I watched Twilight.
I had some time to kill, so this is my review. It contains spoilers so don’t read if you are planning to watch it!!!

Something crappy this way comes.
What a snooze fest! Get a pillow for falling...
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I watched Twilight.
I had some time to kill, so this is my review. It contains spoilers so don’t read if you are planning to watch it!!!

Something crappy this way comes.
What a snooze fest! Get a pillow for falling asleep (and a bucket for potential vomiting) This abomination of a teenage TV-pilot drama-like, is a great snooze fest. The actors are so bad they made my teeth hurt. The story is so incredibly juvenile and preposterously tedious, it makes me want to find those responsible pull down their pants and give them a good spanking. There are long pointless scenes of nothing happening. The story and dialogues are so badly written one has to drop their IQ to squid level to be able to follow. I dozed off here and there, and when I was awake I was either angry or annoyed. The writing insults the viewers intelligence and the terrible acting makes you wonder …
There were though some good aspects. I have to be honest. The fact that the vampires do not turn into hideous monsters under the sun (and die a screaming death) was quite refreshing; I really liked the glittering scene - Perhaps the only beautiful scene throughout the whole film - And the idea of all the extra individual abilities was also a nice touch. I give one point to that. Then the fact that they didn’t show a single fang was a real good thing!!! I mean the movie was ridiculous already, if they would add the typical growling vampire-grimace showing off Halloween-fangs, it would be a comedy. The fang showing factor is one thing that always bothers me in vampire movies. (It is the only thing that turns me off with True Blood for example.) So I have to acknowledge that and give them one more point. And I will give it one more point for good photography.
So other than these three pluses, the rest of the film is totally pathetic. It is a teenage drama for pre-teens. The love story is so ridiculous I don’t know where to begin. It is so exaggerated, it dances on a very small thread between bad drama and comedy. I have to say I laughed many times during painfully long - to kiss or not to kiss - scenes. A wannabe powerful love story turn to sentimental diarrhea.
And what is it with the Dawson’s Creek alike, vampire family? They all looked and acted like a deeply religious Goody Two-Shoes family. The cooking scene was so unintentionally funny, yet disturbing, I didn’t know if I should laugh or ask for my money back.
I give it 3 out of 10 … (well in movietom scale 1 tunrs to half so here I give it one and a half out of 5)

You know how they say that where there is smoke there’s bound to be fire? Well, sometimes it is just some moron smoking ...
I went to the movie theatre with the best mood ever. I was happy, I had just eaten a nice meal, I had my soda...
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You know how they say that where there is smoke there’s bound to be fire? Well, sometimes it is just some moron smoking ...
I went to the movie theatre with the best mood ever. I was happy, I had just eaten a nice meal, I had my soda (no noisy food of course), I had the best seat and I was in one of the best theatre rooms the city has to offer. So there I was, waiting a few moments more to see the best movie ever made. That is what I was thinking, that I went to see the most thrilling, clever, funny, serious, and deep movie ever made. I went to see spectacular performances, incredible gadgets, smart weapons and lots of witty dialogues. I WAS waiting after all for 3 full years to see this movie!!! All I got ... was a 7
The Dark Knight was a bit of a snoozer. All this wait for this? All this anticipation for that? All those numbers for THAT? It was as good as Superman Returns and as boring as Spiderman II .
Well don’t get me wrong. It is a good movie. It has spectacular moments, it has good actors and an interesting villain. But, there were long periods of time were I was literally falling asleep with my eyes open. Some moments were frightfully boring.
Another thing, story wise, this Joker had little to do with The Joker in the comics. The real Joker wears no make up, he is deformed, his skin is bleached after an accident with chemicals. The Joker commits crimes with countless "comedic" weapons , which very little we saw in this film. Well this was a fine version, but I prefer the story in the comics so I would preferred it if they’d stick to it. Though they kept certain aspects of The Joker, like for example the fact that “he was lying so often about his former life that he himself is confused as to what actually happened� I would love to have a bit more of that. The Joker has some really smart and interesting stories about his past. In The Killing Joke especially.
"Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... if I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!" But anyway, this was not the problem with this movie. This is just an observation and a personal preference. There were other aspects that made this a good movie but definitely NOT a masterpiece. Heath Ledger , may he rest in peace, was good but not spectacular! Most actors could pull this part through (unless it was Keanu Reeves lol) And even if I accept him as The Joker I still prefer Jack Nicholson for this part, an actor with more experience and class. Christian Bale looked as if he was bored through the entire movie. He was grey through and through. Plus his voice annoyed me a bit. I got used to it but it was rather ridiculous. Something between Barry White and a lesbian truck driver. (for the record, I have no issues with Mr Barry White or lesbian truck drivers, as long as they don’t try to imitate Batman)
There was no depth in the story and the moral meanings were a dash tedious. But there were as I said spectacular moments. Mostly visual though. The scene where the batmobile transforms was unfortunately the only clever “gadget moment�. I was excepting much more. This is batman after all and since he has no superpowers this is what we all expect from him, clever gadgets. Well there was not much of that.
There were too many long chasing scenes, which made the movie seem too long. And when one feels that a movie is too long, most of the times it means it is rather boring.
I am now convinced that the whole racket about this movie had to do with Heath Ledger's death. Otherwise, there is NO explanation why this movie is on top in IMDB . I find it offensive and sacrilegious for this movie to be on top of The Godfather and The Shawshank Redemption . I find it offensive even seeing it on top of Batman Begins , which, for my humble opinion, is the best superhero movie ever made. And after that is X-Men and then X-Men II . The Dark Knight is just a good movie. In a scale from 1 to 10 It is a hard solid 7. No more , no less...

This movie is a marvel!!! It is a visual orgy of beauty; and the core of Burton’s soul is embedded on the film. It is most probably the most beautiful film I have ever seen. The music and script, which is based on the original Broadway...
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This movie is a marvel!!! It is a visual orgy of beauty; and the core of Burton’s soul is embedded on the film. It is most probably the most beautiful film I have ever seen. The music and script, which is based on the original Broadway play, (John Logan screenplay and Stephen Sondheim musical) is at times brilliant and at times a little corky; and this is just about the only negative thing I can say about this masterpiece. The film is more like an operetta than a musical. I loved evil Johnny!!! He can offer so much as a villain, I really hope to see him in more films like this. The make up and clothes are taken right out of my darkest dreams. Johnny and Helena , who have previously worked together in Tim Burton’s “Corpse Bride� look like they jumped right out from their “Corpse Bride� animated characters and took human form. They were both an absolute pleasure to watch. I left the theatre with a smile on my face and a “blue� in my soul. Mr Burton did it again. He has bewitched me. Mr Tim, I love you I love you I love you!!!
And for those who frown on the idea of watching a musical … Think again. I’ll tell you only this: “Nightmare before Christmas�, “Corpse Bride�, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory�. All musicals! All remarkable!
Plus, don’t forget one of the best movies of all times “The Rocky Horror Picture Show� ;)
Sweeney Todd is a masterpiece. The Photography is ridiculously good. The sets are out of this world, the camera work is ingenious the editing is excellent and the direction of this film is done by a deity! I am going to watch it over and over and over again . . .

“Bubba Ho-tep� is a the smartest, funniest, most moving, most unique, most heartbreaking Horror\Comedy I've ever seen. The camera work is ingenious, almost poetic! The photography is very Coen Brothers “Barton...
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“Bubba Ho-tep� is a the smartest, funniest, most moving, most unique, most heartbreaking Horror\Comedy I've ever seen. The camera work is ingenious, almost poetic! The photography is very Coen Brothers “Barton Fink�-like. The story is very smart and unique. Though painfully ridiculous at times, it is an extremely interesting and smart idea. The feelings may move from side to side. At some point I got watery eyes (that's the closest I get to crying in movies) and at times I laughed so hard till I thought I dropped a kidney. In this movie you see Bruce Campbell, in his best part EVER, finally acting! Bravo to Don Coscarelli for his first good movie! I can't wait for “Bubba Nosferatu and the Curse of the She-Vampires� coming in 2008