Two things, you maggots:

1. Yarr, that be spoilers ahead so beware

2. This is written by a diehard fan of the comic. As such some parts of this review aren't going to make a lot of sense. This is one review where I can't be bias free

Hurm...

Who Watches The Watchmen

Watchmen. Considered the greatest Graphic Novel of all time and peerless in its genre. Until now considered unfilmable. Clearly not. Though far from perfect, director Zack Snyder has proven that at least a film can be made out of the material. It is at times a messy and disjointed experience, but it is never less than a thrilling and enthralling watch.

Snyder's greatest strength and at the same time his greatest weakness is his slavish reverence to the source material, and it was out of this that the biggest delights and frustrations for me were found. I was sometimes overwhelmed by the multitude of images and ideas coming before me, and this is coming from an ardent fan of the source material, god knows what the ordinary Joe made of it. The biggest thrill overall was seeing the little aspects of the GN I loved so much so lovingly recreated. Cameos from the two Bernie's, Rorschach's narration, some of my favourite lines being kept in the film, these small touches made my day. However, it is clear that for an adaptation so dense, some elements are going to be lost in translation. The problems with the pacing, due to a crammed first half and a rushed and somewhat detached ending are of course the folly of Snyder's sometimes self-indulgent directing style. You sometimes wonder what a more ruthless approach might have achieved. Still, with the inevitable director's cut I do hope some of these issues with pacing will be remedied, even if it will always retain its disjointed feel. Such is the problem with adapting Watchmen. You feel that a more ruthless director might have been the way to go, not afraid to mess with the material and yet, the film's greatest strength is its recreation of the GN and all its little quirks, unwilling to sacrifice any ground in making the most faithful adaptation possible. But, so faithful is it, it at times feels like it's just going through the motions, seeming at times a cold adaptation due to its perceived lack of imagination, sometimes feeling like an empty shell of a movie. Alan Moore did have a point when he called the film "unfilmable", it's hard to win. As such it gets half way there, a great adaptation but a so-so film.

Visually it looks stunning even if, for the most part, it doesn't feel particularly real, feeling more (as it was) like it was filmed in a parking lot. That's the modern game though and the CG stands up for the most part, creating a visually striking world. The acting is, for the most part, top notch. Everything you've heard about Jackie Earle Healy as Rorschach is true; he's a revelation, nailing the character spot on. He has all the best moments (Rorschach is prison is just perfect, great stuff) and would be the main reason I'd go to see it a second time. Billy Crudup as Doc. Manhattan also gets his character dead on, even if his power is not as elaborated on as I had hoped (but the fact that elements that I felt needed to be elaborated on weren't, is just nitpicking, but important nitpicking!). Jeffrey Dean Morgan IS Iron Man, ahem, I mean The Comedian. Matthew Goode is miscast but it's made so blatantly obvious he's the villain and he's so badly underwritten here that I can't blame the guy much. Malin Ackerman is awful, bland acting; I've never seen such a rung in performance. And Patrick Wilson turned out to be the real surprise for me, giving a thankless and low key role some real depth and gravitas, probably emerging as the closest thing to a hero in the whole film. He really was a joy to watch and a welcome surprise.

Now, for the fanboy nitpicking. While I did enjoy the film there were a few elements that disappointed me as a fan

-some missing lines, or lines given to other characters when not appropriate

- Wow, it really was violent as hell. Dare I say, too violent?

- Slow mo wasn't overused, but I still found it unnecessary

- Disappointed somewhat that Rorschach's origin was so shirt. It's all there in some shape of course but it's somewhat diluted

- The music direction was awful. Of course I love All Along the Watchtower and I'm aware it's in the GN, but it still didn't fit the scene. The role of music in a film is to add to a scene, not be completely separate of it. A more orchestral score would've helped. Lazy work from the composer, hardly anything worth mentioning.

- The ending. Can't figure out whether I liked it or not. It made sense I guess but I did miss the squid and the whole build-up. The whole "practical joke" angle seems weaker when they're making it look like Jon did it. Anyway, the jury for me is still out on that one. Though I didn't like the immediate aftermath with Dan witnessing Rorschach's death. I preferred the idea of Rorschach dying alone with no one really noticing or caring. Though I did like the way Dan was less accepting of Veidt's plans than in the GN, which was a nice touch after the indifference left me frustrated at the end of the novel. It certainly made Veidt look less heroic and let the viewer make up their own mind on the matter. I applaud the makers for that much

So overall, a flawed film that borders on the brilliant. With time, I may consider it a masterpiece and I eagerly await the Director's Cut that might remedy some of the issues I have by giving the story more time to breathe and maybe expanding on some elements that were sorely missed, such as more screen time for the two Bernie's, though most of my main gripes will still be there, sadly. As an adaptation, it's near flawless; though I do feel that for those who haven't read the GN will be largely indifferent towards it, as it's merely an above adequate film when judged on its own merits. The joy comes for this being a film for the fanboys to treasure from the little clues in the opening credit sequence (possibly the best I've ever had the pleasure of sitting through), right to the "circle becomes complete" ending of Rorschach's journal in Seymour's hands. Because of this the film deserves to take its place among comic book movie's elite, as a gift to the fanboys by the ultimate fanboy himself.

8/10