My grandfather had a heart attack Tuesday afternoon, but is starting to recover. When I heard about it, they'd already put in the stints and gotten the blood flowing through his heart. I thought he was in the clear. Unfortunately, due to some preexisting conditions, he's got all sorts of complications that require him to still be in the ICU, probably until Monday. I've been up at the hospital all day the last few days only coming home to sleep, but things are a lot easier now that we *think* its a question of when he'll recover, rather than if. And its easier visiting now that he's not disoriented, and not fighting us on semi painful procedures intended to save his life. At this point, pretty much all news is good news, but for awhile I was getting so worked up about new developments I didn't know what to do. This was compounded by the fact that I had to get every piece of bad news explained to me by the staff so I knew how serious it actually was. A couple of upper level biology classes would have saved me a lot of distress. Its quite an emotional shift going from thinking about what I want to say to him before he passes away if it gets to that point, to joking around with my family and starting to relax a little bit now that his doctor is talking about full recovery and him working with a physical therapist.

As selfish as this is, I want him around to see me graduate college and get a job. I actually lived with my grandparents for most of my childhood, and have an immense respect for the sacrifices they made to help give me opportunities I wouldn't have had otherwise. I want him to see me finish growing up and see the product of his labor.

Also, I have a newfound respect for everyone involved in hospital work, from the physicians down to the staff. I've realized how relatively ridiculous it is to say that Lebron James thrives under "pressure" when there are surgeons with sharp objects that could kill a critical pateint if moved too far to the left by 1/4 of an inch. That's pressure. And the staff who may not be capable of heart surgery are brave as well. I've witnessed 3 families so far receive the news of their loved one passing, and its torn me up. I can't imagine having to do it almost every single day.

Please keep my family and I in your prayers. (Or thoughts if that's not your thing.) It's been a long week, but I think there's light at the end of the tunnel.