Okay ... I know ... I'm going to have to do a New Year's blog eventually, but I figured I'd steal "Six Happy Things" from Profoundly Inarticulate so ... I'll be doing that tomorrow ... or the next day. Perhaps I'll even put some thought into some New Year's resolutions. (har-de-har-har)

TODAY however, I'm going to tell you about my 'Chatroom Stalker'.

So, here's the story. After I graduated from High School, I had a bit of a decision to make. Should I go to a school that specialized in Performing Arts (I was a competitive dancer) or go to 'Business School'? I chose the latter, as it seemed the safer and more stable choice. In addition, I chose my father's Alma Mater (University of No Opportunity). YAY .... Off I go to College!!!

After the first year (I was still living with my parents while attending college), my parents decided I really needed the 'full college experience' ... which apparently meant living in a dorm and not in their house. So ... I went to Huskerville USA a mere 45 minutes away from home.

Apparently I was an EXTREMELY adventurous sort while attending this fine establishment (which likely explains why it took me 6 years to graduate from college) as my brother was in a fraternity and all my girlfriends were dating college dudes in OTHER frats. YAY ... Party every night. (And I did just that ... every night ... then promptly slept through cla$$es the following days)

So apparently, a gentleman (we'll call him that for lack of a better term at the moment) made my accquaintance, and apparently also 'saw' my adventurous nature. (he he he)

Now, FIFTEEN years later (15 ... yes ... It's been 15 years since I've even been in the vacinity of this particular person) he stumbles across me in a Yahoo chat room. He briskly starts in on what an old, fat, drunken whore I am ...

WEE!!! So he's going on and on and on ... and finally someone in the room asks him ... why this is relevant ... FIFTEEN years later, and what his malfunction is about something that happened FIFTEEN years ago. (It's likely he's one of the FEW guys I sincerely just wouldn't give the time of day to)

So 'jerkface' sputters and spews about how it has affected my life. (Hmmm ... how would he know unless he's literally PHYSICALLY stalking me?) And he goes on and on about my 'unseemly' behavior ... again ... happening fifteen years ago. Everyone in the particular room I was chatting in immediately ignored him after that ... and he, of course, had to go make a new moniker to come right back in and start up again.

Jerkface did this several times (I submit he was looking for me online daily, but I don't chat daily) over a period of three weeks. Freaky freaky chat stalker. He lives in my town. I do hope he's got a wife and kids so he doesn't come a knockin' on my door (not that I ever open my door to a knock ... but still)

So that's my cyber-stalker story in all it's glory. Good times.

Next post ... Six Happy Things