Alright if there's anyone here still reading this, this is Chapter 6 up for your perusal. Not too keen on the start of it, but hope you like all the same!

Oh and the song mentioned is Never Leave You Heart Alone by Butterfly Boucher

Enjoy!

What You Love is Ripped Away

Chapter 6

The nightmare was almost never ending, stopping and starting as though on a continuous loop in her mind. Whenever the nightmare stopped, if only for a few minutes, the darkness would take hold and there would be nothing. Just an empty space where the world should be. Sometimes there’d be voices in the distance, though she could never quite make out who they belonged to. She’d try to call out to them, to move or do anything, but it was as though she was stuck in some alternate reality and all she could do was relive the same nightmare over and over. And it was this that she was reliving again now, tossing and turning in her mind yet not moving a muscle in her hospital bed.

It was a dark and stormy night, as always where supernatural beings were concerned, the front gate was creaking in the wind and the rain was hammering down on the windows. All was quiet in the house, except for the soft ticking of the grandfather clock downstairs. She was stood in her nursery, standing over her cot, as though a invisible third person watching events unfold. She couldn’t move of her own free will, forced to go wherever the nightmare took her. and right now she was stood looking down at herself as a baby, sleeping soundly underneath her blanket. But she wasn’t the only one. Standing next to her was another figure, shrouded in darkness so that only a shadowy outline was visible.

She had always found it bizarre and slightly unnerving to watch herself as a baby, though she found it harder knowing that the rest of her family were asleep only metres away and that she couldn’t warn them about what was coming. She was too young to recall anything about her family and now all she had to remember them by was a few photographs and a battered old videotape. When she was younger, even after having the nightmares, she’d never quite understood what had happened. Now all she wanted as to have her family back again. But what had really killed her was knowing that she was standing next to the thing that had murdered her mother and inadvertently killed the rest of her family, and all she could do was watch in horror.

The nightmare now jumped to her parent’s bedroom, her father sound asleep and only his hair visible from under the duvet, while her mother was lying awake on her side, facing the doorway. Without a sound she pulled back the duvet and climbed out of bed, walking into the hallway, not noticing the light at the end of the landing flickering as she made her way silently down to the nursery.

Even though she knew what was going to happen and that she couldn’t stop it, every time she would cry out, scream and try and stop her mother from going. And every time she’d fail. She’d have to watch helplessly as her mother walked unknowingly to her death.

Her mother walked into her nursery, hesitating at the light switch before leaving it off and wandering over to the crib. She reached her hand down, feeling a tiny hand close around her fingers as she bent down and kissed her forehead.

What happened next was always a blur, and for that she was glad. Seeing her mother being torn apart was not something she cared to watch. One minute her mother was standing next to the crib, the next she was suspended from the ceiling, bleeding from her abdomen.

She was pinned to the ceiling, her eyes and mouth open pleadingly as the blood dripped onto the floor and in her crib. It was as though her mother was begging for her help and she was sure that sometimes, she could hear her whispering “Help me. Maddie, please help.”

This was what haunted her thoughts, even though she knew she this was all in her mind. What did disturb her though was that he could have helped her mother, and saved the rest of her family too, yet in her heart she knew he couldn’t have. But as she grew older, the guilt over her family’s death grew too much to bear so it helped her to pass this guilt onto someone else, whether they were responsible or not.

The next thing she saw was fire, everywhere. Darting out from underneath her mother’s body, consuming her and then spreading across the room, grasping hungrily at the curtains and furniture. She wanted to scream, to cry out and grab her younger self, to save her from the fire even though she knew that he’d turn up.. And as if on cue, John Winchester burst into her nursery, pausing at the scene in front of him. He glanced upwards, his eyes full of remorse and anger as she knew he was being reminded of his wife’s death. He stood as if mesmerized by the sight in front of him, before spurring himself into action and grabbing her from the crib. He paused at the doorway, glancing back into the room as if he wanted to go back for something, but the flames proved too overwhelming and he ran out into the hallway and down the stairs.

She could tell that he had been planning on going back to try and save them, but he hadn’t had the chance. The flames had spread too quickly, and going back would have meant suicide. She owed him her life and she would always love him for it, even now after he was gone. But every day she couldn’t help but wonder why not one member of her family had woken up earlier, instead of only having a moments notice before burning to death.

After John had taken her outside, the nightmare went back into the house and up the stairs. Everywhere was in flames, and all of their belongings were being torn apart. But the worst thing was the screams. It seems that her family had woken up after all, only to realise that their house was on fire and that the awful burning smell was that of their skin being melted away. And if that wasn’t enough, she had to endure watching her older brother screaming and writhing in pain as the flames consumed him alive.

It was this that made her wake up screaming and drenched in sweat nearly every night, and it was this that now led to the endless darkness. Except this time, there was no darkness, no silence. This time, she really did wake up.

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The white of the hospital room seemed harsh after the prolonged darkness, and it took her eyes a while to adjust. As with all hospital rooms, the smell of disinfectant was particularly sharp and no matter how many times she blinked, everything was still covered in a faint white glow. The room was silent except for the steady beep of her life support machine, and she hated it. Silence in hospitals had always reminded her of death, and she’d try to avoid it at all costs. In fact, she’d usually try to avoid hospitals in general. There was something eerie and depressing about them, and she always came out of them feeling drained of all hope and energy. And then of course there was the food, if it could be called that. She’d sell her soul to never have to touch the stuff again.

She tried to laugh, and nearly choked due to the tube down her throat. Telling herself that laughing was a bad idea, she glanced around the room, a small smile playing on her lips as her eyes landed on a figure slumped in a chair next to the bed. She hadn’t noticed him at first, but now she couldn’t take her eyes off him. Dean had fallen asleep with his head resting on the bed, hand reaching out to hers. He looked so peaceful sleeping there that she didn’t want to wake him, instead putting her hand in his. Though this seemed to have the opposite effect to what she had intended, as he jumped out of his seat and stood looking warily at her.

If pictures really could tell a thousand words, then the look in his eyes was enough for a feature length movie script. She could tell right away that he knew, though she couldn’t tell exactly what. All she recognized was that the look in his eyes was no longer one of love, happiness or even hope. It was a look of utter disgust and mistrust, and she knew Sam had let everything slip. Dean would never look at her like that unless Sam had said something.

All she wanted to do was to explain, to try and make things even that little bit better. She knew she’d never be able to make him understand why, but at the very least she could try though she barely understood it herself. She’d risked a brilliant relationship with him to have an affair with his brother, committing possibly the worst sin she could think of. Like Sam, she’d hoped that one night would have been enough. But it hadn’t, and instead she’d found herself falling for Sam in the same way she had Dean. Though this had been worse, as she was risking her happiness for something that could never evolve past secret trysts and covert glances. She’d tried to tell herself it was simply an infatuation, that her feelings for Sam would disappear and she could go back to Dean, with him none the wiser.

The last thing she had expected was to fall in love with Sam. But she had, and she’d fallen hard. When she was younger, she had never loved anyone and for years she had blamed this on losing her family. So falling in love with two people, let alone two brothers, had been the shock of her life, and she had been in denial over this for months. Yet now she knew this was true, and this is what made it harder. She couldn’t try and explain this to anymore, not even Sam, as no-one would really understand. They’d hate her, one way or another, and no-one would quite comprehend what she was going through. To love two people at the same time was tearing her apart inside, and she was powerless to stop it. She had tried to choose between them, but this had only made things worse when she realised that she physically couldn’t choose. She knew the sane thing to do was to stop things with Sam before Dean found out, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. And now she was going to suffer, simply for loving two people unconditionally. And to make matters worse, all of this reminded her of one of her mother’s favourite songs, one she’d heard playing in the background of their home video and one she’d tried to stay true to.

The moral to the story goes, never leave your heart in a box locked up with cold, cold ice

Never leave your heart… never leave your heart alone

And doing her part, she hadn’t been alone. At least not physically. She had both Sam and Dean, and even though that would usually comfort her, now it just made her cold and lonely. She loved them and always would, but the fact that she couldn’t be open about it, gave her the feeling of being alone in a crowded room, and it wasn’t a feeling she much cared for. The only thing she had wanted was to be happy and she’d achieved this, even if it was at a terrible price.

And now with the tube down her throat, she realised she couldn’t explain everything to him, and a single tear rolled down her cheek as she looked into his eyes.

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Dean couldn’t take his eyes off her. He’d prepared himself for what he was going to say once she was awake, but now the time had come, everything had gone blank. All he could do was stare at her, finding it difficult to keep the emotion out of his eyes as the reality of what she had done finally hit home.

He stepped forward, finally tearing his eyes away from her and pressing the button to alert the nurse. He didn’t dare to go outside, worrying that she’d disappear or fall unconscious again as soon as he left. Backing away from the bed, he stood nervously by the door, his eyes darting around the room, now unable to even look at her.

The silence in the room was broken by the entrance of a resident doctor, who threw Dean a strange look as she walked over to the bed. “It’s nice to see you’re finally awake, Miss Moriarty. You had all of us worried, including your boyfriend here.” She nodded in Dean’s direction, smiling pleasantly and apparently oblivious to the tension in the room. “Now, take a deep breath while I take this tube out.” She removed the endotracheal tube quickly, smiling satisfactorily as Maddie took a huge gasping breath. “I should really check to see if you’re alright, but I have a feeling you two have a lot of catching up to do.” With that, she took her leave and shut the door quietly behind her.

Dean appreciated her leaving, but had a feeling that it was more to do with her overhearing his and Sam’s argument  in the corridor than him and Maddie catching up. Though he was grateful all the same, as he now wanted to know the truth more than ever. Every second that passed without knowing was killing him.

He stood in silence for a few moments, avoiding her gaze and instead trying to focusing on anything else; the television, the metal blinds, even a speck of dust on the bedspread. Anything to not look at her, and be taken in by those eyes. But in the end he had to give in and he turned to face her, trying to keep his expression and voice as neutral as possible. “Well?”

She faltered for a second, and he could see she was trying to put a voice to her thoughts. “Dean, I’m so sorry… I never meant to-“

“Never meant for what? Never meant to tell me?” He tried to keep his voice level, but everything that had been building up inside of him was slowly seeping out, and he was fuming.

“I… I…” She stuttered, the anguish and upset apparent in her voice. “I would’ve told you eventually, you know that.”

“Do I really? Do you honestly want me to believe that you would’ve told me everything if Sam hadn’t let it slip?”

“Yes, I do. If you know me at all, then you’d believe that.” She shifted in the bed and pulled herself into a sitting position, grimacing in pain.

He shook his head, balling his hands into fists to try and release some of his pent up aggression. “I don’t even know who you are anymore, Maddie.”

“But you do. I’m the same person I’ve always been.”

“No you’re not! Can’t you see? The person I know, the girl I love, would never cheat on me! The same way I’d never ever cheat on you!”

The tears were running freely down her face now, even though he could see her trying hard to blink them back. “We never meant to hurt you, Dean! It was a mistake that was taken too far…”

“Do you regret it?” He asked quietly.

“What?”

“Do you regret it?”

She paused and just looked at him, and that look was enough to tell him everything. “Even after this, you don’t regret it?”

“Of course I do. I love you Dean, and I never would have done anything to hurt you on purpose. But-” She stopped, hoping he would finish the sentence off and make it easy on her, but he wouldn’t let her get out of it so easily.

“But what?”

“But I love him too.”

He stood looking at her speechlessly, his eyes sparkling as he tried to hold back the tears. “You honestly believe that?”

She nodded, keeping her eyes on him. “If I didn’t, do you really think we’d be having this conversation right now?”

“That doesn’t matter, you still cheated on me! The way I feel about you, I’ve never felt the same way about anyone else and this is how you repay me?!”

“I know that you’ll never forgive me, as he’s your brother and it’s the worst of all sins, but I never meant for this to happen. No matter what, I still love you!” She was sitting as far forward as her injuries would allow, looking pleadingly at him.

“I don’t care whether you still love me or not, it’s the principle of- wait a second, my brother? Sam?! You cheated on me with SAM?” His eyes widened and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Then suddenly all of the fury boiled up inside of him and finding no suitable punch bag, he slammed his fist into the wall beside him, feeling the plaster crumble beneath his knuckles.

“You mean you didn’t know?” She asked timidly, sitting back a little on the bed to avoid be the object of his frustration.

“No. He neglected to mention who it was, and now I know why.” He replied emotionless through gritted teeth. “Are you trying to tell me that Sam’s the father?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“You don’t even know the meaning of the word ‘honest’.” He spat, leaning his head against the wall and examining his knuckles. Then throwing her one last revolted look, he opened the door without a word.

“Where are you going?” She asked, wiping the tears away from her eyes, although she thought she already knew his answer.

He paused and turned to look at her, grinning wickedly as he backed out of the door. “To teach Sammy a lesson.”

Okay, Chapter 5 here folks. This is much longer than the other ones (over a 1000 words in fact) and it took me long enough to write the damn thing. I want to like this chapter, i really do but i just don't think i've handled it right. You'll understand after you've read it, so let me know please?

Oh and the song mentioned is Samson by Regina Spektor. If you haven't heard it, get it. Immediately. Right now. Go! Lol. Honestly it's a beautiful song, and i'd love for someone else to hear it and tell me that i'm actually right for a change

Hope you like! And sorry for the two parts!

What You Love is Ripped Away

Chapter 5

Dean was lost for words, too shocked to even say anything to Sam. Instead he collapsed on one of the seats, his head in his hands, visibly shaken. There wasn’t a lot of things that could render Dean speechless, but this was definitely one of them. He could hardly see, trying his hardest to blink back tears and stay strong in front of his brother. He knew that he didn’t have to, that Sam would think it would be perfectly fine to break down considering the situation. But he just couldn’t, he couldn’t open up like that. Especially not now, after the one of the only people he had ever opened up to had betrayed him so cruelly. He couldn’t believe that she’d betray him like this, yet deep down he knew that he still loved her and would carry on loving her, despite everything.

He just wished that Sam hadn’t been dragged into this whole sordid affair. It might have been easier to deal with had it just been between him and Maddie, but now Sam was involved, things weren’t so simple. There was no quick fix, no promises or pretending everything was alright. With Sam caught up in this, he’d be constantly breathing down their necks, trying to find out the truth about what was going on between them. No matter how much he loved his brother, Dean still hated the fact that Sam would constantly nag at him until he caved in. And this was one occasion where he really didn’t want to give in. This should have been between him and Maddie, but now Sam was involved, it seemed as though he could no longer say what he felt and act how he really wanted to. Though he did acknowledge that if Sam hadn’t said anything then he would still be in the dark, and he wasn’t really sure whether to be grateful for this. He knew that he should thank Sam for letting him know, as it was obvious that Maddie would never have told him. Yet there was still a part of him that wished Sam hadn’t confessed, and he could carry on with his life as though nothing was wrong.

It was this that he craved most of all, for his life to be fine again and for everything to turn out alright. But he should have known that this wasn’t going to be the case, as no Winchester ever stayed happy for long. Dad, Sam, and now him. He knew that the happiness was never going to last, but he just wished it could’ve ended differently. Being betrayed so heartlessly by the person you loved wasn’t the best way to end a year of near perfect bliss.

Now sitting in the hard and uncomfortable plastic chair, Dean tried his hardest to ignore Sam, who was hovering nervously over his shoulder. He couldn’t concentrate properly on anything going on around him, he was too immersed in his own thoughts and worried about how his whole world was collapsing in front of his eyes, and he was powerless to stop it. His mood wasn’t helped much by the song that was currently running through his head, one of Maddie’s favourites.

You are my sweetest downfall, I loved you first.

He could remember her singing the first line, her blue eyes looking searchingly into his. He knew it was corny, but he had still fallen for it. Now he realised he had never paid much attention to that second part, just dismissing it without a another hearing. But thinking about that now, he wondered if she had meant that part all along. Maybe he really was the one she loved first, but there was someone else too. He knew that he could just be overreacting and that looking too closely into this would be asking for trouble, but he couldn’t help it. It was killing him, thinking that she could have loved someone other than him. But that wasn’t what was hurting the most. What was really hurting him and burning a hole in his heart, was that a few days earlier he had taken a trip to a local jewellers and bought a diamond ring. A ring that was still sitting in his jacket pocket, weighing heavily on his mind, and a ring that would never see the light of day again.

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Sam knew that Dean was hurting right now and having his younger brother watching over his every move couldn’t be helping, so he squeezed Dean’s shoulder and wandered off down the corridor. In all honesty, Sam was glad for the time on his own. He loved his brother a lot, but he doubted he’d be able to cope if Dean suddenly broke down in front of him. It was something he never wanted to see and he was sure it was something Dean would never want him to see either. So this worked out best for both of them, as Dean needed some alone time, and Sam needed some time to think too.

Regardless of what his brother thought about him, Sam still cared for both him and Maddie. He’d never meant to get stuck in the middle between them, though this promise had been broken long before this latest incident. Maddie had made him promise not to say anything but he had betrayed her, as he had betrayed his brother. Dean thought he had problems, but they were nothing compared to what was going on in Sam’s mind. He was in the middle of an emotional tug of war between doing what was right, and doing what would be best for everyone. So far, he had tried to do what was right, with disastrous consequences. He knew that he should carry on doing the right thing, as his brother deserved to know everything. But the last secret would be enough to send Dean over the edge, if he hadn’t gone over it already, and Sam wasn’t sure if he wanted to be responsible for the downfall of his only living relative.

Sam wished he had never gotten involved, but like a moth to a flame he had been drawn in, and it was only now that he looked back in disgust at how he had acted. Out of all the people he could have fallen for, he had fallen for his brother’s girlfriend. Course she hadn’t been Dean’s girlfriend when he had first realised his feelings for her, and that made him feel a little better. At least no-one could tell him he only wanted what he couldn’t have, but that still didn’t change anything. At first he had tried to tell himself that it was all a ridiculous infatuation, one that would fade away over time. But it hadn’t, and it kept growing, overwhelming him and taking over his every move and invading his thoughts. He had spent every day fighting it, trying to convince himself to move on. But he never had.

Like Dean, Sam had never met anyone like Maddie before and probably never would again. He had so much in common with her, much more than his brother, which had only added fuel to the fire burning inside of him. She had been at Stanford when they had first sought her out, and his heart had skipped a beat when Dean had first given him this news.

“You know those co-ordinates Dad gave us?” Dean asked, spreading a map out in front of him on the bed.

“Yeah, have you found out where it is?” He asked, flicking through the manilla envelope again.

Dean nodded, looking over at him apprehensively. “Sam, I’ve checked this five times already but it keeps pointing to the same place… She’s at Stanford.”

He had done a double take at this, not believing what he was hearing. Out of all the places she could have been, she had to be somewhere he really couldn’t face going back to. Though even now, he had to admit that the similarities between their situations were surprisingly alike.

“Stanford?” He asked incredulously. “Dean, I can’t go back there. Not after Jessica. I gave everything up to go hunting, and now you want me to face everything I left behind? I just can’t do it.”

Of course his first reaction had been to refuse point blank to go, and even now part of him still believed that had he carried on refusing, none of this would be happening. Yet after hours of Dean nagging at him, he had finally caved in and gone with him to Stanford. Being there had been horrible, visiting the place he had once considered to be his home. He had told Dean numerous times to avoid the place where he and Jessica had lived, but that still left the rest of the campus. It didn’t help that Maddie was a law student too so to find her, they had to go back to all of his old haunts and every place they went to seemed to be taunting him, wanting him to slip back into his old life. But it would never be that easy, and he had been glad when he could concentrate on saving people’s lives instead of on his own personal demons. The week they spent in Stanford had been an enlightening one to say the least, and his thoughts now went back to the day they finally left, Maddie in tow.

Dean had been busy stocking up on M&M’s and coffee, leaving him and Maddie alone in the car. She had been lying along the backseat with her head resting against the window, appearing to be asleep.

“You miss it, don’t you?” Maddie asked, making him jump. She was peering intently at him in the rear view mirror.

“Miss what?”

“This. Stanford, law school, a normal life. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?" 

His heart skipped a beat, and he turned around, looking at her curiously. “Course I miss it… although deep down I knew that I never really belonged here.”

She nodded, and they sat in silence for a few moments as he waited for her to say something else. When she didn’t, he turned round and put his head back against the head rest. “How did you do it? Hunting yet living a normal life?”

She sighed, running her hand through her hair and tossing it back over her shoulders. “With great difficulty. I hunted over the holidays, whilst pretending to my friends that I was just a normal girl, going home to my family…but I knew that something would have to give eventually...”

“School?”

She nodded again. “Yeah. I knew that I’d never be able to stop hunting, no matter how hard I tried.”

There was a hint of sadness in her voice and Sam realised he knew exactly how she felt.

No matter how hard he had tried to fight it, he knew that hunting was what he had been born to do. Even now, after the demon had been defeated and they had avenged their mother’s and Jess’ death, they were still hunting. He had toyed with going back to law school, but in the end he couldn’t face it. He tried to tell himself that it was only because he didn’t want to leave Dean on his own but he couldn’t make his argument stand, even with himself. 

“How long have you known?” He asked, glancing at her in the rear view mirror.

“Known what?”

“That you’re different.” It was her turn to be surprised, and he relished in the shocked expression that had flickered across her face.

“Since I was thirteen. You?” Her voice was unpredictably neutral, and he could tell this was something she wasn’t used to talking about openly.

“About a year or so, give or take. You know you can talk to me right? I know how you’re feeling..” He smiled gently at her, and was glad to see his smile returned.

“When I was a kid, I used to be able to sense what kind of moods people were in. Nothing too complicated at first, but I knew when someone was in a  good or bad mood. You know how sometimes you can tell what kind of mood people are in? Well I knew. But then it started to get weird and it wasn’t just good or bad moods anymore. I could tell whether someone was bored, angry, depressed, giddy… You name it, I could sense it.” She smiled nervously, grateful to see that he was looking understandingly at her.

“Care to demonstrate?” He asked, nodding in the direction of a old man opposite them.

She grinned and leant over the front seats, her hair brushing his face and her hand resting on his shoulder as she tried to get a better look. “He’s worried, really worried. Someone he loves is ill, dying even and he doesn’t know what to do.”

“You can tell all that just by sensing what kind of mood he’s in?” He looked up at her in amazement.

She bit her lip and shook her head. “Not exactly.”

“Then how?”

“I brushed past him on my way to the bathroom before.”

“And that helps because?” He paused, scratching his head. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“I can’t just sense people’s moods anymore. Whenever I touch someone’s bare skin, I get some sort of flash I guess.” She frowned, and Sam could totally relate to the internal struggle she was going through trying to put it into words. “I can’t see the future, or read people’s thoughts but I can see someone’s past. I get flashes of things that have happened to them. Like with that guy, I saw him sitting beside a hospital bed…Silly, isn’t it?”

“No, no it isn’t.” He smiled reassuringly at her. “It makes a lot of sense. Besides you’re talking to someone who’s telekinetic and has visions remember?” He grinned at her, taking delight in her laugh as she sat back in her seat. “But surely this doesn’t happen every time you touch someone’s bare skin?”

“No, thank god. It usually happens once or twice when I touch someone’s hand, arm or whatever, then disappears. It’s worse if I touch someone’s  face, near their temples.” She tapped the side of her head, smiling softly.

The feeling he had, talking to someone else who understood what he had been through, was one he would love to experience over and over again. To be able to talk openly to someone about his abilities, and in turn, listen to someone talk about theirs, had made his year. He presumed that it was this that had attracted him to her in the first place, other than her looks and how similar they were.

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This continues below!

After this, Maddie had been able to do no wrong in his eyes. Every conversation they had only fuelled how he felt about her. Even though he knew Dean liked her, part of him thought he still had a chance. And even after she had become Dean’s girlfriend, deep down he had still believed that there was chemistry between them and that something would happen, even though the consequences would be devastating for all of them.

And they had been devastating so far, and this was before Dean had found out the whole truth. If he did, Sam didn’t even want to think about how his brother would react. He tried to rid this thought from his mind, instead his focus landing on the a night only four months ago.

Dean was off on his own hunting trip for a week, leaving Sam and Maddie dealing with their own case in the middle of nowhere. Sam knew it was because Dean thought he was much more capable than they were, but Sam secretly thought Maddie was much more capable on her own than both him and Dean put together. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud, and he wasn’t complaining about spending some time with Maddie either.

They had managed to get through the first two days resisting temptation, though Sam knew they’d only just managed to get by. In hindsight, it had been a bad idea to stay in the same room, as that had only made matters worse. He did acknowledge that when it came to it, everything had been his fault. He started it all and if he had only stayed away, maybe things would have turned out differently.

They were both lying on their beds, Maddie watching the television and Sam browsing the internet, looking for leads. Neither of them said much, each immersed in what they were doing and comfortable in each other’s company. Then Sam broke the silence with something he’d mulling over for a while now.

“Maddie, would you do something for me?”

She looked up from the television, her eyes glazed as though she’d been day dreaming. “What?”

“I want you to read my mind, or do you thing… whatever it’s called.” He grinned and tapped the side of his head as she had done all those months ago.

She frowned at him for a second, and then stood up and walked over to his bed, sitting down next to him and nodding. For this Sam was grateful. Any other person would have asked him hundreds of questions, yet she hadn’t said a word.

“Just don’t move, okay?”

He nodded and she scooted forwards on the bed, leaning forwards and placing her fingers on his temples.

That had been the strangest feeling in the world, and Sam had never felt anything like it. It was like a draining feeling, though in a good way. It felt as though there was some sort of warm current running through him and it had left him feeling sleepy. Despite doing this, he still didn’t know what she had seen, if anything and right now, he didn’t think it mattered.

Her eyes were closed, a calm expression on her face as her long, slender fingers pressed against his temples. She was so close that he could smell her perfume, and he took this opportunity to just gaze at her, his eyes wandering over the pale freckles on her nose. A horrifying thought arose as he finally realised that he was now seeing through his brother’s eyes, and he shuddered, trying to rid the thought of Dean from his mind. 

Maddie opened her eyes, surprised to catch him staring at her. She blushed and turned her face away, though he was glad to see that her hands had only slipped down his face and that there was still a small smile playing on her lips.

He reached up and touched her cheek, turning her face back towards him and was relieved when she didn’t turn away again. He gazed into her eyes, watching the light from the television reflect in the corners. He leant down towards her, his nose grazing hers and their lips almost touching. He knew that this should be the time to stop, to pull away before anyone was hurt, but he couldn’t. He had come too far now to back away. There was time for regrets later but he knew that it was either now or never.

He leant in further, his lips grazing and then pressing again hers. He felt fireworks explode somewhere in his stomach as his lips caressed hers, and he reached towards the small of her back, pulling her to him. She resisted for a second, her back stiffening at his touch before softening and letting herself be taken in. He kissed her greedily, running his fingers through her hair and feeling her body pressed up against him. One of her hands was still cupping his face, the other playing with the hair at the base of his neck as she tried to pull him even closer. He could feel the urgency and neediness in her kiss, she wanted him and he craved her more than anything. The desire and longing that had built up inside of him kicked in as he pushed her back onto the bed, the fireworks and butterflies still exploding in his stomach as she quickly undid the buttons on his shirt.

This would have been the time to stop, the time to tap out and say no. But neither of them would, Sam knew that for sure. After a year of things building up, this was all he wanted and all he could ever have dreamed of. All they could do was give in to the passion burning inside of them and hope that this would put an end to everything, and stop a doomed relationship before it could even get off it’s feet.

But it hadn’t done, in fact that night had only added fuel to an already out of control fire. He had woken up that morning expecting it to have been just a dream, and that he would be alone, and she be fast asleep in her own bed. But it hadn’t been a dream, and she was lying in his arms, with her head resting on his chest and her arm draped across his waist.

He smiled, shifting slightly as he put his around her and toyed with her hair.

“Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“You know we can never be together, don’t you?” She propped her chin up on his chest and looked longingly at him.

“Yeah, I know.” He hugged her and kissed her forehead, smiling softly.

Though some promises just couldn’t be kept, and he and Maddie had their fun that week, away from Dean’s prying eyes. And although both knew that it would, and should never happen again, it always did. Whenever Dean disappeared, even for a night, they couldn’t resist temptation. They both knew they were doing wrong, the worst sin possible, yet they had formed some kind of unspoken rule to never mention how what they were doing was wrong. If they had done, then maybe things wouldn’t have gone this far. Sam had kept telling himself to resist, to stand firm and not do anything. But every time he looked into those blue eyes, his opposition melted. What was supposed to be a one off had turned into dozens of times, the last time being just over two months ago…