Greetings once again, my friends and fellow bloggers. In a previous blog I mentioned how it is the little things that can make a difference. And I have been thinking about this for the last week. My life had had some significant changes over the past several months, primarily due to the death of my sister and a marriage blacker than a Nietzschean abyss. I have had a great deal of trouble recovering and grieving from my sister's passing. A few days ago I read something in the Rurouni Kenshin manga, of all places, that calmed my turbulent heart and mind, giving me the first real peace I have had since December.

The quote comes from a dream Kenshin has. He dreams of his first love, Tomoe, at a point where his own heart and mind are in turmoil. In his dream, Tomoe appears to Kenshin and says, "When you smile, I who is inside yourself, will always smile with you." At first I cried as my thoughts and memoried turned towards my sister. After a few minutes, the meaning of that quote struck me as profound. And for the first time I felt that I was able to be at peace with my sister's death. There is truth in that simple statement. My sister would not want me to feel only hurt and loss and confussion and sadness. She would smile knowning that somewhere in my heart, I was smiling too. And I feel as a corner has been turned. Something so simple, and yet to true and elegant can make a difference.

As of today, my wife and I are seperated. And I feel at peace. I don't know what the future holds in store for me, but I feel less anger and less betrayed than I did a day before. And I hope that tomorrow will be better than today. I will continue to work, I will continue to pray, and I will continue to be the kind of man I can take pride in. And in doing so, I will bring more to the world than I take from it. Nietzsche wrote at the end of the 19th century, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." And through my sadness and grief, I can see myself being a better man as I have a greater understanding of such feelings. And as heavy as those feelings have been, I can still carry them and not be weighed down so much that I am stuck in the mud. I can envision a better life and a brighter day. And sometimes a small reminder...perhapse from a book or movie or kind worlds from friends and family can remind us of those things that are truely important.

May some happiness touch upon your day.