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Wednesday, Nov 4, 2009

Had a brill H-ween thanks been putting in way too many hours at work, and as a result, I havent touched my joypad for a few weeks, so I'm looking forward to some free time to bash some buttons.

Me and my girlfreind dressed as deranged Nurses and threw some shapes at a neighbours house party, I discovered Quiche and Guiness don't mix well, and our janitor 'Bob' was born a women.

Later that night me and my girlfreind made passionate love for a solid ten minutes,

and the world righted itself once more!!

Jeff

The Prodigy - Omen

Category: General
Posted by FlatJeff, 8:51am
3 Comments | Post a Comment
Monday, Sep 14, 2009

As technology advances, we can sometimes overlook a few inovations that slipped under the radar, concepts that were either forgotten intentionally or overshadowed by bigger and better creations.

''The gaming glove'' is one of these idea's that has appeared on numerous occasions on various platforms. Originally a Nintendo product, it has changed appearance and colour in accordance with its designated console's.

'The Reality Quest Glove Controller' (to give it its official title) was released in 1997 for the PS1, and I've spent the last few weeks fumbling thru internet stores trying to track down this lil puppy!!

eventually Amazon UK found the fossil 'BOSH'!!! here she is..

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I was already aware of a few issues with this product, through reviews and word of mouth. The most obvious being the un-natural need to abandon the thumb, the most instinctive tool for any long time gamer.

This is pretty hard to get your head round, and trying to re-train your fingers to substitute for your mis-placed thumb is a huge task, you need a lot of time and patience to learn all over again. You quickly appreciate how much work your little 'playstation thumb' has done for you over the years.

With the velcro strapping me in, I was looking 'the t*ts... I quickly decided on the first game to bust 'The Gloves' virginity, The mildly perverted b-movie title 'Demolition Girl' I figured this could be as close as I get to cupping a 'giant virtual womens ass' with a 'cyber glove'!!!

..sadly, the sensation of cupping was a little crappy!!

However the biggest challenge was mastering the directional movements corresponding to your left and right wrist actions, on paper this sounds like a natural process but SMEG!! its pretty frickin tough sailor!!... also mildly painful after a worryingly short space of time!?

But the glove on 'the whole' does work, its flawed in many respects, but its not without purpose. Just like the giant 50 foot women, its pleasing on the eye and worth strapping on.

Maybe the world isnt ready for the glove?... however when the age of single handed gameplay does arrive, ...''I will be ready!!'' With X , Triangle, Square and Circle in my right hand!!! and a Cold Beer in the other!! F.Jeff

Jay Z & Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind

Category: Humor
Posted by FlatJeff, 6:50am
8 Comments | Post a Comment
Sunday, Sep 21, 2008

Whatever happened to the Video Game review show 'BITS'?!?! Seems there is currently no alternative to it?sux!! Emily Bouff was ace, she's chuffing hawt!!

http://www.c64audio.com/~bits/

Found a few clips, and some disjointed video of early episodes on youtube . ''sigh'' the golden days....

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Kings of Leon - Use Somebody

Category: TV
Posted by FlatJeff, 7:47am
0 Comments | Post a Comment
Some people just don't have opinions. Like FlatJeff.
FlatJeff must really love MovieTome and agree with every review we've ever written! What other reason could FlatJeff possibly have for not rating a single film?
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