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Tuesday, Apr 28, 2009

A Rabbit.

Recently a perplexing question was posed to me. "Is the Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh a man or woman?"
While the gender is ambiguous in the stories of the same name, the species is certainly not. Indeed, Rabbit is called Rabbit and has the appearance of a rabbit and is a rabbit. [1]


A woman.

Yet, perhaps Rabbit is an allegory—or a metaphor, a sick and insidious introduction to the world of sexual fetish for children too young to comprehend what is really happening. Indeed it is not rare for sexual fetishes to manifest themselves in children's fiction. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was written to "to pleasure children" in the author's own words.
Lewis Carroll, another prominent children's author, has long been thought to have been a paedophile. From his photos that were as pornographic, if not more so, as Bill Henson's own disgusting 'art', to his friendships with young girls, there is much evidence to back this up. [2] [3] [4]

A man.

Yet perhaps Milne's anthropomorphic animals are even more dangerous. When one look at the animals in Winnie the Pooh one finds that most of them are based on stuffed dolls. This covers plushie fetishes. And Winnie the Pooh himself is an obese individual who clearly fits into the fat fetish, especially with his over-eating. Piglet who is often found clinging to Pooh, and clearly craves sexuality intimacy with him, and is obviously suffering from Macrophilia: a sexual fetish where the sick individual craves being dominated by a giant or giantess. [5] [6] [7]

Piglet being dominated by Pooh.

Tigger is perhaps the most anthropomorphised character, and indeed, when a furry fetishist dresses up as him, there is little difference between them and the illustrations. [8]

Note the big difference in accuracy between the Pooh furry, and the Tigger one.

Donkey is arguably the most plush-like character, and indeed, perhaps he is used to drive home the plush fetish in case any children miss it. [9]
And that leaves us with Rabbit. Arguably the most realistic of Winnie the Pooh characters, and as such, also the most disturbing. Only in countries like Sweden and Denmark is bestiality legal, yet here we find a character no promoting furry sex, but blatantly promoting bestiality! In 2005 in Sweden there was a large spike in horse-ripping incidents, a sexual fetish that involves the mutilation of horses, and one should take note of that fact that in 2005 the Winnie the Pooh books were freely available in Sweden. This clearly proves that there is an undeniable link between cases of bestiality and how widely read Winnie the Pooh is.
So is Rabbit a man or a woman? I wish I could say that it was either, but unfortunately it would appear that Rabbit is actually a rabbit. He is used as a narrative device to symbolise bestiality along with the other sickening mental illnesses expressed in the Winnie the Pooh books. [10]
So now that you know the truth behind Winnie the Pooh I implore you to please burn all of the books you find, and if you find anybody who does not want to burnt heir book, report them to social services so that they may receive the psychological help that they so desperately need. Remember, the fate of society rests in your hands. Good luck.

Category: Editorial
Posted by Foolz3h, 2:51am
26 Comments | Post a Comment

Comments

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Haha, well worth the read, totally hilarious man! Well done.
Posted Apr 28, 2009 3:09 am PT
Why are Pooh and Piglet the only ones with shirts?
Posted Apr 28, 2009 3:27 am PT
Don't forget Pooh's addiction to honey! No wonder we have so many druggos around.
Posted Apr 28, 2009 4:42 am PT
That was a great write up! I enjoyed reading it. I absolutely loved the series as a child.
Posted Apr 28, 2009 6:02 am PT
lool foolz, another series you've put me off
Posted Apr 28, 2009 8:55 am PT
Well... I have to say... the world of the Hundred Acre Woods suddenly makes sense... and lets not forget good old Christopher Robin...
Posted Apr 28, 2009 8:59 am PT
I feel the picture of the woman is hilarious, especially since she is in a kitchen Very stereotypical!
Posted Apr 28, 2009 10:20 am PT
wow... i had no idea my innocent child mind was be rapped so badly by cartoons! From now on, Im only going to watch the crap censored by 4kids for our viewing pleasure
Posted Apr 28, 2009 2:01 pm PT
Cactus_Matt:
Thank you.

Travo_basic:
To illustrate that they are both having a relationship. Think of their shirts as wedding rings.

MsCortana:
I think I did too! Can't remember them much, though.

doc18:
My work here is done!

Azure-Supernova:
Investigating him would have been too graphic for GameSpot.

aaronmullan:
That's why I chose it!

Skull-Fire:
Thank God for that! Hopefully you have not been damaged beyond repair.
Posted Apr 28, 2009 6:00 pm PT
Well that explains why donkey's tail is detachable...
Posted Apr 28, 2009 6:57 pm PT
But where does Christopher Robin fit in?
Posted Apr 28, 2009 7:19 pm PT
My wife tells me that rabbit is a guy in the books.
Posted Apr 28, 2009 8:33 pm PT
I get winnie the pooh in the saturday paper...Should I burn the paper?
Posted Apr 29, 2009 12:39 am PT
It is both and beyond.
Posted Apr 29, 2009 3:48 am PT
BlueBirdTS:
*shudders*

johnsteed7:
Between the buttocks!

grifjd3:
Tell her to get back to me when she's written an editorial about it!

paul939:
Absolutely, and you'll be doing the world a further favour considering the quality of newspapers!

kingkilla3:
And single and close by.
Posted Apr 29, 2009 8:00 pm PT
I think Rabbit might be repressed. All I can really remember was that haunted look in his eyes, and his whiskers twitching. Maybe he was coming down from something.

And donkey would be Eyore. Spelling might be wrong though
Posted Apr 29, 2009 8:44 pm PT
It makes sense now! .
Posted Apr 30, 2009 8:11 am PT
bacchus2:
It is hard to kepe track of the spelling of these sick mental illnesses.

verdugoRE4:
And if only it didn't!
Posted Apr 30, 2009 5:55 pm PT
Lmao! Needed a laugh, thanks
Posted May 1, 2009 4:33 am PT
dayzee23:
I aim to please!
Posted May 1, 2009 6:49 pm PT
LOL. I don't know if i should be disturbed by the writing itself, or the person behind the writing...

And then i say, whatever, just have a good read and call it a day!
Posted May 2, 2009 7:18 am PT
Pangster007:
Just to be safe you should be disturbed by both.
Posted May 2, 2009 7:03 pm PT
that was hilarious yet disturbing, all at the same time...YOU ARE SO AWESOME!!
Posted May 3, 2009 10:42 am PT
kellymae:
Thank you!
Posted May 3, 2009 6:39 pm PT
But why would somebody have sex with a horse when Winnie the Pooh doesnt have any horses in it? Also, what does Christopher Robin represent?
Posted May 4, 2009 11:38 am PT
Hellmonkey012:
They're not having sex with the horse, they are mutilating it! And donkeys are close enough to horses anyway. Christopher Robin was not suitable for a blog at GameSpot as I did not want to get banned.
Posted May 4, 2009 7:02 pm PT
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