MistressMinako

Friday, Nov 6, 2009

Use me, abuse me, but in the end.... are you going to choose me?

Hey GameSpotters!

I know, I had a blog yesterday. But, this really saddens me.

My friend called to tell me that he lost his boyfriend earlier today. I was really upset, they have been going out for years... and he has been calling me on and off today crying about it. His boyfriend was an all out user, IMO. He got my friend to buy him stuff, move in with him and pay rent for him when he lost his job. The guy was a cheater, a huge cheater... he done it before. My friend was nice enough to let him off the hook once and he did it again. This saddens me.

Another story about users... I had a roomie who was madly in love with some guy on our campus. At first, I thought it was just friends with benefits with them for a while... then she admitted to loving him. I couldn't believe that she told him that she loved him, and he even said it back? She got pregnant, then... he didn't want to have anything to do with her. He called her and made a deal that if she got an abortion, they could work things out. She did, and he didn't keep the promise, really sad because abortions aren't free.

Users. I don't know if I had a blog about it before, but I am going to say it again. Most of us have been used at least once in our lives. In friendship or love, it is really common. The funny thing is, I can spot when someone else is being used.... but I can never spot it when it is happening to myself. We must be strong, not let anyone take over us! We must face the facts that they will never like us/love us.... just use us until we got nothing else and move on to the next person.

I had this case online too, a while back to be exact with a person who calls themselves their friend towards me. Eh, fell for it once again and not anymore. If they want you to do something, tell them to do it theirselves... if they need money, tell them to get a job... If they promised you they will do something for you, tell them to be quiet and show me. Otherwise, they can shut up. Easier said than done... right?

Just don't let your feelings get the best of you... like me or my friends did. They don't like/love you and have the nerve to do this? Guess what? You are better than them and you will be better off without them.

That's all about that.

See you all in the forums!

*MM*

Category: Relationships

Posted by MistressMinako, 9:57pm

27 Comments | Post a Comment

Comments

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soulless4now

I feel depressed after reading this now.

Pro-Life!

Posted Nov 6, 2009 10:06 pm PT

3DayFinisher

I dunno I don't think I've been used. Meh. Haven't really known anyone in that situation either.

Posted Nov 6, 2009 10:12 pm PT

GrandJury

I don't get used and I ain't no users. People who treat their partners like crap make me sick, especially the men who do it to the good woman.

Posted Nov 6, 2009 10:17 pm PT

aryoshi

I know what it feels like being used, and absued. Hope everything goes alright for your friend, he can do better than who he had. There's someone better

Posted Nov 6, 2009 10:45 pm PT

Spotty_Bug

I met my wife more then a decade ago, and we have been married for a decade next year, I have seen friends get married and divorced, friends abused and smacked around. What do you do when you are friends with both people, the abuser and victim, for the line between victim and abuser is not always white and black.
As for users, they are everywhere, they want and want, and provide nothing, I call them roaches, and the best way to deal with them is to kick their butts out ASAP. I had a user in my home, a distant family member, and the havoc that created was....beyond anything I could have imagined back then. Lets just say, when I found out what was actually happening in my own home, I was furious, I had offered room and food, and was paid back by having my home turned into a drug dealing drive through...
Needless to say, the fallout from that was a bit complicated, but I got it sorted out though...
The morale of this story is, trust nobody, anybody can be a user. See user, kick user out.

Posted Nov 6, 2009 11:39 pm PT

JustPlainLucas

I had a beautiful friendship ruined because she used me for emotional support when her boyfriend wasn't around. I guess it wasn't entirely her fault, since I was too weak to abstain. The friendship just couldn't go on anymore, so I had to end it, and I wanted to start over fresh once, but she didn't want it. Now it's been months, but it's because of her using me that makes it hard for me to ever try again.

Posted Nov 6, 2009 11:55 pm PT

Bioshockraptor

That's terrible what has happened. I hate users. lol, not Gamespot users though

. I remember when a friend of mine was using me for my trampolines when I was in grade 3 or 4 though.

Posted Nov 6, 2009 11:55 pm PT

spirit7someguy

OMG yet another anti-friendship rant-__-. I just... dont look at things this way. Its way too frustrating. I've written my opinion in my latest blog. But honestly after reading this I think I'm going to change my mind and say that I would actually rather be heart broken by a friend than to petrify myself into what will later turn me in another run-of-the-mill boring adult who doesnt believe anyone and lives only to eat and sleep

.

Now, affaires... that's a whole other story, which really is bad if ppl get into such mess... I agree...

Posted Nov 7, 2009 12:55 am PT

worthyofnote

Crazy, that it is. We all use and abuse each other in some way, shape, or form. Some just go to greater extents than others.

Posted Nov 7, 2009 2:20 am PT

vgm007

This is one reason why I'm happy not to be in a relationship right now... although healthy relationships are a wonderful thing to have, this ends up happening way too often these days.

Posted Nov 7, 2009 3:31 am PT

MJoanne

When your emotions are involved, it is hard to see that you are being used. That is why you can easily see when others are being used but not when it happens to yourself.

Posted Nov 7, 2009 4:22 am PT

ImaginaryFriend

some people are just predicated to be co-dependent. They need people that need them in order to be fulfilled. However one needs a great deal of self actualization & realization to draw bounderies on that need. If not it is hell.

Posted Nov 7, 2009 4:48 am PT

Wolls

You know your right, its much harder to spot when your being used yourslef. I guess the only thing you can do is tell your friends the truth when you are worried about them and hope they will do the same.
Still i hope this experience has not completely jaded you against trusting people.

Posted Nov 7, 2009 6:13 am PT

rawsavon

That sucks

But the truth of the matter is that people will only get away with that which you will put up with/tolerate.
It is important to have personal standards to which you hold all people in your life accountable to.
-if they do not live up to them, let them know
-if they continue in that behavior, let them go

But probably not best to take advice from one such as myself...I seem to be rather "unique" in my POV...according some users on here

Posted Nov 7, 2009 7:20 am PT

cfamgcn

Yeah, you have to be really careful these days and not let your emotions blind you. ~de arimasu

Posted Nov 7, 2009 7:50 am PT

twilightlullaby

You really gave out some good advice right now. Thanks. I always hated being used but could never really get out of it...'cos I needed the friends/etc. Sort of makes me sad thinking about it...

Posted Nov 7, 2009 9:05 am PT

AudioPrison

Yeah I know how it feels to be used....and man does it hurt! Im the same, I can see when others are getting used but not when its happening to me

I can't win lol

Posted Nov 7, 2009 9:39 am PT

sonic__323

Sad stories you mentioned and this actually happened with one of my friends as well, he had a girlfriend and the first day of his sophmore year, his girlfriend told him that she lied about everything that she said to him and he felt very heartbroken. It's also been a long time since he has not talked to me, the thing I would like to do is to not be in a relationship with a girl till I am a senior in high school or go to college since there is a lot of break ups that happen in my school.

Posted Nov 7, 2009 10:24 am PT

aaronmullan

I can't remember the last time I was abused!

Posted Nov 7, 2009 12:21 pm PT

talonkarrde07

That's sad

Posted Nov 7, 2009 2:41 pm PT

MrLions

But I like people walking over me

Posted Nov 7, 2009 4:22 pm PT

MsJoannaDark

I've been in a relationship with a user.

It hurts to find out that you have been used.

Posted Nov 7, 2009 9:10 pm PT

double_decker

If you actually care for someone, love or otherwise it should be shown with actions, not just words. Actions to me are far more important than words. I've had several girls tell me they loved me over the years, but where are they now? Not with me. I've been used my share of times, but I don't let it get me down anymore. It's their loss not mine, I know I'm a good person, so later on when they are being treated badly I hope they think of me and learn from their mistakes and treat the next nice guy that comes along better than they did me. I'm sorry for your friends heartache, I hope he gets over it soon and finds someone more deserving of his affections and emotions.

Posted Nov 8, 2009 4:35 pm PT

david_lck

They use you for cash, benefits and to gain fame - people who use others certainly are heartless. Its a shame that many people get hurt in the process because they believe and trust them.

Posted Nov 9, 2009 7:07 am PT

pakhair

One awesome blog from you again, Your blog stopped me for a moment and made me think about the horrified experiences of life. The people who use others are spread everywhere and those tyrants relentlessly attack us when we don't know and use us and then throw us away, Like we are some wastage. It always hurts when you know that you have been used; ALWAYS. Thanks for one beautiful blog, Which once again made me think about nightmares that can happen in our life.

Posted Nov 9, 2009 8:29 am PT

HitomiChan

life.. i feel for your friend.

Posted Nov 10, 2009 7:59 am PT

vj02

Yup,it's kind of hard to trust anyone these days. But there are good people too

! I've been dating with my girlfriend for about 5 years. And believe me,there is no room for selfishness in our relationship. I respect her a lot because she has made my life a lot more stable and probably because she is the only person who never tried to take advantage of our relationship. We both financially help each other and most of all we're both happy.

Posted Nov 10, 2009 12:54 pm PT

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