Character spotlight! Show: General Hospital
Character: Damian "The Jackal" Spinelli
Sub-Topic: 'Is it my turn to be the hero, yet? I can't see with this blast shield on, how do you expect me to fight?"

Oh, Spinelli. How we love you, and all your whole hearted, post teen awkwardness. Your flannel, sneakers and love lorn advances. My God, people... I have a daft example of my last post in modern times! Allow me now to delve into the world of GH through the eyes of a Jackal. For those of you who are uneducated on 'Spinellish' or 'Spinell-ese' , as I like to call it... I can at least partially translate. 'The Grasshopper' on General Hospital... is having some hard times, children.

Played by the stellar Bradford Anderson, the cyber, current equivalent of our beloved 'Joxer' via Xena is a twenty something lovable mess. Disheveled but clean brown hair, pocket protector traded for a laptop with fire power, this kid is more than the revenge of the nerds; he's more like the last Valkyrie ride of nerd kind. This kid is out for glory, justice, romance... and he has no idea how to get it, but he'll be damned if he's stopped before he hurls himself into intense mobster battles, drug wars, murder cover ups... and all for the approval of his hero and the love of someone who has been his friend forever. Here is where the daft example comes in; I spy a character simile.


It has long been a recurring theme. In movies, in comic books, in comedy shoes (see Niles on Fraiser), in pretty much every day life, as well. There is our epitome of an anti-anti-hero. They work in the background, as the underlying sexual tension, blinded by science ( see Greg Sanders on CSI, played by Eric Szmanda). They are everywhere (focusing on the male aspect here, though there are plenty of 'I'm the shy and science-girl type' girls to emote about). This is a population of repressed, under appreciated, under-used characters that are clearly the best asset to any show; empathy.


Most of us actually fall into this magical category; incredibly talented, reasonably cultured, blissful, excitable people with a pulse for entertainment, and an intense desire to connect with someone. We look at our astrological signs and match them to imaginary soul mates. We make the best, most conclusive posts we can just because it's how we roll. We check more than four sources just to make sure it's ok. We update our Facebook... updates more than once a day. And most of us... just might try to save the cheerleader. Yes, folks. This is the most wonderful category of the geek squad. Not the one that messes with your computers at Best Buy. We are members of an elite, humanatarian effort to make sure the other heroes look as good on the front line as we do on the side lines.

Getting back to my original subject (as in person-subject), with cup of coffee in hand: All you really need to know (since tackling ANY soap's chronology is as daunting as leaping a tall building, yadda, yadda) is that our dear, hapless yet tech savvy Spinelli acts as the internet jockey for Jason Morgan; Jason a.k.a. 'The Master' or 'Stone Cold' in Spinell-ese, is heir apparent to Michael "Sonny" Corinthos' blood caked, bullet lined empire. See, the seedy underworld of Port Charles is in a time of upheaval currently, unsure of which 'family' or organization is gonna take the prize. If that prize is free reign of illegal substance and drug distribution in PC, then isn't is nice to have a genius hacker on your hands? I think so.


It's basically every man for himself, Jason's burgeoning crime syndicate slash 'on the level juggernaut business with awesome lawyers' VS. the Zucara Family and their tyranical father figure come back from the dead. It's on! Damien "The Jackal" Spinelli is beyond adorable as he strives to be 'Fitter, happier. More productive'. But, alas... his story has also been a trifle sad along the way. I recently posted on 'X-Entertainment' on a post of 'The saddest TV/Movie moments of all time' (forgive the stars for quotes, I just don't wanna set off the failsafes:

**9. Another General Hospital death. But... so sad. -Georgie, the police Commish's daughter is strangled to death - mercifully off-camera - by the text message killer in the park. The town geek squad, Spinelli - a love-lorn, awkward sheik nerd computer hacker kid - is walking past the entrance to the park. It's snowy and cold out, and he looks upon the stone steps... only to see Georgie just... lying there. There's no music that I recall - you only get one shot to watch soaps, usually - She's pale, and stiff, and bears this horrible look of sadness literally frozen upon her face (yay, acting). The young Spinelli proceeds to freak out; he tries to wake her up, he shrieks for someone to help her, but there's no one. He calls 9-1-1, and starts crying, begging them to help her. But, they can't help her. Usually shy and reserved, we've never really seen Spinelli a.k.a., 'The Jackal', uber computer hacker raise his voice at all... until now. And it's in horror. I was a wreck for 2 full days. I won't even go into the body bag scenes. Oh my God. So Sad!**

It's a perfectly good post, but those poor bastards probably had no idea what I was talking about. Those scenes were basically the first ones I really saw of our fine young Hannibal ( in the brain department) - besides that hotel crisis and the Cassidine wedding murder brawl... god, I love GH. Did I say that? I've only been watching the show on and off for like... thirteen years. Yes, I am defininitely one of those people. Moving on. : )

Now, we are on the verge of greatness; Spinelli has this amazingly quirky 'third person' computer/verbal 'leet' speech dialogue. I know. Right? But it's exactly as it sounds. He refers to himself much like George from Seinfeld; "George is gettin' angry!" Well, it's like this; "The Jackal believes the young Maxi-mista is in a very perilous, most life threatening situation that only a being as dire as Stone Cold could truly grasp in its entirty!" That isn't a quote, but swear... it's the basic dialogue pattern. It's so AWESOME. The writers are bad ass, by the way. ( Bob Guza Jr. leads the charge for a group of writers numerous and incredibly talented - they even won the Emmy this year. Yay! Really biased 'Yay!' I just need to mention, first off... I'm incredibly hard on ensemble writing teams.

They need to really sync with their head writer; they must act as a unit, get down vocal patterns, dialogue niches, vocabularies unique to each character - especially if they're rather LARGE casts like in soap operas; sometimes 30 +, kid you not. They have a lot to keep track of. This isn't even mentioning things like back stories, relationship backgrounds. You know, people make fun of me when I say I draw from soap operas for writing diagrams. For hierarchies of characters, studies of characters. Well, they can make fun all day long; 'Lonesome Dove' won several Emmys, including 'Best Mini-Series' & 'Best Actor' for Robert Duvall. 'General Hospital' won an Emmy - quite a few over the years, actually - for 'Best Drama Series'. There really isn't a difference, there. So, nah. OK. Obligatory rant over.


Where I was going with that little writing tirade is: at first glance, maiden listen - when you first have your viewer-tastic presence graced by that of Damien Spinelli, the reaction may be that of your first shot of rail alcohol; shock. A heat in your ribcage that isn't necessarily bad, but may be good at some point. The writers bravely, blatantly throw 'Spinelli-speak' at you as he refers to his cherished friends and acquaintances and bosses as 'The Valkyrie' (Carly), 'Stone Cold' (Jason), 'The Goddess' (Sam), so forth and so on. You think that it will get old, but it never does. It's just endearing. So hard to pull off when you're writing.

Basically, Maxi - in case you didn't know - is the love lorn in question for The Jackal (cute little kristen storms of prior Days fame as 'Belle Black'. She is one of the secretaries of 'Crimson', the fashion company headed by ex-mobster, Sonny's fiance, Kate. Maxi's a fashion forward, cunning, lovely, ruthless, blunt, and unafraid to tell people exactly what she wants. Now. But... she has this immense, inexplicable resevoir of compassion for our Spinelli. (This is where the hope part for our anti-anti-hero comes in. ) He is head over heels for her, but scared s****less to tell her. The kicker? She's the late Georgie's sister. (the poor victim from my X-Entertainment post). Yeah. Oh, love HURTS!!!


What I desperately seek - if only as a partial ammends for Joxer's fate in Xena (though with a quick fan-fic, swear, I could fix all that) - I want Spinelli to get the gal. Believe me... he's a danger to himself and others in an action arena right now - without proper training, we'd all kill ourselves somehow in a mob movie... or... the Sopranos. Something bloody with speghetti. (I can say that since I'm Italian, lol.) On the random soap sites, the Spinelli/Maxi pair up is well over 50% at this point. There's hope. Just... above all... Bradford Anderson is so brilliant in his portrayal of a bumbling, useful idiot gone internet god... it's blatantly incredible. It's like watching Battles live in concert. The excitement, the joy is there... all the time, even in the sadness, in the rejection. It's the joy of knowing your character. I

'll leave you with this; the next time you're thinking, 'I really want to be someone, I really wanna tell someone something, I really wanna make something of myself,' then, keep this in mind. There's never a better time than now to get everything you've always wanted out of yourself. You just need to step up. Sounds easy, right? Well, sometimes, it's soooo not. : ) There are always the usual doubts:

'Do...I really want to save the cheerleader? I don't think I'm willing to put myself on the line like that. I'm comfortable where I am for the most part. Maybe I don't want to follow my gut, I'm scared out of my mind, here! And I may not get what I want, anyway. How am I supposed to fight?'

What do you think? What do you want to accomplish today? Do you want to get the girl? Or just... take a step up for yourself. Well, if nothing comes to mind, the next time someone is in your face, or you're presented with an opportunity to stick up for yourself, do it! Be eloquent, but do it.

Here. Great example. This one's about me. I've been on a crutch for a while - I've got a bum leg for a while. I was at the hospital the other day, and someone in the cafeteria told me, whilst I was hobbling forward in line, "Hurry up, gimpy, we don't have all night.' Swear to God. That's what he said. In front of EVERYBODY. And everyone was kind of looking back and forth at each other, looking at him, at me. I wasn't embarrassed, but I was definitely taken aback. I mean, wow. Wow. What a jerk bag.

Now, I'm a pretty eloquent person. I have many words in this brain. But what did I do? I glared at him - and that is a horrifying look, believe me... If you earn it, I'm pretty sure it shaves years off your life. But I didn't say anything to him. Of course, I didn't want to really start a thing in the middle of the hospital cafeteria, but... I could have said something as a good example to those other people standing around. I just have this tendency of not 'casting my pearls before swine'. As in, it's a waste of time to say something to someone when you're not gonna change them. Right?

I'm beginning to have a different opinion about that; how do you know you're not going to change them? Why do we writer blogs or reviews or stories? To make our voices known, to share. There's always a chance you'll reach someone. Or, at least make them think. There's a chance. A slight one, but it's there. Maybe it would have meant something to the others around. I could have just said, "Hey. That's unacceptable, mister," which it absolutely was. I hadn't a doubt in my mind. I knew it wasn't alright. I didn't want an apology, but I had certainty on my side. And I let it pass. I mean, I'm the one left thinking about it, but I definitely learned.

If I want people to hear me - listen to me - I just have to speak up. The rest is in their court. I may not say the best thing, the right thing. But, at least, in reflection, I can know I said something when it counted.

I"ve heard it said before that silence is the 'irrefutable argument'. Well, it certainly has its values. However, in the written world, it isn't going to get me far, if I want to be quoted.

Character spotlight!

Show: Xena: Warrior Princess
Character: Joxer. The Mighty.
Sub-Topic: The Bitterness of Being Love-Lorn.

Now, if it has ever been said that nice guys finish last, there is no more incredibly succinct example than our bungling hero, Joxer (Ted Raimi). I won't go into every last detail, as I'm sure there would be more than one of you I'd be inspiring to crack open a random bottle of scotch in lament, no matter what time of day it is. (Those of you who've seen every last episode of Xena can probably attest to what I'm referring to. Horrors. Horrors.)

This being said, I'll simply gloss my main points. Most of the fun character based, inter-personal stuff happens before season five, anyway. Now, if you're not familiar with the premise of Xena, it's pretty straightfor- ok, well, it's not that straightforward, but I'll hum a few bards; a wildly popular spin-off of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena takes place in the days of the Greek Pantheon (look it up) and tracks the travels of a former overlord turned crusader for good and her daring, scroll toting side-kick, Gabrielle. Still with me? Great.

Moving right along...

We first encounter Joxer in the season one episode, 'Callisto' (Episode Number: 22 Season Num: 1 First Aired: Monday May 13, 1996 Prod Code: 76920). While it's obvious from go, the gifted Ted Raimi - brother of Evil Dead/Spiderman director, Sam Raimi - is Hephaestus forged for comedy relief, what we wind up getting as the episodes progress is so much more. Now, it really must be said, if you're not aware, that there were a great many in-jokes within the show itself due to the rather large lesbian fan following it had/has. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I think it's awesome, and appropriate on many levels. However, the reason I bring this up is that those of us shippers of a Gabreille/Joxer pairing were at odds with the 'I really think Xena & Gabrielle need to hook up' camp. Good times were clearly had by all.

I was always of the belief, though, that Xena and Gabrielle's relationship was one of friendship. Period. Especially based upon Xena's rather extensive man-handling skills as per her track record. I also think the main mission statement of the show was one bearing the anthem of how deep their mutual friendship ran, and the fact that nothing could really dampen the purity of it.

Romance and friendship are different things, and as a writer, if I'm trying to portray one thing over another, toying with my fan base, and offering them teasers that say neither one thing or the other about a relationship preference isn't making a definitive statement. It's just having a little bit of fun. Again, this is just what I believe to be true of Xena & Gabrielle's relationship, regardless of what happens late in the series, and is in no way more of a positive or a negative. I'm simply aware of what goes on, here. OK. Rant over. Now, what in Tartarus was I-? Oh, yeah. Joxer. I'm writing a character review about the poor guy, and he still gets railroaded by the stars, lol. I feel I had to touch upon those issues, though, to get my point across. What is remarkable about most of the characters throughout the series (and, in fact in all the Raimi brothers' shows) is that they retain their essence; Joxer is for the most part inept at being a warrior, but he is inspiring in that no matter what degrees of verbal knocks he gets, he never gives up, and he never changes his desire to be what he believes he is. He always remains loyal, and comes through for his friends when they need him the most. In turn, he earns their loyalty, as well.

He admires Gabrielle from afar, never really having the courage to tell her how he really feel about her until later, where he's subsequently shot down like Icarus. Still, the formidable blow to his ego does little to deter him. He will always love the bard, and she will always think of him as one of her best friends. In character dynamics, the friend/love interest debacle has ever been one of interest to me, and is in fact one of the most fun subject matters to put forth on paper. Formula a+b=c. (Variation: a+b=c+d)

A - Poor, love lorn sap.
B - Object of poor, love lorn sap's affection.
C - Angst. Lots and lots of angst.

You can also throw in the wrench of D - the other obligatory love interest of B, either someone who doesn't know they're alive, or - just as tragically for A, someone who whole-heartily returns the affection. In all events, chaos ensues, and as a writer, you have a lot of fun on your hands. If you've watched as many soap operas as my show list suggests, then you know the lengths to which a good soap opera writer will go to in driving their fans nuts. I would use daft examples, but there are far too many to draw from, and I'm not prepared to start spouting off at the mouth about that until a later, more dedicated article. Maybe something titled: 'Get your hands off of my woman, that's my sister from another step father.'

In any one given episode featuring Joxer, we are treated to a heartfelt warrior wanna-be who's just too hellbent on helping right wrong to worry about how he looks to others. Even when those others pummel him, make fun, and stab him. Literally. He ceaselessly hopes for Gabrielle's affection, for Xena's approval as a swordsman. What he always fails to notice, however, is that the two heroines not only accept him as a person, they are protective of him, and in the worst of times count on him for aid. If there's ever a secret weapon, you know - it's the unexpected light in the darkness; the weak link that proves to be the strongest after all. Character drama can be systematic in many ways; as a writer, it's up to you to dedicate yourself to the point of view of whoever you're writing for. Most of us have been in dark places. We've been frustrated and loved from afar. We've been forgotten, and cast aside for someone who seems to be the better resource, even when we know we can provide. It is the essence of our emotions that act as a metaphorical guideline, a potent vocabulary of woes; these pained assets make us the most attuned writers, and the most gifted.

My biggest gripe is that I feel I was greatly cheated in the depth of Joxer's 'Mighty'; I would have loved to see him actually progress as a swordsman and a serious battle asset - very much like characters in the 'Buffy'/'Angel' universe were able to progress past their incompetency issues via youth, demons... The prom. That never really happens, though. And, the pathetic resolve of Joxer's storyline at the end of the series is just appalling to me. I'm not even going to get into it; I can't even really treat it as canon, the writing was so atrocious, on both over-all and episodic levels. Ick. (Keep in mind, that I stop the series in my head at the episode, 'Animal Attraction' (Episode Number: 94 Season Num: 5 First Aired: Monday October 18, 1999 Prod Code: V0905). Chris Manheim writes a lot of good episodes in the twilight of the series, but the whole gyro goes straight to Hades after this episode, I find. If I ever, ever did a fan fiction of the show - it would take place from right 'X'. It's not something I think I'll ever feel up to, though.

I'll be up nights with my pretzels and my coffee grind chocolate things (technical term) and thinking, 'Boy, if I ever take a stab at anything in the Xena-verse, I am so gonna fix that problem'. I very well could, I'm a fan-fiction junkie. However - digressing. It's a dangerous thing keeping a log of all the character traits and back stories of the shows you watch - you could unload stories at any time! ; P

I can't really say enough about Ted Raimi's performance the entire journey through; he is ever charming, and absolutely lovable, whether saving the day, or getting everybody killed (thank you, 'Been there, done that' - favorite episode ever). It's always more fun to be ended among friends.

Sadly, I find as much as I'm drawn to the side character, the little guys in the shadows go mostly unnoticed; they are always there, though - droves and droves of them. They talk our main characters out of a bind, into a plot resolve, tell them they look great, tell them they're doing the right thing. They walk side by side with us - the humble viewer - as we hope for the best, deal with the worst. In Joxer's case, they do what supporting characters do best; they support, of course. In my own travels to be a better writer, a more well-rounded representative of the fictional, I remember my side guys, my team of workers behind the scenes that tell my main characters what's what when they don't have time to do it all themselves, when they need a shoulder to whack, or two shoulders to stand on top of.

Here's to the side character. Gold star for you, Joxer. Among warriors who are brave, brash and well-versed with a sword, you have at least one of these traits under your belt. And you have been taken advantage of by many, many parties. Thankfully, the evils of man can be undone. That of the gods? Well, most of the time we can get around the really bad stuff. Like... when your son from the future (D) ends up with... (B - see above chart)?

Sigh. I call mulligan on that. (Pauses. Sighs once more, dramatically.) Look it up. I guarantee... it isn't the restaurant with all the fake Irish flair.

So,

Howdy Doo-Dee, folks.

I've decided that I'm going to attempt watching television with a little more productivity. I love to zone out as much as the next man, sure. But, that is no longer something I want to apply to t.v.. Not even for Bravo. Unless it's for commercials, of course. Or Jo & Slade's new horrific dating show.

For ages, I've used movies and beloved television shows such as Homicide:Life on the Street and, well... Xena:Warrior Princess... even shows like The People's Court as character drawing resources. Not personal character, really - not always - but actual character. Characters. I'm a writer. I make characters better, that's my purpose in life besides music. It's something that's almost as much fun as throwing Bic Mac's at your ex's car. Um... or, rolling all the windows up in your car and singing Motown at the top of your lungs. Yeah.

I observe other people's characters, and it's one of my favorite things to do. I like to self analyze, and figure out what makes me attached to them - down to worrying about them spilling coffee on themselves. I pay attention to what I'm drawn to personally, what I think is compelling, and I just slingshot it into whatever I'm doing. It's fun to keep all your favorite characters' traits on standby for reference. But, I guess that's why I started this blog.

Usually, I'm a writer - of blogger blogs, of potential sci-fi/fantasy books. Grocery lists. For a while, I'd also like to single out the shows I watch, and write my points of view on stuff that goes on within them. I used to do that in rag tag steno books when I was a kid. Now, I have the power of the interwebs. Mwa-ha!



So, I'm gonna do it like this.

1. I'll watch the shows I watch. (Tough work, sometimes)

2. I'll blog about them, either daily or weekly. Not sure, yet. I like to be unpredictable.

3. I'll watch my old box sets of stuff, and write about that, too. Whenever I do. Sounds like a blast.

I'm on medical leave from work right now, so... I have a little bit of spare time.

4. I'll try to point out what character traits and relationships stand out to me.



Simple, right? Well, we'll see. I'm calling this thread The Electron Gun after the tube in a television that filters and splits the Electron rays into all the neat colors we see on the tv screen. You know, like 'here's a character, let's see what they're made of'. I like this idea. I don't know how to link, yet - or, if you can - but, for now I'll rub my hands together eagerly, like a mad scientist, and have at it. I think this is gonna be fun.

S.A.