to educate my fellow Brawlers about Ike. I will give tips to the struggling players on how to beat Ike, and I will offer to the spammers ways to improve.

5 Tips On Beating Ike: Because You'll Get No Sympathy From Me

5: Marth It Up. Are you really having problems with Ike? Pick up Marth. Ike HATES Marth. Something about a better air game, a better defensive game, and an easy time gimping Ike makes this a frustrating match-up for the Son of Greil.

4: Projectiles Am Good. This should be obvious. Ike lacks projectiles. If you don't lack projectiles, use 'em and keep him away. Projectiles beat Quick Draw, leaving Ike to approach the old-fashioned way.

3: Keep Your Distance. Even without projectiles, the best place to be when fighting Ike is mid-range, a bit outside his Fsmash range. This may seem counterintuitive seeing as Ike's got very good range, but anything he can hit you with out there is pretty easy to see coming, and you avoid his beastly jab.

2: An Opening! Ike's kill moves generally leave him open. If you're expecting his kill move, take advantage and strike. If you're not expecting his kill move, WTF are you doing?

1: The DEAD ZOOOOONE!!! Listen up y'all, this may be Ike's biggest weakness.

Aether is very good at recovering vertically. Quick Draw can only recover horizontally. Therefore, if Ike is somewhere lower than the stage and just far enough away from it (and he lacks a jump), a normally easy recovery zone becomes impossible. It's easier than it sounds to get Ike into this position. Wario does it very well, for example.

And those are my 5 tips on beating Ike. Some of 'em may seem obvious, but I've fought plenty of players who are simply clueless against Ike.

Now as for those spammers...Yes, I know, the Fsmash is epic and you can beat people online with it, but that isn't going to work forever. Someday you're going to meet someone who knows your game, and you're going to roll over.

See, Ike has a bad reputation in casual circles because of the spammers. But Ike also has a bad reputation among competitive players, mostly because he lacks advanced techniques, there isn't many good Ikes, and they're sick of hearing the casual group say he's all that.

Poor Ike.

But Ike doesn't want no sympathy from you, no, he wants you to improve! And so do I. So to the Ikes of the world, here are some tips.

5 Tips on Better Ikes and Gardens: Because I Fight For My Friends

5: You're Ike. Most of you don't have a problem with this, but sometimes you don't think about the easy kill at 50%, or the "I don't have to use the Fsmash to kill at 80%" factor. You're Ike. Use this wisely.

4: The B Button Is Nice. Some quick facts about Ike's B moves: You can't stun Ike as he's releasing Eruption, meaning it can be used as a Counter that kills in the higher percents.

If you use Quick Draw on land and don't hit the opponent, iit will end without lag, meaning you can go right into a jab or a Counter. In fact, you should never actually hit with QD if you can help it.

Aether-spamming while on the ledge can get stupid fast, but don't hesitate to use it to get the opponent away from the edge.

Lastly, Ike's Counter is slower than Marth's, so don't use it like Marth's.

3: The Defensive Ike. Counter isn't Ike's only defensive move. Try jumping back while using a forward air, or Quick Draw-ing away as a surprise maneuver. A defensive Ike can get the opponent to overextend, and you know what that means. (NOW you should use that Fsmash)

2: Ike Owns The Air. Ike's air game is a lot better than it first looks. The neutral air has very little landing lag and can combo into the jab, the forward air has great range and can kill, the up air is great at killing at low percents by timing it past an airdodge, the back air is just crazy fast and is a great killer, and the down air can spike and it's got range. Use the air!

1: Use Ike's Best Move. That's right, it's the JAB. The neutral A, the basic combo, whatever you want to call it. Use it to get Ike out of tight spots, use it to rack up damage, but most importantly, use it by pressing down to crouch right after the second hit, canceling the lag and allowing to follow up with whatever you want. (Like, maybe the Fsmash?)

That's all for today folks. Until next time, when it comes to Ike, prepare yourself.