Disclaimer: I do not hate Gears of War on its own. In fact, I love the game and consider it one of the very best games I've ever played. You can check out my review for my full impressions

Well, there's something about Cliffy B's recent anti-PC attitude that really pisses me off. It's as if his goal in life is to take PC gamers and screw them over, as royally as possible, and then just sit back and spitefully laugh at us with his 360 controller in hand, what with Unreal Tournament 3 lacking some game modes like Bombing Run and... Assault, and of course, the ultra-problematic PC portion of Gears of War, whose sequel we're going to discuss today in our How to Hate Cliffy B c!4ss

So, it all started when I bought Gears of War with my very own hard-earned money. I ran home like one postcard-holding Peter Griffin, smiling and thinking of the moment I put the DVD in the drive and install the game. I got home, I put the DVD in the drive, and I started installation. Two days later, I was ready to play the game.

It was on a Friday. I started the game, and then - I was forced to create a Games For Windows Live account, something that I wanted to do as much as I'd like to put my thing up Celine Dion. Why I need to install and sign into this crappy service to play a single-player game is beyond me. The game even threatened not to save my games. Hehe.
So I create a local account because Live, for some reason, cannot connect to the remote server. Nice work, Microsoft.
Anyways, I start the game, and it is absolutely awesome. The action is smooth and intelligent, the graphics are spectacular, and the controls show absolutely no sign of consolitis.

I reach the gas station fight in act 2, and then my phone rings. It's time to go out and have some Guinness.

On my way home, I feel all but tired, even with around 2.5 litres of Guinness now laying comfortably within the warm embrace of my stomach. I do not want to sleep. I want to do something more awesome, like, I don't know. CHAINSAWING SOME ALIEN BIATCHES TO HELL AND BACK!

When I get home, the only thing I want to do is continue my game in Gears of War. So I start it up, connect to my local account because Live can't connect, and go on about continuing my game. My excitement is comparable to that of a 12-y/o girl meeting Alejandro Singsgaysongsalot from some Spanish musical TV-crap. I press the Continue Campaign button, and... WHAT THE !@#*&?!

I look at the screen with the same shock and terror as when I first saw Cameron Diaz act. I decide to try again. Checking that my Vista, drivers and game are all fully up to date. They are. I start the game again, you know. Never hurts to give a second chance. But NO. I get owned by the game again. So I decide to investigate.

I go to the official Gears of War forums and realize that, for over a year, the developers and MS knew about this problem and, since they couldn't "recreate the problem at home", what they decided was...

So, I see there's nothing I can do, so I disdainfully put the game's nice DVD case back on the shelf and decide not to play it again, as much as I loved it. Saddened and insulted, I started a new game of S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Go and get Gears of War today! Disappointment guaranteed!

At some point during that very day, I find online what seems to be the perfect solution for Gears of War's random save-game deletion. It's proven and working, and what it does is... Disable Games for Windows Live. I reinstalled the game, and once again, two days later I can play it. I apply the patch, and voila! After two more days I beat the final boss. So I realize it's a Games for Windows Live thing and am pissed at Epic for not realizing this and doing what needs to be done for players. Money shmoney deals business my ass, we are what matters, Mr. B.

The right way to get Gears of War

After beating the game, I wanted to check out its online component. So I uninstall the game because Games for Windows Live is disabled, and reinstall it. Again.

For a whole whopping week, I cannot log into Games for Windows Live with my online account. At some point, I manage to do it, but there are pretty few players online, as enjoyable as the game is. At this point I'm really wishing for cross-platform online play at least so there are more players online. Anyways, my hate for Microsoft's online game service is all the more annoying upon knowing that it is to blame for the game's problems.

So this is where Gears of War 2 and Cliffy B come into the picture. Since Epic has done an amazing job of bringing this game to PCs, it's of course all the more distressing that Microsoft's crappy service has ruined it with experise. So, what Epic decides is... not to bring Gears of War 2 to PC. Way to go, fellas, you've made a very, very wrong choice. The only reason that people were prevented from buying this game for PC was its lack of support and show stoppers, not to mention the globally despised Games for Windoes Live.

Damn you, Cliffy. You could just dump Games for Windows Live, or at least make sure it doesn't !@#-up the game prior to release, instead of leaving an entire willing, potentially-paying audience behind in the dark and making them feel cheated. Don't get me wrong, guys, I would happily buy a 360 if it weren't so expensive in Israel, so I can play not only Gears of War 2 but other amazing games that don't show up on PC. But it is overpriced, so much so that I don't even think about saving up for it. Every game reaches the $75-100 mark and that's just a waste of money. The console itself? Around $600-700. That's insane.

There is absolutely no reason why PC gamers should be confronted with problematic isntallations and games to play, and absolutely no reason why their problems shouldn't be fixed nearly two years after release. So yes, Cliffy. Thank you very much for screwing us PC gamers as well as you could. If that's your attitude, then you can rot with your 360 controller and shove as much sand as possible. As awesome as your games are, your attitude ruins everything.

Yay for maturity.