I wasn`t here for so long... It`s been a weird phase in my life, with ending some things and being dissapointed in other... Not so seriously as it was few years ago, but enough to shut down my creativity doors for a while...

Sometimes I work hard on things I`m interested in, interested in such an enthusiastic way, and in the end I go underappreciated... while some people who work not nearly as much as I did, get all the "Thanks"... The complication of its own kind is the fact that I`m personally ok with this person, even pretty close... on her terms, of course. I am amost never close to someone on my own terms.

So I`m stuck in an unsatisfying friendship once and again, but this time it`s more complex and I cannot withdraw as I probably should. And, as usual, I`m not even sure if I want to. The masohism in me is just too strong.

Sorry for this hard-to-understand rant... It`s just one of my sadness-phases...