Usually, I'd do a monthly blog about Formula One and a current issue (for those wondering why there wasn't one last month, I had typed it up, then GS logged me out when I sent it, which meant I lost all the text and I couldn't be bothered to do it all again given the length it was), but instead I'm going to talk about myself, and my current place in life.

September 6th, 2006. My 17th birthday, and exactly one month removed from Jenson Button's first win in Hungary. I was taking my first driving lesson that day, whilst I wasn't going out with her I had a girl who loved me, and on that day I began 6th Form (or College, depending upon your preferences). It felt like a breath of fresh air - knowing we were in control of what we wanted from our future, and that I was about to meet a load of new people (our 6th Form is fairly unique in that because our school cannot provide for every subject in 6th Form, it links up with three other local schools which have the capabilities to teach those other subjects, therefore three other groups of 6th Formers to meet). Usually for an Aspie such as myself this would actually be quite a traumatic time, but, seeing how well life was going at that time, it didn't seem to bother me at all. I was looking forward to taking my Maths, ICT, Business and Physics courses and heading towards University.

The good times wouldn't last long, however.

Just a week into 6th Form and I was kicked out of my Physics course because I hadn't actually met the requirements (A C grade in Science at GCSE, whereas I had only managed a D) - I accepted this and took it as just a minor blip, and proceeded to do a re-sit for GCSE Science so I could re-take the course again. Thing was, despite these re-sit lessons taking place at a Science-specific college, my lessons were in a French room. Seeing as I was going nowhere with my studies there, I soon abandoned showing up to those lessons and just self-taught myself at home.

A few weeks in and I went on holiday to Cyprus - to which I started noticing the girl that liked me at the time was starting to act a little funny - she wasn't her usual self when I spoke to her online. She soon stated that she didn't feel the same for me anymore, and that really ruined any chances of a potential relationship with her - double whammy as she was an avid Formula One fan too.

That stab kept hitting me once I was back, because people at 6th Form knew of our closeness but didn't know she had effectively "ended" whatever it was we had. Whenever anyone asked about us, it just felt like a stab in the heart having to explain what had happened... whatever a stab to the heart actually feels like.

(NOTE: Maybe I should add at this time, I am actually from Northamptonshire and she was from Shropshire, so it was actually quite a distant thing, but I had met her in person before 6th Form - in fact, I met her two days before Button's first win - I put it down to seeing her that my F1 dream finally came true!)

A little over a month later, and one of the friends of that particular girl then actually told me the exact truth of what was going on - whilst claiming she liked me, she was actually seeing another guy (local to her) and trying to go out with him - which would've been fair enough if she'd have actually said to me personally, I would've been upset and I would've understood, but to not even tell me is something I do not accept. She was even going to the cinema alone with him before I even got to meet her in person. Safe to say since knowing that, I have never spoken to her since. I still visit Telford occasionally to see my friends I have there, but luckily she isn't with that group.

But that truth really brought me down - and I looked for comfort in the form of socialising with my friends - which was good, but it didn't do my school work any good either. It was around this time as well I had recently joined the Formula One Passion Union as a new member, making the occasional post, but nothing too frequent.

January came, and my exams bombed. I wasn't able to focus in lessons, and everything seemed to be going wrong for me. At the start of year 7, I was predicted A's and A*'s at GCSE, and yet here I was 5 and a half years later failing all of my courses - it wasn't fun.

Soon enough, before I knew it, it was the start of exams for AS, and I had finally managed to gain my first girlfriend just days before (as I pointed out earlier I am an Aspie, and for anyone who knows about Asperger Syndrome or Autism, getting a girlfriend is quite a feat for such an individual) - times starting to peak up again? No. Literally one hour before my first exam, she dumped me - after being with me just 2 and a half days. An absolutely rotten year just got worse - not to mention Jenson's poor outings in F1 - and those exams bombed too. Another girlfriend followed after the exams, but even she could only last 8 days before dumping me. She would, currently, stand to be the last girlfriend I ever had.

Probably the only thing going right for me at the time was my rapid progression up in the F1PU - as a result of consistent news posting and giving my thoughts on topics etc. (and even giving influence for BlaZe_irl to use my "Points of Discussion" in his GP threads), BlaZe put in the suggestion to current leader Aloushi87 to promote me as an officer. He did so, and little did I realise the impact I was going to have to make immediately once I had the position.

Anyone around at the time will know the grim story of the F1PU's LeaderGate, and the ensuing battle raging on at the time. What wasn't so obvious to all of you lot at the time was I was, effectively, the peacemaker of the whole debate - I was the one that kept each other from totally destroying one another (even though that was impossible at times). Aloushi, the leader who had not been present for nearly three months, had returned offering a wave of new features into the union which he simply did not deliver on. The two most senior officers, BlaZe and kipi, took the notice of the rapid decline in members visiting/using the union, and realised the leadership of Aloushi was starting to become ineffective. I had been asked to side with kip and BlaZe but, given I had only just been promoted as an officer, knew it would be the wrong decision to side with any party in the debate, and thus I kept the level-head. The infamous "meeting" that had been mentioned was thought of, created and controlled by myself, but as you probably realise I gave up hope and just let them go at it, because I was unable to keep the peace in the end.

BlaZe and kipi left, and Aloushi again disappeared. Within a month and a half of becoming an officer, it effectively felt like I had to run the place to keep it alive.

If that stress wasn't enough, it then came to results day for AS - and I failed everything. Sink into depression time. The only shining light was finding out a week later I had gained the necessary C grade at GCSE for Science, but at that point I had no interest for Physics anymore.

Everything above happened within just eleven months. Possibly the worst eleven months of my life.

September 6th, 2007. One year had passed and I was now 18. But also a year down on all my mates - and I was considered the stright-A student out of 98% of all of them. Probably the most embarrassing day of my life, even though it was meant to be fun. By the advice of my Mother, I changed my subjects to Media, a different Business course and an Accounts course. That's where the fun all began again. There was no teacher to take the Accounts course, and it was dropped pretty quickly - therefore, leaving me no choice but to choose another subject. It meant I dropped my new business course and went back to my old one, and doing a double award for it on top of that.

A positive did come early on though, as my Media teacher was a very jolly fellow who had a unique ability to socialise with the students, yet somehow get us brilliant results at the same time. I can say now he is easily the best teacher I've had.

The F1PU meanwhile was falling to pieces - with no "major" names in the union, I was effectively left to run the place until November 18th - Aloushi came back and made one post, which would turn out to be the last contribution he ever made to the F1PU. There was virtually no one left on the board, but I was determined to keep the place alive: this was a union I liked, with people I got on well with - I couldn't let it die because of people squabbling.

January came, and it was exam time for AS part 2: this time, things were a whole lot better. My coursework for business was a vast improvement, and my Media skills were as good as other subjects had been in the past - I felt as if I'd been re-born. I also passed my driving test that month despite terrible conditions and car problems throughout - what a month it had been, and it built me right back up from the slump I'd had from the year before.

To top it all off, next month the people of the Formula One Passion Union trusted in me enough to become the new leader, and to this date I still wear the green tag with pride. It was an honour to know people believed in me, and I showed my passion for the sport when it was dying by keeping the place alive.

Not much really took place over the next couple of months, which allowed me to be able to be free to finish my coursework in comfort and score very well, as well as producing brilliant exam results as well.

Once I started A2 work before we broke up for the summer holiday, that's when the stress all began again - Mum fell pregnant. I allude back to the Aspergers and remind you Iwas an only child, so when I heard the news a load of thoughts ran straight through my head: the baby was due right in my most vital part of next year, when coursework deadlines would be met and exam revision would be at its most crucial - and to have a new baby brother or sister coming in, whilst having to move out my room and into the attic for it and having to help refurbish the place so it was all possible? No way could I have dealt with that stress.

Eventually, I came to liking the thought of having a baby brother or sister... and then I get the news that there was a miscarriage. Those of you that wondered why I said I'd be taking considerable amounts of time off, and then saying it wouldn't be happening, you now know why. It was such a sad time for all of us, and I felt considerably bad for Mum - knowing that I'd be heading off to University, a new little one in the family would've allowed her to take her mind off of me and not worry so much.

Results for AS the 2nd came along, and they made me VERY happy - I had achieved an A in Media, and I was over the moon given the bitter disappointment of the previous year. It wasn't all perfect though.

The reason behind the miscarriage was found, and it required an operation to fix, scheduled for November. We let it wait until the time came and then we'd see how things went.

September 6th, 2008. I'm now 19, and started my third year of 6th Form two days ago. It's actually a Saturday on this day, and one day before the infamous "Lewis got screwed" at Spa incident. It's wet, miserable and raining, but I'm at an Open Day at Leicester de Montfort University, looking at a Media Production course to study there. Right there and then I knew there was going to be no other Uni that could offer me a course I was going to enjoy as much as that one - and as it is now, that's where I'll be looking to head this September. Fresh off doing so well the previous year, I'm looking for equal scores (but one grade to improve by one) in order to get the points I need. The year goes well, especially as (at one point) I end up three months ahead of schedule with one piece of coursework for Business. It all seems to be going well.

But, with almost every story in this blog, there is a twist. It's now November, and trusy, reliable NHS cancel Mum's operation for lack of room in the Hospital, and it gets held back to January - right before my exams, when I need the most time tomyself and the least amount of time having to do stuff around the house. Karma has something against me, I swear.

The exams pass fine, but then the stress kicks in. Despite being so far ahead with my business coursework at one point, I'm now actually behind, as well as five other pieces having to be collected in as well (with said Business and one piece of Media both being 100+ pages long). All this time, I'm also having to help my Mum around the home and making sure she's fine whilst my Dad is working throughout the day. To boot, the NHS now tell us my Mum has a weak heart, and that she's vulnerable to a heart attack. Just brilliant. Yet another downturn in tough times.

The months pass by and she recovers well, but again due to the inefficiency of our National Health Service, my Mum still isn't back at work because they continually lose/mess up results, despite her being next to 100% fully fit now. Thank God I finally got to vote on Thursday; shame it wasn't General Elections so we could get that pathetic excuse of a "leader" Gordon Brown out of power.

And now through all of this, I stand here: in less than a week, I will have finished 6th Form forever. Three years with all of that going on throughout... I think I deserve a medal. But then I have 4 exams to do next week, and wait for results. It's de Montfort or bust (given my 2nd Uni choice now actually needs more UCAS points than de Montfort), and if I get there, I'll be thrilled. But it also means other issues:

- I have to become self-dependent. As an Aspie, that ain't easy;
- I'm already going to be 20 when I finally go, if I get there. I know there will be others that took a gap year, but I'll still feel odd being a year behind;
- I'm going to be away from my parents for a considerable amount of time for the first time in my life - again, not easy;
- A whole new city to learn, a whole new load of people to meet, and it'll be harder to socialise with complete strangers;
- Uni is about the fun times: how will I fit in as I'm Straight Edge?

All I wanna know is how have you guys who are already at/been to Uni coped with those issues? Any advice would really help right now, because the future confuses me a lot.

September 6th, 2009. I'll be home celebrating my 20th birthday with everyone, but will the results in August say I've done enough or will I be stuck at home, not knowing what to do?

I can only hope it's the former, because I cannot wait for a future at Uni if I can make it.