I'm personally real big on going against government censorship, but it's my firm belief that creating and/or distributing Jason X should be a capital crime. At least in Canada, we're supposed to be protected from cruel and unusual punishment. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I'm dead serious. I bought this movie for $9.99, Threw it away afterwards, and at the end I thought about suing the video store for a refund of my time. It's really that bad.

So, perhaps you're not familiar with Jason X. But you have to have heard of the Friday the 13th series of cheesy horror movies starring Jason, a serial killer in a hockey mask. Well, this is the 10th installment {yes, that X is a roman numeral - how original}, and they seriously ran out of ideas. So, instead of finally putting the series to rest, they decided to throw Jason into **** space. That's right, the best premise they could think of was to have space-faring researchers discover and revive a frozen Jason so he could rampage aboard their ship.... How original.

It gets better though. For instance, the scene where a guy is thrown off the generic sci-fi catwalk and lands on and twists down some spiky screw-like piece of generic space machinery. The other characters' reaction? "He's screwed." There are loads of other ridiculous and painful cliches, but that isn't the worst of it. At one point the crew members actually manage to beat Jason, but they apparently didn't notice that they knocked him onto the magical sci-fi regeneration bed that ends up resurrecting him as the new and improved "Uber Jason." Seriously. They even call him that in the credits. When I saw that, I couldn't resist but laugh my ass off.

As bad as it is, though, Jason X isn't all bad. There was one mildly enjoyable scene, apparently a reference to prior Jason films. The dwindling crew tries to use a hologram to confuse and delay Jason - suddenly he finds himself in the presence of two attractive young girls camping out at a lake, trying to seduce him with pot and "premarital sex" {in those exact words}. When they crawl into their sleeping bags, you wonder if it's going to work. Then Jason proceeds to take the sleeping bags by the ends, with the girls inside, and bash them repeatedly against a tree. I had a good laugh, and that makes it the high point of the film by far.

If waterboarding and dropping the soap in a prison shower sound like a good time to you, Jason X might be right up your alley. If not, you can't say I didn't warn you.