This blog is focused on some of the major depressing and disturbing events of my life. Lets start when I was born My dad left me at birth so I never really knew him. When I was little I always used to ask "wheres daddy mom?". Suddenly her eyes would turn quiet with a blank expression and say he was busy or some lie like that. When I got a little older my mom told me he had left us and that he is married now. A couple years later his wife decides to send something to us just to hurt us. She sent a video of one of their sons birthday party's. As I watched that video I saw how happy they were and then I remembered how I never even got a freakin card from him and that was one of the first things that killed me inside. I always tried my hardest In school, I wanted to make my father proud I would send him my report cards which were almost straight A's. He never sent anything back not even a "good job" and when he didnt I always felt like a faliure I thought I wasnt doing something right. Fathers day came around and I didnt get him a present I made a timeline a timeline of everything I did without him and it titled "Wish you were here" and ofcourse I never got anything back. I always thought I t would be better if He abused me than ignore me because atleast I would know he acknowledges me. In middle school I always got teased because I didnt have a father when we got in arguements they would always say "atleast my dad loves me" and that filled me with rage and I would start fights and get in trouble and my near perfect grades dropped to below average. After that things only got worse my friend John was killed in a drive by because he was wearing the wrong colors he was only 17. My next friend to die killed himself because his parents were killed in an accident he was only 15. My next friend to die was the worst thing ive had to experience his name was alex, he was like the brother I always wanted to me. One day me and him were walking to the corner store when suddenly hes gunned down by his rival gang members but the worst part is he wasnt dead I had to watch him die he just layed there bleeding gasping for air and I told him its gonna be alright even when I knew he was going to die any moment. He died about 1 minute later he was only 13 he wasnt a bad kid he was just hangin out with the wrong croud. After that I had an emotional breakdown I didnt eat or play much. I had nightmares of his death for a while and I remembered that feeling of being weak because I couldnt save him I felt as if It was my fault. I started taking therapy recently and I feel a little better but after a couple of sessions I was ready to forgive my father the therapist told me to call him. I called him and told it was his son and he just hung up I called again and his wife picked up and yelled to never call again. It felt like someone stabbing me when she said that. But ive made a goal I made a goal that I would be 10 times the father my father was to me. Ill be sure to say I love you to my children ill be there for ever freaking moment of their lives and ill be sure that I will never make the same mistake that sack of garbage that I even bother to call my father made! Im still taking therapy sessions and things have been getting better but all of that is some thing only a 16 year old should ever go though. I pray that all of you wont end up like me.

Yeah, as many of you know the series gave its 4 final episodes and it couldn't have a better ending to a great series. We will surely miss the show since it was one of the last things keeping Nick on its feet. Atleast for me there are some episodes that I havent seen so I guess I have that to look foward to. Good bye old friend...

yes this will be my second time going to Vegas and I hope it will be even better this time but I doubt it Because last time I got boosted up to first class for some reason but I did not bother to ask questions but im sure it will be just as good this year!