When I was a kid, I was a short, gooffy looking, glasses wearing, red headed, dork. Needless to say, elementary school was not fun. I would get picked on, shoved around, made fun of, and receive other forms of school yard torture on a daily basis. When I ascended from elementary school to junior high, I thought this would end. I was wrong.

In my junior high, there were many various cliques, none of which I belonged to. One of these cliques was "The Skaters". The Skaters called themselves that because if they said what they really were, that would arouse the suspicion of the school police. What this group really were was a group of Straightedgers who happen to skate.

In other parts of the county, Straightedgers are calm, peaceful people who live an ultra clean life**** In Utah, Straightedgers are a violent, militant street gang who live an ultra clean life**** Straightedgers in Utah are usually members of the LDS Church, Mormons, who have a problem with anyone who doesn't follow the teaching of the LDS Church. Usually these problems end in violent assaults that the SLCPD typically ignores.

The Skaters in my school were Straightedgers. The Skaters were aware of my presence. I was a coffee drinking, heavy metal listening, atheist. The Skaters ****ed me up often. As a result, I have a long standing grudge against Skaters and Straightedgers. When CM Punk lost the World Heavyweight Title, I cheered loudly. I watch the X Games to see epic brutal crashes. I hate Labrador Retrievers. That has nothing to do with anything, I just wanted to say it.

The other day, I recieved Skate 2 via Gamefly. I spent all of that day setting up my avatar to fall, and fall hard. It was AWESOME! Skate 2 is the most fun game I've played this year. Not the best, the most fun.

Skate 2: B-

Recently Codemasters released You're In The Movies, a collection of movie inspired mini-games that utilize the Xbox Live Vision camera. To help promote this game, Codemasters got Burt Reynolds, star of Delgo and In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, to do ads for the game. Unfortunately the game was met with negative reviews and lackluster sales. Nevertheless, Codemasters has decided to go forward with a game that further integrates celebrities and the movies they are famous for starring in. Today Codemasters announced R. Kelley Presents- Urine The Movies.

Based on the recently adjudicated criminal trial, you play as R&B singer R. Kelley. You go across the country performing concerts, recording songs, giving interviews, and urinating on as many people as possible. You get points for ticket and album sales, press coverage, total fan base, and volume of liquid expelled. You can even record videos that you sell in the game. These videos include concert DVD's, music videos, and underground bootleg porn.

When reached for comment about this story, R. Kelley released the following statement: "I feel so blessed to be able to use my god given talents to entertain and defile millions of my fans. I thank the lord everyday for the abilities I exhibit both publicly and privately that enriches the lives of so many people. I can only hope that God will keep the golden goodness that is his love flowing for all to enjoy."

R. Kelley Presents- Urine The Movies is slated for an October 2009 release. This is expected to coincide with the complete 20 DVD box set release of all the videos for R. Kelley's "Trapped In The Closet"