Sometimes I'm being serious; other times, I'm trying to be funny. Once in awhile, I even give a direct quote that says what I want to say. But whatever the circumstances, these are some of the things that I've learned from my favourite TV shows...

1. When your landlord blames you for gun battles, bombs and knife fights in your building, tell him that you work for the IRS and he'll understand. (Get Smart)
2. There's always a way to laugh at politicians. (Royal Canadian Air Farce)
3. If the sleeves are too long, they'll ride up with wear. If they're too short, they'll ride down with wear. (Are You Being Served?)
4. The truth is way out there—the strangest explanation will usually be the right one. (The X-Files)
5. Glasses can completely disguise your face and fool even the people who are closest to you. (Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman)
6. Duct tape can do everything. (The Red Green Show)
7. Insanity is just a state of mind. (M*A*S*H)
8. It is often the most serious people whose actions are the silliest. (Pride and Prejudice)
9. The right mix of idealism, cynicism, creativity and sheer boneheadedness can get you as far as you need to go. (The Lone Gunmen)
10. Anything that's bothering you can be attacked (though not necessarily solved) with a well-placed Chicken Cannon. (Royal Canadian Air Farce)
11. Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that they're not out to get you. (The X-Files)
12. Shoes can be incredibly useful pieces of equipment, provided that they don't get dropped or stepped on. (Get Smart)
13. The world will usually never throw anything at you that you can't handle. If your problems are larger than most people's, it's because you can deal with more than most people can—but you'll also have more trouble admitting when you need help to do it. (Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman)
14. Big ears don't necessarily denote a greater capacity for listening and comprehension. (Are You Being Served?)
15. If you can learn to laugh at yourself, you'll be OK. (Pride and Prejudice)
16. If you tell someone not to tell you something, don't be surprised when they tell you anyway. (Get Smart)
17. A little knowledge is an extremely dangerous thing. (The Red Green Show)
18. Even the most high-tech equipment can and will malfunction, often at the worst of times. (The Lone Gunmen and Are You Being Served?)
19. There's no telling what you'll find in the basement, whether you're in a government building or the private residence of a taxidermist/necromancer. (The X-Files)
20. Be careful who you offend. You might find yourself proposing marriage to them someday, and then where would you be? (Pride and Prejudice)