It's true. They do. It's the only conclusion I can reach after what's happened this month. The horrors began earlier when my 360 went RRoD on me right after I had borrowed a bunch of games from a friend for the 360.

Gaming Gods: "Hey, Hoffgod! You just beat Half Life 2. Want to play Episode 1, and then Episode 2 after that? Then, want to play Oblivion and Stranglehold? And hey, you love SHMUPS and look, Omega 5 just came out. Want to play that?"
Me: "Such a bountiful harvest! Thank you Gaming Gods, I would love to pl-"
Gaming Gods:
Me: "****!"

Then, Brawl gets delayed. The sequal to my favorite GameCube game, the game I've been playing for more than six years, gets delayed again.

Gaming Gods: "Haha! You actually thought it would come out on time? It's a Nintendo game! Of course it's going to be delayed, moron!"
Me:

Then, just today, to complete the trifecta of tragedy, the TV in my dorm room died. Right in the middle of a game of Battalion Wars 2, the entire image compresses vertically to about 1/8th what it should be.

Me: "Well, I don't have a 360 to play or Brawl to look forward to right away, but hey, I've got a bunch of great games for my Wii and PS2, and I'm going to go pick up No More Heroes this weekend. That'll be pretty sweet."
Gaming Gods: "Yeah, but what'll you play it on?"
Me: "Why, this TV of course. The one working perfect.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

So, needless to say, I'm a little ticked right now (though I am having lots of fun with this post). I'm just hoping at this point my DS and PSP don't break, catch on fire, lead a bloody robot uprising, etc.