Well, good afternoon all. I have been a little busy wasting time today so I havent let myself much time to do a blog thing but that's ok because I can type quickly and diligently (sp?) and it will still be witty, informative and slightly arousing.. You have been warned.

So my weekend was, for lack of a better word, fantastical! Now i know what you're saying, you're saying, that's not even a word! Well have you not read my profile thing? I'm freaing Jesus, if Shakespear can make up words, I'm pretty sure Jesus could too. So, on with the description of my intensely tiring weekend segmented into three parts, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, as you might expect. Let's break tradition and start with Friday! Oh, wait...

Friday:

I was feeling lazy on Friday. I had KFC for dinner and I didnt even want to go out. All my mates had bought tickets to a cocktail party several months ago. The tickets went on sale for one day and sold out in that one day and cost $15. My mate tried to call me at work but I was busy so I didnt get the call and thus missed out on tickets. He did buy me a ticket anyway but sold it the next day for $50 so I wasnt too mad at him, it was a smart business move and I would have done the same. Anyway, I get a phone call from him saying that one of my other mates pulled out because he's pus$y whipped (i cannot believe that word is censored) and couldnt get a ticket for his girl so I got a free ticket! Awesome, no? Anyway, I finished off my KFC, spruced myself up, put on my sexy Calvin Klien sweater and headed out to Onyx bar in West Perth. (Oh, Mac, by the way, Onyx is awesome, I hope you went because it's the cooles venue ever!)

I got to the door and got let in without a ticket despite the fact they were continually rejecting people for not having tickets. My mates were basically running the event so it wasn't really a problem and I explained to the bouncer "dude, it's not a party if I'm not here.." I did have a ticket, but it was inside so yeah, I couldnt use it to get in and I couldnt be bothered calling the person inside who had it. I got inside and oh.. my.. god.... Hotties everywhere! I couldnt believe it, so many hot women in one place it was ridiculous! So I concentrated my efforts on a couple of lucky young ladies and decided on one who was with one of my mates at the time. Whilst discussing wingman tactics with another friend, this girl came over to see him, he saw my eyes light up and my focus changed dramatically This girl is awesome, SUCH a hottie. I spent a lot of the early part of the evening with her but then I turned my attention to these two girls I knew from before, both awesome girls, both with boyfriends () and we partied until 2am when the bar shut. That wasnt the end of our night, though, we went out drinking and partying until 6am, which meant I slept until 4pm on Saturday..

Saturday:

So you would think that inteligence would prevail and I would stay home and sleep on Saturday night, right? Well, clearly you dont know me very well because I went out and got trashed. It was my best friend's leaving party thang and I had to go.. So I did. I told myself, I will be good, I wont stay out late and I got my mate to agree with me that we'd come home earlyish cuz he'd been out with me till 6am the night before. But, us being us, we managed to make an earlish night into a 4am return time. As much fun as Saturday night was, my body hated me for it and it was even more angry at me because I had spoilt it with all the beautiful women at the cocktail party and then gone to the Paramount where the girls were, uh, gross. So Saturday night; although late, was uneventful..

Sunday:

Well, Sunday was recovery day.. Thanks to my dog who woke me up at 9am by licking my face, I didnt get much sleep.. I went back to sleep after he woke me up but he got on the chair in my room, slept for about an hour and then did his little singing trick whereby he just makes these howling noises and it sounds like he's singing.. So i got up, threw him out and he just did it outside the door. Short of killing him, the best solution was to get up and give him some attention.. The Grand Prix was on, of course, and Magny-Cours is not my favourite circuit but it was nice to see a Ferrari resurgence (sp?) but more specifically, I like to see Kimi winning again Ok, so I'm a McLaren boy through and through, dont get me wrong, but I dont like Ron Dennis (Or Jean-Paul, for that matter) so I dont mind seeing them get beaten once in a while. I'd rather see Kimi win than Massa but still, Hamilton managed his 8th podium in a row which gives him yet another record. What a man! For those of you tipping next week, I dont think Ferrari will be as strong at Silverstone as they were this weekend so dont get too used to it, McLaren will be back with a vengance and you can gurantee it will be a good race..

The higlight of the race, for me, was the fact that Nick Heidfeld was keeping Fernando Alonso behind him. I dont like Alonso, he's a crybaby and he can't separate his emotions from his profession on or off the track so he doesnt deserve an F1 seat, I dont think. He's over rated, he's used to winning and when he doesnt, he cries and that's lame. He's had two bad finishes this year and one was this weekend, due to a gearbox failure in Q3 and the other? Well that was just bad driving because he was being a p!ssy little baby.

Anyway, i think that's enough for today and since we seem to like the animals biting off more than they can chew, how about seeing a human bite off more than they can chew? OK:

My money's on the horse, personally, but you never know, she might be a really strong little girl.. Interestingly, this little girl looks a lot like Cher's son.

That's it from me, kids, I'm off home. Leave a comment if you read it all or even if you didnt.. I know it's long and boring but hey, I was bored

EDIT: Oh and I almost forgot (OK, I did forget but thats not important..) the special challenge!! OK, it's called the Isaiah Washington challenge.. What you have to do is this:

Find your nearest coworker and strangle them.. Really choke them, go on, that's it.. Now find your nearest homosexual coworker.. Call them af@g Dont be shy about it, scream it out, nice and loud, so everyone can hear! Now wait a week or so and say sorry but only if you're pressured into it..

This is exactly what Isaiah Washington did and then he got fired. I want you all to tell me how many of you get fired because his theory is that he's being fired because he's black. I think it's fairly universal that you would get fired for that and I want to test his theory out.. So you all let me know how you get along, ok?

Note: This is just another reason to NOT watch Greys Anatomy.. Ha! Like you needed any MORE reasons, right?