On Aug 29, right before the Labor Day holiday, Republican Presidential hopeful John McCain announced Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate.
The liberal media immediately began its customary hatchet job on the attractive, capable conservative fortysomething, spading up dirt about her voting record, her personal life, her kids, and her qualifications. Here we have the first female Republican and second woman (Geraldine Ferraro being the first) named vice-Presidential nominee...the living embodiment of everything feminism have fought for for decades...and what are they doing? Surprise, surprise! The mustache brigade is griping!
Why? Dirty little secret, folks: the liberal feminist wing of the Demwit-crat Party despises marriage and motherhood. As I said in my last blog about feminism, the only women the left-wing things want to see in power are flaming Party-line ironbox socialists. The liberal feminists are going to trot out the Party playbook and do everything in their power to smear Palin for not being one of Them.
Their latest gambit has been to attack the Palin family. The slobbering looneytune hate bloggers and jourcoms who make up the modern Democratic Party have made hay with the fact that Bristol Palin, the eldest daughter, is 17 years old, pregnant and unwed. This is a thin Party ploy to appeal to the evangelical crowd--which under normal circumstances the left avoids, because, remember, they don't believe in God, but instead worship Gaia the Earth Spirit--and convince them that Palin is a woman lacking in moral fiber and an irresponsible parent, unable to keep her little girl from going out and getting knocked up. Here's the truth: the left doesn't care that Bristol Palin had sex. If she was a barely-legal brat going out on weekends, blowing anonymous twentysomething guys in frathouses and truck stop bathrooms, the mustache brigade would laud her as a beacon of female empowerment. They don't care that she is an unwed mother. What they are mad about is that she is planning to marry the father! Gasp! Imagine that! Why, if she were the aforementioned girl who slipped up and got pregnant, and then had an abortion, why, they'd put her in for a Nobel Prize!
It gets worse. The leftist rumor mill has actually put forth a supposition that the Down's syndrome child Palin had five months ago was actually Bristol's, and she secretly adopted it to cover up her daughter's shame. Okay. Forget that the math on that is completely screwed up for a moment (obviously these morons went to the sort of outcome-based education mill that teaches you 2+2=blue--which is where most of the journalists in America went, or at least the ones I knew)...but, cripes, that little conspiracy theory was ripped off a story arc on Desperate Housewives! I suppose next you'll tell me Sara Palin complained about her gay neighbors' tacky fountain and her kids burned down the pizza parlor down the street, but her husband got the blame? Hey, why don't you fartknockers plagiarize a couple of theories off Private Practice next? They could use the ratings.
Sarah Palin is a brillant choice for Repub veep. She's a smart, accomplished lady who has proven herself to have strength and integrity. Her nomination will also serve to showcase the hypocricy and utter frothing-at-the-mouth craziness of the kook fringe left-wing things that have taken over the Democratic Party. Some, even a few misguided souls right here in our tent, have publically decried it as a mistake, citing Harriet Myers, even Dan Quayle. They say Palin should smile and politely refuse the nomination and let McCain take a mulligan on this one. I would be crushed if she did that. It would be a blow not just to true feminism, but to conservatives as a whole. We Republicans cannot get sidetracked and start arguing amongst ourselves, otherwise we run the risk of becoming what the enemy has said conservatism is all along: a disturbed, hateful little anomoly of a way of thought, a temporary blip of history to be corrected with a vote for Fartknock-O-Rama in '08. We mus tstand together against our detractors. We may have Trojan Horsed in the perfect candidate: one whose nomination will anger the Party so much that it cracks in two, fighting amongst itself, degenerating into the ugly, venom-spewing mess of snakes we all pretty much know it is anyhow. We may finally see liberalism consigned to the dustbin of history within four to eight years. Sarah Palin may be that final nail in the left's coffin I have dreamed of for so long.
I apologize for taking so long between blogs, and I hope to explain better why with my next post, which should be within days. I will tell you now that, with the "The Cobra's Last Strike!" arc of Belch Dimension, finished (it start with the May issue and wrapped up this month), we're getting into the last three issues of 2008. In October, a suspicious new couple moves in next door to the Sweet clan, and with that, there go the "Neighbor Hoods!" In November we kick off the election season with a special edition of our perennial feature, "Gort's Guide to...", in which our Flungarian friend decides to run for office! And the Christmas issue features deleted scenes from the first three seasons, including an alternate ending that will leave your pants needing the services of an emergency dry cleaner.
Adios for this week.
