hoooba oga oga gaba!
Wednesday, Feb 7, 2007
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I' ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss hav e the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bull Crap might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there!
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird
lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually t hawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
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Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who Crap's on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of the Crap is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep Crap , it's best to keep your mouth shut!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I' ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss hav e the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bull Crap might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there!
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird
lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually t hawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
--------------------------------------------------
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who Crap's on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of the Crap is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep Crap , it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Friday, Dec 22, 2006
I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment,
then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold,
my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said , "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is:
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Always keep your condoms in your car!
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment,
then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold,
my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said , "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is:
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Always keep your condoms in your car!
Monday, Jun 26, 2006
I wont say my true reaction for this game because i know i will got modded for racial slurs and offensive language for it, remind me of how much i hate Serie A which is thing like this a re pretty common in there but in international level this kind of thing is totaly unacceptable. The whole point is im glad that Italia didn't beat us by outskill us, we are literaly playing on the same level as them with good attacking football. but lack of seriousness and the "want" for a goal hold us back, even our numerical adavntage cant help us. Australia play better when they one goal behind, they need a kick start for their mental power. We did good and we're come soo close, victory almost at our hand,Oh well i hope we can do better in 2010 Guus Hiddink for the manager!!
On the other news i went to the Psychiatrist apparantly they said i got diagnosed with these two things:
Childhood trauma; didnt suprise me really, considering well i grew up in a place that i see too many people died, but yeah lets not go there.
Mild Clinical Depression; this one actually caught me off guard i mean, what?! me suffer from depression? i mean im probably the most optimistic person you'll ever find
. But they said it was actually a chain reaction from the childhood trauma.But these two wont affect much in my daily life and personality im still the same person as i was before
They said i just nee to slow down with things a bit and try to find a time to relax And last week, i got back in touch again with my long lost childhood friend, we havent seeing each other for 11 years, and of course thing has change lot between us, it was nice we talked about when we were young and the world still seems really nice to us
and *ahem* yea she's suprisingly attractive too now *ahem* so yea <_<.... Last night she catched a plane back to Netherland. It was nice when you find some of your old friends see what they've been up to etcAnd i started get back again in my daily tae kwon do routine, they asked me if i want to get into tourney but i refused, dont want to got too serious with things right now
Oh and other good news i quit smoking! Finally i did it!! Just see how long this one will last i hope for my entire life though 
Oh and i bought several CD's in the last few weeks
Thievery Coporation - The Cosmic Game
Her Space Holiday - Home is where you hang yourself
Mission of Burma - The Obliterati
Slint - Spiderland
The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
Various Artist - Om Lounge VOL 1
^____^
Ohh and im seeing my fav bands, Mogwai in July!!! Cant wait im soo excited!!
Carry on peeps >_>
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