Hi,

First, I think I've mentioned it before, but I'm now writing a book and so this is the end of my personal blogs, I will continue blogging, but what I'm living won't be as discussed in them. If we communicate by PM or MSN, you won't be seeing a difference; but my blogs will be more entertainment centered in the future.

That said this is gonna be personal.

I want to talk about what happened to me a little more than 3 weeks ago. I had a psychosis and discovered two things about me I didn't believe existed.

First, it became evident that I had split-personalities (two) and I was very lucky because they merged quite quickly (less than a week or about). I'm sorry though that the nursing staff left me near a computer at the time (I had only 20 minutes possible, you can do much damage in that little time) because I was still delusional, but didn't know it so I made inappropriate comments to people. I think I apologized enough about this, it wasn't my fault and so this is not another apology.

My second personality was male and called itself Kiel-Alaric and as he is male, he wants to be recognized as such. So I guess I'm telling you that even after the merge, I am going to change my sex and I just told you what my name will be. I would really love people here stopping the use of the name France even though technically it is still my name. I would really love the respect of being called Kiel or Phin ... Phin is fine, it always was my favorite nickname.

The second thing I didn't believe in is that you can block memories; I've been very good at doing it. I haven't apologized for all my lies, but I think a part of me (the not dominant one: Kiel) was protecting me. I lied through all my life, I think it was mythomania, but now am starting to think it was just me having been traumatized. I will not go into this here, it's not the place and I'm not sure I trust my memories yet.

This is who I am, you'll hear again about the sex change... but for now I'm not working on this. I'm working on knowing myself for the first time and if you want to know me take the decision now, if you prefer to stop tracking me, I'm fine with it too... I always thought no one on the site would believe my story, but some great people (they know who they are) have shown me I was wrong. I hope you are part of them, but if not: 'goodbye' just let me know you are untracking me so I can return the favor. I will answer question in comments if I can, if I cannot, I'll let you know.

Music to Discover: Pellep

This is near my heart because this young man and his brother (he plays the guitar) are the sons of the first person who was my roommate in my room at the hospital and she is now a friend. Great song, even if you don't understand, I'm not translating. I received the CD by the post by Pierrette (their mother) and it is worth it from the first to the last song.

Be good,

Kiel-Alaric xx

Phin xx