MovieTome: The truth comes out.

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Okay I said I wasn't going to do politics anymore but you people forced me. Hello and welcome to "The Reality Hour," on Public Access Channel 24, blowing your mind every Saturday night at 1AM! Tonight's topic: "Barack Obama, Hitler or just Castro?"

I actually don't know who this dude is. We've got a couple of our favorite guests here tonight to discuss this. First of all, our favorite news source, from a few towns over, it's my brother's best friend's third cousin's hairdresser's uncle!

I don't know who this dude is either, he's on pubic access in this state or something. Couldn't be more pleased to be here!

Google says this dude is a truther or something like that. I was doing a search for pictures of something like that and his face came up. He's also wearing black SO I THINK IT'S A POSSIBLITY. Great! And another frequent guest on our show, Senator Ron Paul!

You will be reminded of this at some point. That's Doctor Professor Ron Paul! *wink*

WHAT IS HE POINTING AT?! Is it the evils he seeks to expose? Oh right! Haha, how could I forget?

Every time I hear this I want to kill something. Alright now, gentlemen, to the task at hand: I don't mean to frighten you, but.... I've come across secret new information that indicates that President E-lect Barack Obama has plans to create a nationwide army loyal to him that will travel the country enforcing his will wherever he sees fit!

No really. *gasp* How can this be?

And I can promise you this, voters from Red State, because I'm an annonymous member of congress! Well, as it turns out, his so-called "attempts to encourage community service and expand the Peace Corps" are actually an attempt to create an army with the ultimate goal of taking over the world!!!!

I heard that Hitler was bad or something and, like, I don't like that! :( We should have seen this coming! Dammit, we should have seen this coming.

Or had it ghostwritten. It was ghostwritten, I swear. I just approved it and put my name on it. WHICH IS NOT NEARLY AS BAD REALLY. I could've told you this would happen In fact, I'm pretty sure I predicted this in something I wrote on the back of a place mat at Denny's or something.

This guy looks like he should be selling life insurance or some crap. Truly terrifying times gentlemen.

I propose two sides with every combo order! Doctor, we could all use a course of action here. What do you propose we do about this?

IT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION! I'd reccomend that all of your viewers start shooting random people in the face.

*points at camera* You think members of this army are already among us?

Well... yes... possibly... but it's also a great way to exercise your second amendment rights! And we could all stand to do that!

The weather's been sorta crappy lately. I dunno.... Hear hear!

Actually I just hate Fall/Winter as a rule. Alright well, gentlemen, time is short.....

But hey, how about those Bruins, huh? Haha, indeed. I have to be exposing myself to highway traffic in twenty minutes!

Facebook status: Excellent! So, any final thoughts?

Many of you have already started on this! Yes, I'd reccomend that all of your viewers begin a steady weight gain program right this minute. Cease all exercise and don't eat anything green unless it's made out of or covered in sugar! Make yourselves entirely undesirable to any sort of millitary force or other human beings even!

Common materials you should easily be able to find. And don't forget to check my website for awesome tips on how to build a sniper rifle out of used pizza boxes during the apocalypse!

Seriously, how about those Bruins, huh? Indeed! Well, gentlemen, I think my ride's here!

Hey, could you take me with you and drop me off at Wendy's?

I know I do, maaaaaaaan. Haha, got the munchies?

I shall pat myself on the back for this. *pats self on back* No actually I work there.