This will be a picture post... dont worry - I'll blog soon

^ A closer look @ my default image. Yes... I'm REALLY goofy

^ Me & my "girlfriend" (best friend) Crystal @ Alex's birthday party

^ Jack & I @ Papa's house on 10-14-2007

^ Me, on my 24th Birthday (Sept 12th), with my kick a$$ Death Pony cake!

I must be worth about a billion dollars right now - because that is how I feel.

Yesterday marked exactly one month since the Joel & I separated, and it still amazes me that I have just evolved into someone I can actually respect. I dropped off my application to the Attorney General for child support. I have been praying constantly asking for help & guidance in my divorce, and God has continuously blessed me with insight & help from even the least likely of sources. This only furthers my resolve that I have made the right decision.

Making the right choices has become some sort of craft to me - looking at the situation with eyes wide open and knowing that even if it isn't easy, I can and will make the right choice. My life was never meant to be painless, but I was born & bred to do my best and survive even the hardest trials in life. I can honestly say that God blessed me with one of the greatest fathers anyone has ever had - and I would like to thank my family & friends for all of their support during this time. You all have helped me see that I am worth more then I had been made to believe for so long & helped me to find the courage, strength, hope, and love in myself again. Thank you - your friendship, love, & support have humbled me to my very core.

I have made so many discoveries about life & myself recently, but one of the most valuable things I have come to realize is that I have the power. I have the power to say enough is enough, the power to modify my behavior to become the person I believe I was truly meant to be, and the power to keep my heart open & just as filled with love as it ever was. At first I was blinded by all the pain, I wanted to shut everyone out of my life & heart - I did this for YEARS. But I have come to realize that a guarded heart of stone may not feel pain - but it wont feel love either.

I have had the benefit of seeing several of the greatest people struggle with the very same situation I am in - and regardless of how they treated me as a result of their inner turmoil, I still love them and see the goodness in them. When they hurt, I hurt for them too. When they cry, I want to cry too. When they want to lash out in anger for the wrongs done to them, I become angry at the injustice and want to protect them. I want to tell my friends that they are worth their weight in gold to me, and that everyone in their life should treat them like that. That is who I am, and NO ONE can take that away from me.

Yes, sometimes it is very hard to be positive and courageous - but I know that is what God wants from me. I know that, like a car wreck, I have people looking at me - waiting for me to stumble, be vulnerable, or break down. And I cant say I wont slip, but what I can say is that I know I have God there to pick me up and my wonderful friends & family to help me along my journey. I am looking forward to the adventure that is living on my own. I am excited about fixing up my house and doing "boring" things - like giving the puppies a bath, going to the park, listening to the rain fall outside, and just seeing life for the beautiful thing is really is. I have been gone far too long... I hope you all can welcome me back with open arms.

A boy sits by the monument 'Sympathy', in memory of Malchik, a stray dog who was brutally stabbed to death by a young model more than four years ago.

The monument to the dog brutally killed by the fashion model, was erected in Mendeleevskaya Metro Station in Moscow.

The dog called "Malchik" ("Boy") was an ordinary street dog, of an estimated 100,000 stray dogs in Moscow. Malchik was a black mongrel dog, the size of a police dog. Vendors of the stalls and other "residents" of the Metro underpass, who often rode the subway to work, would stop to fed the friendly dog which lived in the underpass for about 3 years.

Unfortunately, one day he encountered a fashion model named Yuliana Romanova who was walking with her terrier. She tried to get her dog to attack Malchik, who was sleeping peacefully in the subway station. And when Malchik managed to cause the terrier to back down, Yuliana drew out a knife from her purse and stabbed Malchik herself. She managed to stab Malchik approximately 6 times in his chest, back, and groin area before the "residents" realized their boy was being attacked & came to his rescue.

Only moments after the rescue, Malchik passed away. Without fighting back against his attacker, the dog or the human being stabbing him, he quietly died. Soon the police and the ambulance brigade arrived. The doctors refused to take the girl to the hospital as they did "think/believe" that this brutal random act of her killing the dog was "very serious". The police were not too concern with investigating the case, while the fashion model tried to go abroad - *aka* FLEE THE COUNTRY. The Izvestia newspaper called the girl, and she did not seem to be very sorry about the dog's death:

"All this does not matter now", the model told the reporter.

"I can only say that I regret. But in a week I am going to Spain for a job. I hope to forget all this. At least you will not bother me any more"…

However, all her dreams did not come true. The attack outraged the people of Moscow and group of activists appealed to the police and the authorities. Legal hearing in the court was conducted, and the court recognized the girl irresponsible. The court verdict required the girl to be placed in the psychiatric clinic, and she is in the clinic now.

A group of influential people in Moscow wrote to the head of the Moscow Metro suggesting that a monument be erected in memory of the unfortunate dog. Residents of Moscow raised $15,000 for the statue of Malchik that was erected in a subway station, his favorite place in Moscow.

"The question of respect to the world of animals that live next to us is like the first stage of morality, which one cannot skip in order to proceed to all further stages…"