Monday, Jan 28, 2008
The "big" game is easy to call. New York Football Giants will easily cover the 12.5 spread, and have a legitimate shot at winning the game. It's the Puppy Bowl that should get the most action this weekend.
Here are my betting lines for MVP:
- Abigail
Breed: Parson Russell Terrier (aka Jack Russell Terrier) - +400 Too smart to take this stupid thing seriously.
Attucker
Breed: Beagle - +800 Everyone knows Beagle puppies are my favorite, that's why Attucker doesn't stand a chance.
- Prop bet +400 Dog everyone blames for farting
Bingo
Breed: American Staffordshire Terrier/ American Pit Bull Mix - +150 Popularity at an all-time high, but previous marijuana possession and assault charges at the strip club could keep this pooch out of public favor.
- Prop bet: -250 that it eats another dog.
Bruin
Breed: Alaskan Malamute - +1000 This dog was actually meant to compete in the Special Doggy Olympics.
Cali
Breed: Shih Tzu - Even - Some say she's undersized for her position, but has shown incredible resilience on passes thrown over the middle. The Wes Welker of the dog world.
- Prop bet - +150 Cali ends up as Bingo's beeee-yatch.
- +200 HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA COCKAPOO Seriously, lame 30-somethings love these horrible mixed breeds and their wacky names.
Colt
Breed: Bernese Mountain Dog - -250 OMG this dog is so CUTE! (sucker bet)
- Prop bet - -600 that his owner is a douchebag for naming him Colt.
- Prop bet - +200 Will spend the whole time chasing tail like its douchebag owner.
Delilah
Breed: Shepherd Mix - +1500 "Shepherd Mix" otherwise known as dirty Mutt! Get out of here! You ain't PURE! We don't take kindly to your kind!
Dixie
Breed: Golden Retriever - -1000 Dixie = Tom Brady. (When will America stop its ridiculous love affair with Golden Retrievers and Tom Brady?)
- +400 First to sniff its own butt
Elle
Breed: Havanese - +250 This is the year of the small dog. You can bet on it. Seriously... bet on it!
- +600 A Saint Bernard without a barrel of booze around its neck is USELESS!
- Prop bet - +200 first to poop
Emma
Breed: Parson Russell Terrier - +500 Emma, you will never be an adorable Jack Russell...EVER! Get a damn clue and KILL YOURSELF!
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- +300 Wow could we have a dog that is more full of itself in this competition? Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and Bichon Frise? This dog should have a top hat and a monocle. Pride comes before the fall, Lord Finnigan.
- +400 Bingo's Appetizer before locking his jaws around Cali
Jack
Breed: Labrador Mix - +420 Oh my god this dog is so stoned.
- Prop bet -1000 First to eat and eat and eat and pass out early
Jack
Breed: Mini Dachshund - +800 This little ankle-nipper has been combatting the popular notion that it's too small to compete with the big dogs. Well, popular notion is right.
Jackson
Breed: West Highland Terrier - +300 Jackson has spent lots of time bleaching his fur to get more of a white tone. Child molestation charges could come back to haunt this little Thriller.
Janet
Breed: Bull Terrier Mix - +2,000,000 Who the heck names a dog "Janet"? A pathetic, lonely man, that's who!
- -200 This dog has it all! The obvious LL Bean name,just enoughfight with the Rottweiler part, and as a Lab it's good with the kids! Of course, it could get the child-friendliness of a Rottweiler and the toughness of the dangerous-as-a-cotton-ball Lab, so it could be a disaster. Come to think of it, the name is pretty damn lame too. (Line scheduled to change)
- Prop bet +400 first to hump cameraman's leg
Kira
Breed: Chow Chow Mix - Even - This dog is totally into golden showers. It is so obvious. Sexual deviancy can work in an athlete's favor or against it. Just ask Osi Umenyiora.
Maiisey
Breed: Australian Toy Shepherd - -100 - Unlike real Australians, this dog is actually smart and well-behaved. Like real Australians, is so gorgeous you just don't care. And how about that lovely accent! "Bork! Bork!"
Rascal
Breed: Border Collie Mix - +700 Troubled past will catch up with it. America still upset over people-fighting ring allegations.
- +800 Sorry, goth dogs just care about stuff like this.
- +500 Will start cutting itself by the end of the first quarter.
Scuba
Breed: Unknown -- Mixed Breeds - No Line (Off)-A real wild card. From parts unknown, weighing an unknown amount and with unknown amount of experience. Named Scuba because it can be used as a floatation device until it drowns.
- +400 First openly-gay competitor has many social hurdles to surmount, mount. Would be more even money bet, but have you seen the ass on Colt!?!? Ruff Ruff give the dog a bone(r)!
Comments
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Posted Jan 28, 2008 1:10 pm PT
Go BINGO!!! ...and NYG for the super upset victory 
Posted Jan 28, 2008 3:03 pm PT
Pats will win. Giants best chance od winning would be if the Pats didn;t show up and unfortunately for them they have. It may be a close game though.
Posted Jan 28, 2008 8:06 pm PT
This entry truly lives up to your avatar in eccentricity. I was highly entertained.
Posted Jan 29, 2008 10:40 am PT
oh noeh your interested in "puppy bowl"!!! Mr. Surette, have you been (in the words of Bob Barker) "spade or neutered"?
hahaaa!!! sorry sorry I had to take that joke...
hahaaa!!! sorry sorry I had to take that joke...
Posted Jan 29, 2008 12:26 pm PT
You want a tip on the MVP??
Abbigale will run the field!
I have inside info!!
I was there for the filming
Abbigale will run the field!
I have inside info!!
I was there for the filming
Posted Jan 30, 2008 7:32 am PT
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