Sorry for my absence people, but apparently you may have to get used to it.
RANT FOLLOWS, so SKIP if you don't care

I tried to spoiler tag, but it wouldn't let me, so here goes...I was completely blindsided on New Year's Eve by a proposal from the BF, and some of you (probably most of you actually) will think I am a totaly b!tch, because well, the title of my blog was the response I gave (minus the WTF?! part). I never thought of the BF as a cheesy guy, but I may have overlooked that because he proposed at the stroke of midnight, saying something along the lines of wanting to spend this year along with all the rest of our years together, but see I can't remember EXACTLY what he said because I had been drinking , as is the tradition on New Years Eve. The very very bad part is that he wasn't joking, and long(er) story short, he had been planning it, and his family knows. So, now I have to muster up an answer, and yes, I have still not answered him, because well I can't make up my mind. I have spent the better part of the year surrounded by his family, and I love them all dearly, but he thinks if we get married that we should live out here near them, and I have severly missed my friends and family since I came out here with him. Part of me also thinks that he only proposed because of his family drama this year (if you don't know what I am talking about, don't worry, but I don't want to bore you more than I already have rehashing the story), and another part of me is touched because, well hello, proposal. BUT the biggest part of me is p!ssed. I mean, I thought he knew me, and if he knew me and respected my feelings he would have NEVER proposed. My parents are the worst example of 'staying together for the family' and I swore that I would never do that, and I don't really believe in the 'sanctity of marriage' hoopla, I just never wanted to get married, so I am p!ssed that he is being so selfish that he wants me to do what he wants to do, no matter what my feelings are on the subject. BUT, then I think that maybe I can compromise. I mean, he's wonderful, he's always there for me, and he always gives me space when I need it, like he hasn't pressured me (too much) for an answer yet, and if I don't believe in marriage, so what? Maybe he will prove me wrong...so yeah, that is the jumble of emotions (seriously edited cause I don't want you all to hate me) I am going through right now, cause I don't wanna say no and lose him, but I don't want to say yes if I think I am gonna resent him in the future. Any suggestions? and you may ask WHY I am posting this here? Well, I have been frantically emailing one particular person here for advice, and I don't want her to start hating opening her already crowded email folder, so I figured I would rant to the masses, and maybe it would ease my nerves a little, so yeah, that's where I am. Hence the NO time for being on here, cause my mind is elsewhere.

Oh, and P.S. I Love You? Sooooooo NOT what I expected, and well, OhB knows how I feel about JDM's character (not the actor people, the character he played) becauseshe feels the same way, what can I say sweetie, great minds...

OH, and if you got through that, and heck even if you just skipped down here, I thought I should leave you with a goody; a pic of the Mayor

***SPOILER***