Sorry, but I just had to post these that a friend sent me earlier today.........
IDIOT SIGHTING :
We had to have the garage door repaired.'The Qualified' repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Garrador made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'
We haven't used a 'Qualified' repair man since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the girl a £5 note. Our total was £4.50, so I also handed her a 50p piece.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a £1 back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 50p, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back £1 and 50p in change..
Do not confuse the waitresses at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area near Rackenford. We recently had a new neighbour call the local council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Restaurant and ordered a tomato salad. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged colleague of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a trainee community police officer
IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear colleague. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. 
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it w as unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership.
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... And they VOTE and they REPRODUCE