STOP ASKING FOR GAMES

Oh dear LORD it's thread after thread asking "what game should I get?". No, that's a good day, usually what it is some sort of broken monosyllabic utterance like "wut game iz gud?"

Now that the fatman is on the way there's even more of these threads asking what games they should ask for Christmas.

Stop it, stop asking for games
I don't care, no one cares
All you're doing is showing that you have NO BUSINESS PLAYING GAMES.

You're on a gaming site with literally hundreds of thousands of pieces of literature on games of all sorts. Every single possible game you can think of has some sort of notation here. Go look it up.

Now someone is going to say "well what about my economic status?" Yeah terrific, watch me break this down...

YOU'RE POOR: Since you can't get a game whenever you want don't trust strangers to make the choice for you. Go do the research so you'll get the game you want since you'll be stuck with it for a while.

YOU'RE RICH: It doesn't matter if you like the game or not. Enjoy what you can out of it then go grab another.

Now if you fall in between these two (WHICH EVERYONE DOES) then there is not one single reason to ask for a game.

I've had people personally ask me about games. I have a friend (who will remain nameless so he's not associated with a jerk) who knows my taste and history with certain franchises and companies and asked my advice on some games. He broke down each game with their pros and cons and offered a very intelligent conversation between the games.

That's fine. That's the way it should be done. He didn't just create a thread asking "What games are good?"

Also, back on the threads people make, here's two all time favorites...

"What games are good and don't say Mario" or "What's a good game and no Halo plz"

Do you not want any Mario games because you already have them all and want something different? Do you not like platformers and that's why you said that? Do you just not like THAT kind of platformer?

Same with Halo, do you have it, do you like the genre and just not the franchise or do you hate it altogether?

If you need to ask such vague questions then you have no business gaming. This hobby is not for you. What's more your speed is the library. Lots of books there and you can flip through anything you want before you take it home.

Go do your own research or get out of gaming, stop bothering everyone else with your inability to work your hobby.

Never date a gamer, gamers are the worst possible people you could date.
You always hear gamers say "Oh I wish I could find a girl/guy who was a gamer".
Oh no you don't, that is your worst nightmare.  

Why are gamers so awful, well let's start with the hardware and software you'll need in a relationship with a gamer...  

2 television sets: You're gamers so the standard 20 inch tube set wont work. So be prepared to buy 2 LCD sets that range from the bedroom size of 40 inches to a living room of 60 or more. All playing together will be online because neither one will share TV space for split screen. You'll each have your own TV for your gaming, and they better be close in specs or one will always be complaining.

2 of every console. Have a Wii? Well then you have two. Can't wait for the XBOX 720? Well the two 360's is an interesting way to do it. You'll need 2 consoles so you can play...

2 of every title. When a new game comes out you're both going to want to play it. That means 2 Fables, 2 Little Big Planets, 2 Mario Galaxies. No one is going to wait until the other one is done with it.

One heck of a broadband service. No wimpy DSL or cable service. We're talking Verizon FIOS or higher so both consoles are able to download all the patches and demos you need without slowing down the other person too much.   

That's just the hardware side of things, let's also get into the other aspect of the relationship...  

You can't talk about almost all of the games you're playing because you don't want to spoil it for the other person. That means any part of the 60 hours you've logged on Fallout? Mum's the word! Unlock the secret mystery in Fable? Zip it!  

You can't even ask each other for help because it spoils something for the other person.  

So great job, now you're unable to talk about your hobby completely  

Dating a gamer may look good on the surface but in the end it's a costly and complicated relationship that leaves no one the winner.

With it being Sunday and all sometimes the thoughts drift into religion.

Today I'm wondering if Jesus Christ is still a carpenter plus what else is he doing these days?

Back in the day a carpenter was a high tech job. So when Jesus Christ was doing it you knew he was a capable guy doing a job that needed smarts and skill. When you asked Jesus Christ to make a desk for you he didn't open a box and put together the pre arranged pieces. He measured and cut and sanded everything himself.

Is he still doing it today?
I understand that he died for our sins but does that include being under the worst glass ceiling in history?

With all the people always getting an invite upstairs he must always be learning new things. Maybe he even goes back to school every once and a while. He wouldn't be a teacher though because that's too easy a job that doesn't even have a year long commitment. Whatever Jesus Christ picks it would be a career where you have to be trustworthy and would need long term dedication.

Maybe Jesus Christ is doing IT work these days. He's in charge of a giant network and he fixes everything that glitches up the lines. People send him requests and he has to help them with their problems.

Also, if we're on the subject of Jesus Christ doing new things don't you think he's sick of the music by now?

For centuries he's heard songs like "Oh Jesus Christ walk on water" "Died for our sins" "Up on the cross" I always imagine that when he hears these songs he's yelling down "Great, I walked on water...........two thousand years ago! I took up golf, anyone want to sing about that? Not only is my handicap a 3 but I cured 3 handicaps on the way to the 7th hole last weekend. Nope, don't want to disturb you, you just sing the 20,000th song about me hopping across the pond"

Plus, don't you think the cross bothers him?
Do this, imagine your favorite grandmother. Now imagine that grandmother died by slipping on a bath mat and hitting her head on the toilet. When she died you went out and had a charm made of your grandmother laying prone on that bath mat with the toilet. You think your family is going to love your new jewelry? Way to do Nana proud?

What happens if Jesus Christ runs into someone with a cross on the street on his way to pick up his dry cleaning? He just looks at them puzzled for a sec then says "Hey, I don't want to be rude but you know that I died on one of those right? I mean they NAILED me to it and they tortured me until I died. It was pretty well known and I'm just wondering why you're wearing that?"

It's gotta be a sore spot.

When I think Jesus Christ I don't think about a guy who did things in the past. I think of a guy who did them in the past and he's still doing things today.