It been a long time since I've been on this site, and as a result, I'm terrified nobody will know who I am. Should you remember who I am, you may/may not be pleased to know I'll be posting a lot more regularly for the foreseeable future. For those who have forgotten me...have a cookie.

Aren't I nice? (First impressions are essential).

Anyway, since you last saw me (well, since you last read me) I have gotten disgracefully drunk, and in my intoxicated state, I elected to write a wee story.

This has happened before, and most of you who read it enjoyed it, so here's my latest (I had to correct a lot of spelling mistakes and such, but it's otherwise been left intact):

When Billy woke up that day, he knew the cogs of fate had been set in motion. He didn't dare tell anyone, for fear of being given a slap, but Billy knew that on that day, the very foundations of the Earth would be tested to its limits.

It began as an ordinary enough day - there were no flying pigs, no exploding penguins nor any chazzbingles - yet Billy remained aware and alert.

It was when Billy arrived at school when things began to get a little funky. He sat down at his familiar desk with his classmates as the teacher addressed the class.

"Hello students," she said. "Today we have a new student."

Suddenly, the teacher exploded, and in her place was a potato, flying in mid air. "Hello friends. I am Potato," it said. The children may have screamed, but they didn't, choosing to laugh instead.

And slowly but surely, they each turned into hovering fruits themselves, until the whole classroom was shot up into the air by volcanic activity, coming to rest on the moon, where they populated it with fruit babies.

And so it was, that the moon became ruled by fruit babies.