I've logged on at random times throughout this year thinking to myself, "Maybe I should update?" Obviously until now, then answer has been a frequented "No," however something just kind of ticked today, I suppose. I'm unsure why, after almost a year, I was suddenly compelled to write a new blog entry, and I'm not sure where I want to even go with this. After a year of saying, "This isn't news worthy," on a weekly basis, lookcing back now, it was all pretty big. I've hit extreme highs and extreme lows, and unfotunately, on this bumpy road of life, the lows have been in adaquate abundance.
Everything has come and gone so quickly, like quick jabs, but only in retrospect. Each even took forever to pass, as if time took a break to amplify each and every moment to its grimmist extent. I've watched a life I built for myself crumble beneath my feet and rebuild elsewhere. I've wandered through a barrenous depression begging for help, only for the opposite to be received in its place. Built and rebuilt until finally my house of mud froze in the dead of winter.
I suppose now I will stop dramatizing everything.
It's hard for me to believe that it's already my 6 months since my trip to Japan. It was there that I was happiest. All my bane left far behind me in the States, I was somewhere I wanted to be, with people with which I fell in love. The feeling of having that clean slate, the new beginning I've been begging for, the one I've anxiously awaited, had finally come. For about two weeks I was cured of my misanthropy, and had a restored faith in humanity. I couldn't believe any of it. The people of Japan are the nicest in the entire world, not a single shread of doubt in my mind about it. Everything about Japan was blissful and I realized that I wanted to live there. A beautiful country too. Would you believe that I didn't see a single bit of litter in Tokyo? Kyoto? Anywhere? Well it's true. They're very neat. Their landscape was breathtaking, and their parks were extremely well kept. Absolute bliss.
My new optimism started to break apart upon arrival in Los Angeles though. The people were rude, but it was hard to break my spirit that quickly. However it only took about two weeks in the States to break it all for me as relations with my friends shattered. I had realized that my girlfriend of almost a year and a half was a manic depressive, and knew I could no longer deal with that. Of course, you can't stay friends after a break up anymore, apparently it just "can't be done." Ironically I'm friends again with one of my ex's who had told people after we broke up that I raped her. So... yeah... I guess that just goes to show how forgiving I am. Not to digress, but of course after the break up, all the people we were both friends with, sided with her, despite some claiming to be "neutral." Even one who I've been friends with for 6 years. It was around here that my faith had been broken in humanity. I had been accused of cheating, which was untrue, despite me saying so they chose to believe I was. Naturally, being the insensitive **** I am, after a solid two weeks of hearing this accusation again and again, I just asked the girl out who I had apparently been cheating with anyways. It's funny that they had accused me of cheating with her, considering she was a lesbian. Hahahahaha....
I eventually rebuilt my relationship with two of my other friends, who I'm unsure why I was never best friends with to beforehand, but regardless, Ian, Gooch and now Jamiey are my new family. I spend much time at their apartment, and despite the lack of room, I may possibly move in with them.
You see, around this time last year, my sister, being the dumbass she is, racked up a huge amount of credit card debt. My mother, who's also not so bright, decided it was best for her to move back in to our house. Hell was about to break loose. First, in August... July...? Somewhere around those, after only about 4-5 months of living with her again, my mom moved out, unable to stand my nuisance of a sister. I hate her. She is #1 on my most hated list by a long shot. If you read American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, my thoughts of her are akin to those of Patrick Bateman. I don't think I need to say anymore. Good book by the way.
There has been more fighting with people in my life than need be. Mostly my mother. I cannot wait to be free of her bull****.
Fortunately for my I got accepted into RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology), and their Digital Cinema program none-the-less. For the benefit of the uninformed, RIT is among one of the top 25 colleges in the United States and their Bachelor's of Science in Digital Cinema is one of very few found in the world. Go me. Classes start September 7th and I will be out of this hell hole hopefully a few months beforehand.
And, in other news, my friends and I have decided to substitute our senior trip for Comic-Con. So I'ze be goin' to that! I believe I'm going to cosplay as Vamp from MGS4, which was by far the greatest game ever. (I finally got that PS3, btw.)
The moral of the story is this: I win. End of story. I've done my best, I've tried to be kind in hopes of reciprocated kindness, which of course never happens. I've been taking life's **** for years now and I only have to tread for a few more months through it before I can finally receive my just reward for tolerating it all.
In the words of Wayne Cambell, "It will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine."
-Rabidus
"If I wanted the world to burn, I'd burn it
If I wanted you dead, I'd kill you
If change was in reach, I'd change it
However, given the circumstances,
I'm too perfectly content watching it happen without my interference"
- A little something I wrote
Oh! Post-note, I got a snake! He is a ball python named Ekans and if I wasn't lazy I'd post pictures of him!