I'm sorry, I can't top it. I did get my car stuck in a ditch though in a place w/ no cell phone reception...it really doesn't hold a candle though.

Your story definately sucks. I've done some crazy things while intoxicated, but I have never punched out a car window. I'm pretty sure the only thing that would break would be my hand. I hope your hand feels better I definately would have thrown up at the sight of "gushing blood" In fact, just the thought of it is making me sick. Where are you from?

Thanks for your sympathy and sorry if I made you sick. I'm actually from the exotic country of Ireland. I really defeat the sterotype don't I? A drunken irishman hurting himself, what will I think of next?!

p.s.(No I don't only wear green, I'm not a farmer and I will not, I repeat, NOT do a jig for you)

Ireland is fun. I beg you to reconsider doing the "jig" for me. Please..*makes sad face* I can understand the whole drunk irishman thing. Definately.

WOW, you had a sh!tty weekend. The craziest thing I did when I was drunk (and a little stoned) was play "star wars" in the park with 2 of my friends. I got to be Anakin, my other 2 friends were Obi-wan and Yoda. I kicked their asses. I even had on on my long leather coat which I pretended was my jedi robe. My favorite power to use is "force choke". I f*ck people up with that sh!t. Anyways, our battle lasted for over 1 hour and when I was done kicking their a$$ses, I put my light saber away and I got back on my ship and headed for Tatooine. Man, I wish I could really be a jedi. I'd probably go Sith later b/c I always tend to lean to the dark side, but whatever.

I really hope your somewhat of a star wars fan or else you probably have no idea what I speak of and the paragraph that I just wrote will be quite useless. Oh well.

Anyways, as Buhl9 (Brittany) was saying, could you reconsider doing the "jig"?

Thanks,

~Tricia~

No means No Ladies! "Ireland is fun"? You obviously haven't been Brittany, have you?!

Oh and Tricia(if that is your real name) a Star Wars reference? Those movies are just like a normal day here. Ye, we're light years ahead! -Mark-

Aww, well if I cant see you do the jig, I will not do ANY favors for you. Nope, none. No Ive never been to Ireland, but I'm guessing it's better than the state of Ohio. Tricia, you know how I feel about star wars, I have NEVER watched anything about them, but I definately would get in a light saber fight with you any day, and whoop your ass. Mark, I'm wondering about your name...JDizzle. It's a little wild. Why did you pick that one? LOL-

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Brit: I'd kick your ass anyday with a light saber, thats just the truth, I'm sorry, but I weild a light saber more powerful then you can ever imagine. I've already had experiece training at the jedi academy, and in 2 days I'll become a master. I'll be looking for an apprentice and I can see that the "force" is strong within you. Join me, become my apprentice and I'll teach you the ways of the Jedi and make you become a poweful Jedi master like myself and together we will conquer the galaxy. Do you accept?

Markster: yes Tricia is my real name. And speaking of names, and as Brittany mentioned, whats up with JDizzle? Do you know if you took the "D" out it would be...... "j!zzle"? That made me horny....

I am sooo going to Ireland if you guys are light years ahead of us and Star Wars is like a normal day. I will train at the Jedi Academy and become a powerful Jedi Master like Obi-wan and then conquer the galaxy!!!!!!!

Stay cool, my nizzle (I hope ur not black b/c I practically dropped the N-bomb)

~Tricia~

TRICIA! You must have been flying high as a kite when you wrote that! I was laughing so hard I think I peed my pants a little. Markey isn't black, he looks like the guy from 24. Hot irishman! Yes, I accept your offer to become your jedi apprentice.

Oh yeah, he looks like Mr. Kiefer, I forgot! Ya I was pretty high when I wrote that but I'm not now and I'll tell you, I really want to be a jedi. Anyways, I'm glad you accept my teaching, I'll have your jedi robes prepared for you by friday. Then we must search for a special crystal/gem so we can contruct your own custom made light saber. But first I must present you in front of the council and let them know I have taken you in as my apprentice. They will be pleased b/c they think you're gifted and have been persuading me to approach you for a while now. Pack your bags, we will leave for Tattoine tomorrow at sunset.

f*ck, I really live in another world don't I? Real life sucks!

Can my light saber be pink? Please? I'm glad the council will be excited that I've accepted the offer. I think they'd be a little mad if they learned that you and I had been spending every night together doing things much worse than talking about me becoming your apprentice. We'll keep that on the down low. So Mark, you keep that mouth of yours shut! I'll be ready at sunset. I'm glad you asked me, honored to be quite honest.

We'll have to find you a pink crystal in order to make your lightsaber pink. But don't worry, I know just where to go. There's a cave filled with them by the Jedi Enclave in Dantooine. We definitely can't tell the council what you and I have been doing together every night. Jedi's are trained to not have any attatchments and be willing to let go of everything. SO that means the coucil most definitely won't appreciate our relationship. I once knew a guy that almost got kicked out of the academy for loving a girl. We don't want to take that risk. After I train you to become a Jedi Master, we may join the dark side and become Sith Lords. And only then we will reveal our true relationship to the galaxy.

How the hell did you two end up here?! I mean I leave for a few seconds and you're probably already wasted, aren't you! Tell me the truth. As for my name, I picked JDizzle coz I wanted a name that combined my love of funny man Zach Braff(He maka me laugh)and to honour my many litres of "love juice" that I've wasted over the years. God rest their souls! God, If I had any shame this would be really embarassing. Oh and I'm not black, just misunderstood. Later Bizatch!!!

p.s.(speaking of wierd names(Brittany) what the hell is up with Buhl9)

I was a little high at times, but we really needed to speak of our upcoming plans Jedi plans and this was the perfect place. I like Zach Braff too, he's a cool cat and he makes me laugh. Good actor. I'm glad you're not really blk cuz I was afraid you'd bring your homies from Long Beach and Compton and shoot me for calling you "nizzle".

Well, for your information it is the letter of my first name "B" and the only three letters in my last name. Hahaha, what now?! Tricia- I'm sure we can hide our love from the council, they know that you NEVER get attached to people, so it will be cool. So once we become bad guys I can kiss your Sith Lord ass in public? Great, let's get going already!

J!zzle: Do you consider it too "feminine" to shave your butt hole?

No, not feminine just stupid. Do you know that 80% of your body heat is lost out your butt hole. Unless you can find something to fill it with......emmmm but that's another story!

how about butt plugs? That should fill it up good. Or a large throbbing beast of a penis That should be PERFECT.

No wonder Im cold all the time! Dang it!

Don't worry ladies. There's plenty of J!zzle to go around. Just think of me as your own personal heater!

p.s.(Don't you hate it when the zip on your leather gimp mask gets stuck. Hard to be taken seriously when you have to wear a paper bag with "Slavemaster" written on it.)

LMAO!!!! I love you j!zzly. BTW, how old are you anyways you jig dancing leprechan Hehehe j/k

Well, I've been told I look between 86 and 4. I'm actually 20. Turn the big 2-1 in june so start shopping now*I like money*. Gimp masks don't cum cheap you know. Thats hookers.

86 and 4 is quite a large span LOL- I'm sure that the Irish sure know how to throw a 21st bday I will be 20 in December. Quite a long ways away! And no, they dont come cheap

Hows the hand young irishman? Hope it feels better