I watched Twilight.
I had some time to kill, so this is my review. It contains spoilers so don’t read if you are planning to watch it!!!

Something crappy this way comes.
What a snooze fest! Get a pillow for falling...
[+] Read Full Review

I watched Twilight.
I had some time to kill, so this is my review. It contains spoilers so don’t read if you are planning to watch it!!!

Something crappy this way comes.
What a snooze fest! Get a pillow for falling asleep (and a bucket for potential vomiting) This abomination of a teenage TV-pilot drama-like, is a great snooze fest. The actors are so bad they made my teeth hurt. The story is so incredibly juvenile and preposterously tedious, it makes me want to find those responsible pull down their pants and give them a good spanking. There are long pointless scenes of nothing happening. The story and dialogues are so badly written one has to drop their IQ to squid level to be able to follow. I dozed off here and there, and when I was awake I was either angry or annoyed. The writing insults the viewers intelligence and the terrible acting makes you wonder …
There were though some good aspects. I have to be honest. The fact that the vampires do not turn into hideous monsters under the sun (and die a screaming death) was quite refreshing; I really liked the glittering scene - Perhaps the only beautiful scene throughout the whole film - And the idea of all the extra individual abilities was also a nice touch. I give one point to that. Then the fact that they didn’t show a single fang was a real good thing!!! I mean the movie was ridiculous already, if they would add the typical growling vampire-grimace showing off Halloween-fangs, it would be a comedy. The fang showing factor is one thing that always bothers me in vampire movies. (It is the only thing that turns me off with True Blood for example.) So I have to acknowledge that and give them one more point. And I will give it one more point for good photography.
So other than these three pluses, the rest of the film is totally pathetic. It is a teenage drama for pre-teens. The love story is so ridiculous I don’t know where to begin. It is so exaggerated, it dances on a very small thread between bad drama and comedy. I have to say I laughed many times during painfully long - to kiss or not to kiss - scenes. A wannabe powerful love story turn to sentimental diarrhea.
And what is it with the Dawson’s Creek alike, vampire family? They all looked and acted like a deeply religious Goody Two-Shoes family. The cooking scene was so unintentionally funny, yet disturbing, I didn’t know if I should laugh or ask for my money back.
I give it 3 out of 10 … (well in movietom scale 1 tunrs to half so here I give it one and a half out of 5)

You know how they say that where there is smoke there’s bound to be fire? Well, sometimes it is just some moron smoking ...
I went to the movie theatre with the best mood ever. I was happy, I had just eaten a nice meal, I had my soda...
[+] Read Full Review

You know how they say that where there is smoke there’s bound to be fire? Well, sometimes it is just some moron smoking ...
I went to the movie theatre with the best mood ever. I was happy, I had just eaten a nice meal, I had my soda (no noisy food of course), I had the best seat and I was in one of the best theatre rooms the city has to offer. So there I was, waiting a few moments more to see the best movie ever made. That is what I was thinking, that I went to see the most thrilling, clever, funny, serious, and deep movie ever made. I went to see spectacular performances, incredible gadgets, smart weapons and lots of witty dialogues. I WAS waiting after all for 3 full years to see this movie!!! All I got ... was a 7
The Dark Knight was a bit of a snoozer. All this wait for this? All this anticipation for that? All those numbers for THAT? It was as good as Superman Returns and as boring as Spiderman II .
Well don’t get me wrong. It is a good movie. It has spectacular moments, it has good actors and an interesting villain. But, there were long periods of time were I was literally falling asleep with my eyes open. Some moments were frightfully boring.
Another thing, story wise, this Joker had little to do with The Joker in the comics. The real Joker wears no make up, he is deformed, his skin is bleached after an accident with chemicals. The Joker commits crimes with countless "comedic" weapons , which very little we saw in this film. Well this was a fine version, but I prefer the story in the comics so I would preferred it if they’d stick to it. Though they kept certain aspects of The Joker, like for example the fact that “he was lying so often about his former life that he himself is confused as to what actually happened� I would love to have a bit more of that. The Joker has some really smart and interesting stories about his past. In The Killing Joke especially.
"Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... if I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!" But anyway, this was not the problem with this movie. This is just an observation and a personal preference. There were other aspects that made this a good movie but definitely NOT a masterpiece. Heath Ledger , may he rest in peace, was good but not spectacular! Most actors could pull this part through (unless it was Keanu Reeves lol) And even if I accept him as The Joker I still prefer Jack Nicholson for this part, an actor with more experience and class. Christian Bale looked as if he was bored through the entire movie. He was grey through and through. Plus his voice annoyed me a bit. I got used to it but it was rather ridiculous. Something between Barry White and a lesbian truck driver. (for the record, I have no issues with Mr Barry White or lesbian truck drivers, as long as they don’t try to imitate Batman)
There was no depth in the story and the moral meanings were a dash tedious. But there were as I said spectacular moments. Mostly visual though. The scene where the batmobile transforms was unfortunately the only clever “gadget moment�. I was excepting much more. This is batman after all and since he has no superpowers this is what we all expect from him, clever gadgets. Well there was not much of that.
There were too many long chasing scenes, which made the movie seem too long. And when one feels that a movie is too long, most of the times it means it is rather boring.
I am now convinced that the whole racket about this movie had to do with Heath Ledger's death. Otherwise, there is NO explanation why this movie is on top in IMDB . I find it offensive and sacrilegious for this movie to be on top of The Godfather and The Shawshank Redemption . I find it offensive even seeing it on top of Batman Begins , which, for my humble opinion, is the best superhero movie ever made. And after that is X-Men and then X-Men II . The Dark Knight is just a good movie. In a scale from 1 to 10 It is a hard solid 7. No more , no less...

This movie is a marvel!!! It is a visual orgy of beauty; and the core of Burton’s soul is embedded on the film. It is most probably the most beautiful film I have ever seen. The music and script, which is based on the original Broadway...
[+] Read Full Review

This movie is a marvel!!! It is a visual orgy of beauty; and the core of Burton’s soul is embedded on the film. It is most probably the most beautiful film I have ever seen. The music and script, which is based on the original Broadway play, (John Logan screenplay and Stephen Sondheim musical) is at times brilliant and at times a little corky; and this is just about the only negative thing I can say about this masterpiece. The film is more like an operetta than a musical. I loved evil Johnny!!! He can offer so much as a villain, I really hope to see him in more films like this. The make up and clothes are taken right out of my darkest dreams. Johnny and Helena , who have previously worked together in Tim Burton’s “Corpse Bride� look like they jumped right out from their “Corpse Bride� animated characters and took human form. They were both an absolute pleasure to watch. I left the theatre with a smile on my face and a “blue� in my soul. Mr Burton did it again. He has bewitched me. Mr Tim, I love you I love you I love you!!!
And for those who frown on the idea of watching a musical … Think again. I’ll tell you only this: “Nightmare before Christmas�, “Corpse Bride�, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory�. All musicals! All remarkable!
Plus, don’t forget one of the best movies of all times “The Rocky Horror Picture Show� ;)
Sweeney Todd is a masterpiece. The Photography is ridiculously good. The sets are out of this world, the camera work is ingenious the editing is excellent and the direction of this film is done by a deity! I am going to watch it over and over and over again . . .

“Bubba Ho-tep� is a the smartest, funniest, most moving, most unique, most heartbreaking Horror\Comedy I've ever seen. The camera work is ingenious, almost poetic! The photography is very Coen Brothers “Barton...
[+] Read Full Review

“Bubba Ho-tep� is a the smartest, funniest, most moving, most unique, most heartbreaking Horror\Comedy I've ever seen. The camera work is ingenious, almost poetic! The photography is very Coen Brothers “Barton Fink�-like. The story is very smart and unique. Though painfully ridiculous at times, it is an extremely interesting and smart idea. The feelings may move from side to side. At some point I got watery eyes (that's the closest I get to crying in movies) and at times I laughed so hard till I thought I dropped a kidney. In this movie you see Bruce Campbell, in his best part EVER, finally acting! Bravo to Don Coscarelli for his first good movie! I can't wait for “Bubba Nosferatu and the Curse of the She-Vampires� coming in 2008

Comparing to “El laberinto del fauno�, “El Espinazo del diablo� is as depressing. But it has some sort of closure which Laberinto doesn’t.

Marisa Paredes´ appearance is as always...
[+] Read Full Review

Comparing to “El laberinto del fauno�, “El Espinazo del diablo� is as depressing. But it has some sort of closure which Laberinto doesn’t.

Marisa Paredes´ appearance is as always grandiose!
The kids - all of them - are so good it is disgusting!
Eduardo Noriega apart from a good actor is also so . . . he is . . . so . . . ehhm!!!
Federico Luppi (who is also the King, in “El Laberinto del fauno�, is very touching. The sort of bloke you want to have for grandpa.
Pretty movie! And of course sad! Almodovar produced this one and you can defiantly see, smell and taste his touch!
The photography is filthily impressive. The effects really nice made without exaggerations and over-computerised **** As for realism, well, there is an ankle-breaking scene that has scared me for life!

MUST SEE MUST SEE MUST SEE!

Oh what a beautiful film!
I loved watching every single moment of it! The sets, the costumes, the music, the photography, the effects, the atmosphere, everything was perfect!!!
The fantasy world of a child who escapes reality has the...
[+] Read Full Review

Oh what a beautiful film!
I loved watching every single moment of it! The sets, the costumes, the music, the photography, the effects, the atmosphere, everything was perfect!!!
The fantasy world of a child who escapes reality has the most beautiful moments. The way a child can escape incomprehensible cruelty, makes the viewer feel an immense sadness but at the same time relief. Anyone who had a tough childhood can more or less relate to the young heroin of this film. Very good job by Mr Guillermo del Toro!!!

To some, a prison drama might not strike as an entertaining movie. But this one holds such an emotional power.
A brilliant script with excellent dialogues, a great cast and a really beautiful job in photography.
Based on a Stephen...
[+] Read Full Review

To some, a prison drama might not strike as an entertaining movie. But this one holds such an emotional power.
A brilliant script with excellent dialogues, a great cast and a really beautiful job in photography.
Based on a Stephen King's novel, "Shawshank Redemption" keeps you interested from first scene to last. The opening scene is a sequence with Andy's trial interacting with his actions on the night of the crime. It eventually leads to him being taken to Shawshank with one of the most brilliant shots, with the camera sweeping from behind the prison bus in the air and diving into the middle of the prison yard. One more long film that you don't want it to end. I haven't had such a great time with a prison drama ever since I was 11 and my father took me to a summer theatre, were they used to play old films, there we saw Franklin J. Schaffner's "Papillon" (The movie based on "Henri Chariere's" autobiography novel). One of the greatest films in the history of cinema! With incredible performances by Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman . . . . . . but . . . that is another story for another review . . . ;)

After seeing this I was certain that Mr Stephen King suffers from Bipolar or multiple personality disorder, because I cannot explain how can he sometimes write and\or adapt MASTERPIECES and sometimes he writes and\or adapts JUNK!

...
[+] Read Full Review

After seeing this I was certain that Mr Stephen King suffers from Bipolar or multiple personality disorder, because I cannot explain how can he sometimes write and\or adapt MASTERPIECES and sometimes he writes and\or adapts JUNK!

Stephen King's take on the masterpiece series by Lars von Trier is a disaster!!!! It starts off very good but slowly though steadily it turns into a pile of feces. Why would he want to take a perfect story and turn it into **** it's beyond me!!! Those who haven't seen the original - and get easily impressed - might think that this is a good attempt. The truth though is . . . he just took a diamond, pissed all over it, smashed it into smithereens and threw it in the cesspool. Thank you for stealing and destroying something beautiful Stephen.

People might think that this is another prison film. Well, it is not. It has the Shawshank Redemption feeling but it has the paranormal touch to it so that makes it a whole different movie. Despite the 3 hour plus running time, it is fast paced...
[+] Read Full Review

People might think that this is another prison film. Well, it is not. It has the Shawshank Redemption feeling but it has the paranormal touch to it so that makes it a whole different movie. Despite the 3 hour plus running time, it is fast paced and never dull, the story and characters get your interest so much that you don’t feel the time.
It is rare when a movie forces the viewer to suspend disbelief; The Green Mile is one of these movies. It is about some unbelievable events, yet the acting is very believable. This all-star cast of veteran actors puts together one of the most notable, moving, and realistic performances.

Two of my favorite girls in one of my favorite movies. Stephen surprises me from time to time. He writes junk after junk after junk, up to the point you start wondering why in Jupiter's name is he one of your favorite American thriller writers . ....
[+] Read Full Review

Two of my favorite girls in one of my favorite movies. Stephen surprises me from time to time. He writes junk after junk after junk, up to the point you start wondering why in Jupiter's name is he one of your favorite American thriller writers . . . and then POP . . . up appears a diamond! Dolores Claiborne is a diamond!!!!
Unlike most Stephen King's tales, Dolores Claiborne is not a horror film, yet it still manages to have terrifying and unsettling undertones that will satisfy anyone looking for a sharply made character analysis.
This film manages to pull off three character and each one has something uniquely distressing to add to the ominous atmosphere of the story.
Brilliant acting with captivating characters and intelligent dialogues. The plot smoothly develops towards the eventual, horrifying conclusion. One of Stephen King's darkest stories and one of the very best!

"Misery" is definitely one of my favorite movies of all times!!!
"Misery" captures the viewer from the very beginning and up until the explosive ending, you find yourself cheering for Paul and fearing Annie. Annie's mood...
[+] Read Full Review

"Misery" is definitely one of my favorite movies of all times!!!
"Misery" captures the viewer from the very beginning and up until the explosive ending, you find yourself cheering for Paul and fearing Annie. Annie's mood swings keep you on your toes 'till the very end because from the beginning you know very well what she is capable of doing.
After seeing this film Kathy Bates will certainly become one of your favourite villains! The dialogues are very witty with a cynical yet gentle sense of humour. If you loved the movie you MUST read the book, the book brings you so much more, at times the 3rd person descriptions are chillingly vivid with very gory references to torture. You get to read the book that Annie is forcing Paul to write. Paul’s “Thousand and one nights�. Each chapter a story that makes Annie happy and puts off the torture for a while. The book within a book concept is brilliant! Plus in the end she is coming back one more time before she really dies . . .
However, this is one of the rare times that the film stands almost even by the book. I rate the book 11 out of 10 and I rate the movie 10 out of 10!

You have to be under the influence of really heavy sedatives in order to get through this . . . thing. It is nauseating, hideous, revolting, sexist, racist, unintelligent, ridiculous, tedious and cheap. I didn’t get offended, I got angry....
[+] Read Full Review

You have to be under the influence of really heavy sedatives in order to get through this . . . thing. It is nauseating, hideous, revolting, sexist, racist, unintelligent, ridiculous, tedious and cheap. I didn’t get offended, I got angry. I got angry because I put myself through this ordeal, because if there is something I loathe in this world is the low-class, unintelligent, illiterate, obese, hairy, boorish “humor�. A sorry excuse of mammals walking around naked in frond of a camera, making moronic comments about women and making idiotic jokes that only a complete imbecile would find funny. Borat is the saddest moment in the history of film. It is “pure� trash! Think of how many hungry we could feed with the money they spent to make this turd of a product!

You have to be under the influence of really heavy sedatives in order to get through this . . . thing. It is nauseating, hideous, revolting, sexist, racist, unintelligent, ridiculous, tedious and cheap. I didn't get offended, I got angry. I got...
[+] Read Full Review

You have to be under the influence of really heavy sedatives in order to get through this . . . thing. It is nauseating, hideous, revolting, sexist, racist, unintelligent, ridiculous, tedious and cheap. I didn't get offended, I got angry. I got angry because I put myself through this ordeal, because if there is something I loathe in this world is the low-class, unintelligent, illiterate, obese, hairy, boorish "humor". A sorry excuse of mammals walking around naked in frond of a camera, making moronic comments about women and making idiotic jokes that only a complete imbecile would find funny. Borat is the saddest moment in the history of film. It is "pure" trash! Think of how many hungry we could feed with the money they spent to make this turd of a product!

**** is a documentary about the use of profanity in public. Is it bad or good, or are you indifferent to it?

Well, it is funny at times, though this is not the point here, because it is supposed to be political rather than funny....
[+] Read Full Review

**** is a documentary about the use of profanity in public. Is it bad or good, or are you indifferent to it?

Well, it is funny at times, though this is not the point here, because it is supposed to be political rather than funny. However, the people who have been chosen to be interviewed in this film are not the most appealing or serious-minded. A couple of porn stars, a few second class comedians, a rapper, a mediocre pop star, a tattooed hoodlum metal head and a bunch of questionable (and most probably insane ) personalities in the opposition, are just not enough to make a political statement about freedom of speech. I agree with almost everything they had to say but I just can't listen to a hooker speak and take her seriously. Most people would say: "I would most definitely f*ck the hooker but not listen to her opinion". My point is, you just CANNOT make a f*****g point - and expect to be taken seriously - when you are using people that the majority can not identify with. How on earth am I going to get through to the hardcore religious close minded middle Americans when I'm trying to convince them that it is my RIGHT to say whatever I want by showing them PORN and a bunch of thugs blabber?!?! In the end, the only thing that this documentary does is amuse those who already agree with using the word f*ck in public and infuriate those who do not.

Exposing the hypocrisy of the conservatives and the FCC though is interesting enough. So yes, watch this movie. In a scale from 1 to 10 it gets a hard f*****g 7 from me.

What comes across so menacing in this film (as in most Polanski films) is the unique feeling of paranoia that taints this film from the very beginning. A great chiller that keeps you intrigued as well as somewhat disoriented about the main...
[+] Read Full Review

What comes across so menacing in this film (as in most Polanski films) is the unique feeling of paranoia that taints this film from the very beginning. A great chiller that keeps you intrigued as well as somewhat disoriented about the main character's (played by Roman Polanski himself) bizarre transformation after having moved to this notorious apartment.