I finally, in a haze of sleeping pills and sugar rushing, understood my battle. The battle between me and my mind. The good and the bad.

Listening to Little Wonders and reflecting upon my life, and loosing family members, family pets and friends throughout my life finally makes sense to me.

I lost my dog around three months ago now, and I usually cry myself to sleep at night because I miss him, miss being able to hug him, etc etc. But today, the tears streaming down my face isn't of sadness, but of joy. I figured my own personal puzzle, my way out of my misery.

As the song goes, the hardest part is over. Yes, atleast the first step towards beating that hard part has been taken. Now I just have to do the battle, but not alone, no. I have friends who like me for who I am, not for who I ain't. I have family that loves me, even if they suck at showing it at times. I have internet friends who have been through their own personal hell, and lived to tell the tale. They all believe in me, and I believe in them. I'm about to start on a four week course/day school-thingie at the psychiatric hospital's childrens department, so maybe finally I'll get some more answers and more help to break out of this.

I better end this half-sleeping rant/infomercial before I actually fall asleep, or something like that.

This is Deih, with a big smile on her face, after so many months with nothing but a frown or an indifferent attitude.

I'm so grateful for what I get, even if the help is at the wrong time, and all of this could have been prevented if someone had figured I had ADD back in kindergarten. Oh well, that's that, and this is now.

Remember to smile

Signing out, with a BIG smile. Deih