Day one of finals is over. Did I mention it's finals week?

I managed to keep my A- in Advanced Pre-Calc, and get my grade up to an A+ in Band. Tomorrow's my toughest day: AP Physics (in which I have a B) and AP Lang/Comp (A-). For both, I'm bordering a lower grade, and I need to do well on the finals...but the thing is, they're college level courses. I don't know if I can do it.

And I don't know if I can keep expecting myself to do it. I mean, I know I should push myself to my limits, but sometimes I wonder if I can go further or if I'm just quitting. This is probably my worst semester in high school so far (it's my Junior year). I say that, but my worst grade is a B in the c|ass that most people get a B in. Should I feel bad, or just take it?

I guess everyone's got rough patches...hopefully this is mine. I say things like that to try and justify it. Things like, It's no big deal, I joined Speech this year, and I was in the play. That should be enough to get me off the hook.

But then I see people who are involved in more, doing better than I am. That sucks...then I think I'm not working hard enough. I shouldn't have to compare myself with others, but I do it anyway...maybe it's human nature. People are competitive. What better motivation is there to get ahead?

I think what it really comes down to is that I don't know what I want to be good at yet, so I feel the need to do everything perfectly. One of my friends does absolutely nothing in c|ass, but he's brilliant. He aces all of his tests, but he doesn't do any homework, so his GPA is like a 2.0. But he has it figured out; he's a debator, and he works at that...and he's amazing, one of the best in the school, probably in the country.

That's what I need...something I'm good at. I might be good at acting...and I might know about music and psychology, and none of the courses I'm taking now (except for band and AP Language) are helping me with those things. So for now, I guess I'm fine with being imperfect.

GameFreak