Why the hell do I have to feel bad about telling things I do. I just want to have fun with friends that I haven't seen is so long. Why is it my problem that you had a thing with that friend. I just want t o chill and have a good time, but no I can't. I can't have a good time with drinking or anything that we do, because I always have to think about what you think and what you feel. I'm getting very depressed about all the things that have been going on and I don't know if I can handle it. I have my problems that I have to deal with, even though they might be has much, but I still have **** that goes through my mind that **** with it and I don't know if I can still handle your **** too. I feel that I can't be the same person around you and I can't listen to the same music without you breaking down. Why can't I have my friend back? I want the one that was fun and chill to hang out with. It kills me that I have to see the person I love go threw this **** and i can't help. I want you to get over the **** that has happened to you so we can have the good times that we had before, but I know that won't happen, since what happened to you is something I have never gone threw. I also want to be able to hangout with the friend(s) that give you the emotional feeling that you get, since they are my friends too and I wish that I didn't feel so bad about doing it. Why can't I just hang out with you or them with out feeling bad? Why did this have to happen? I want things to go back to the way things were. I can't go a day without thinking about the things that WE have gone through. Speaking of that I just listen to Zao- An Angle Without Wings and I couldn't help but cry over the fact of what you did and what I feel about you and What you have said and shown me. I didn't even want to tell you want I was going to do, since I knew what it was going to do to you. See that's what I mean, I just want to be able to talk the **** to you and not feel as if I bring something up that will **** up the night. I just want to be able to say whatever and not seem as if I'm being a ultra-dick. Why can't I bring up movie quotes without you getting all but hurt? Why can't I not buy you beer without you getting all butt hurt out it.




All I want is my friend back.






Why can't I have that?

I really need to get a scanner so I can upload some "drawings" that I've done, but what are some good scanners I could look into getting. Oh and maybe cheap ones too.

Alright, so its Sunday April the 6th. I have just got up from my comotoast state. I turn my computer on. I start going around the internets, and I want to go to Gamespot, but its running so goddamn slow it feels like I'm on a 56K again. Oh and people might say that I should try other sites to see if it isn't my connection.....Well, it's not. Other websites run just fine and load fine while it takes two minutes for Gamespot to load one F#$%ing page.

Argh!! This is just so annoying. I want to be able to go around my unions and see what is new with everyone, but no; I can't since Gamespot is running so slow.

Sorry for my b!tching, I just needed to get it out.