I wonder why Zorro was called "the gay blade."
Could he have done more to the foes that he made?
I wonder why John Lennon had to just die
As that crazy man with the gun rushed past by.
Why do transexuals want to be girls?
Can't think of much else quite so hard in this world.
What if they clone a pig that can fly,
And how many people are currently high?
It would be swell if water were beer,
Men couldn't wait for the rain to get here.
I wonder why cats always land on their feet,
And why is this country still run by elite?
I wonder when E.T.'s will land on this earth
To show all us monsters how much we are worth.
What if a werewolf bolts out from the trees
And inflicts my wife with a fatal disease?
As you go on talking, I just tune you out
And my tired mind starts to wander about,
But you never shut up -- you go on for days,
Leaving me bored and thinking this way...