And though the sun will still shine on,
My whole world would all be gone...

After ALMOST what I could have said was the WORST week (for work) ever…

I was sitting at my desk, at 8 PM, super frustrated about the recent events of the weather (my heater is completely shot - and I had to ask Dan for a portable heater) and horrible homeowners, I almost screamed:

"This week is the WORST week of my life & I could only say someone DYING could make it worse"

Dan gasped at my phrase, even though I wasn't wishing anything on anyone, but because "DEATH" is far more greater then ANYTHING a homeowner can say or do…

When I got home at about 9:50 PM, Joey said, "You mean to tell me you have been at work this whole time?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Well Gami & your dad called, I thought you were with them.."

I KNEW then that SOMETHING was very wrong. If my father bothers to call me, I can assume it is something IMPORTANT, and if Gami calls me… NOT GOOD. As soon as Joey said that, I phoned my father - I knew Daddy would just tell me EXACTLY what was going on, without any sugar coating.

I was then informed Granddad had a STROKE.

While Dad told me it didn't seem too bad, only some paralysis on one side of his face, I KNEW he was basically telling me that Granddad didn't seem NEAR death JUST yet. But my father KNOWS how emotional I can be, and almost ANYTHING having to do with Granddad makes me bawl my head off. Just hearing the word "STROKE" made me shake and sob uncontrollably.

And I haven't stopped crying since.

Any mention of my Granddad has just made me break down, and I don't even know how I will function at work tomorrow. I don't even want to go in, I just want to sit by the phone or go to hospital - but my granddad is JUST like my dad - when they are sick or hurt, they don't want a big production. And my father tried to convince me, "WHAT can you really do?".

I guess nothing. And that is the hardest part - whatever happens will happen, with or without my knowledge or consent. I cannot stop or even alleviate his pain, nor can I predict or control if he is going to die or suffer for years to come.

I want to scream. I want to slap all my homeowners who have basically yelled at me solely because I didn't answer the phone when they called. Yeah, surprise, surprise - SOMETIMES I AM BUSY, God forbid I take a lunch or even go to the bathroom…