Hey everyone, I hope things are going well with all of you. From the title of this blog, I'm guessing that many of you aren't expecting this blog to be the happiest one. Well truth be told, it's been rather hard for me to look at some things in a positive light in account of some events that have taken place recently, and honestly not too much has happened to make it a lot better. Really, this just hasn't been the greatest summer that I was hoping for, and parts of me is just waiting for it to end. Any reasons why?
1. The Boyfriend: Or should I Say Ex?
Okay well obviously, this has been the biggest factor to influence me not being in exactly the greatest mood recently. My boyfriend, Tom, broke up with me a little over a week ago. Hurtfully enough, we split exactly one week before our one year anniversary, when I had a date and other exciting things planned for him and everything. There have been a couple of things that influenced his decision to break it off with me. Honestly, I'm still rather confused about some of it and I think that while he justified his reasoning for wanting to break up, I think that he should have had the stronger will to hold on tighter. There were just some trust issues that were bothering him -- particularly, how my best friend is gay and he isn't exactly comfortable with him hanging out me. 
Well, both of them don't like each other but I shouldn't be forced to choose between my boyfriend and my best friend. I think that Tom's trust for me should've been enough to keep the relationship together. Though honestly, I don't know where things will go from here. I saw Tom a couple of days after we broke up, and of course, it was what I expected it to be: the feelings are still there, we still shared the emotional connection that we always have, and truth be told, it pretty much felt like we were still together. I've never been together with someone as long as I have with him and I've never cared for anyone as much as I've cared for him. It's just been a rather hard situation, but I know that everything happens for a reason so I hope things get better in regards to our relationship.
2. Lack of employment, money, etc ...
Well of course, not working throughout the summer hasn't exactly been the best thing either. My family is in the middle of filing for bankruptcy at the moment, (due to some hardships that my family has went through the last money that have put my dad out of work) and not having a job to help my family with the finances isn't something that lifts my spirits. It's something that I really wish I was able to do, but I'm not. I did have an interview a couple of days ago at K-Mart, but unfortunately I wasn't what they were looking for since they decided they would've preferred an employee who would've been able to work full time during the school year. School starts for me on August 24th, so I really hope I will be able to find a job before then so I can get settle and start saving and paying for important things: My car/insurance/gas, school (which will cost a lot more this year), savings for college, a new laptop, and whatever I may need to spend money on for entertainment, including games. So it's just been rather rough lately. I haven't been able to do much that has been occupying my time except for reading, exercising, and trying to hang out with some friends when they are available. When I'm not busy however, I just find myself bored and not exactly in the best moods so it's not much to make me feel better either.
All in all, that's just a summary of what's been occuring lately and what has influenced my mood. It's somewhat unfortunate too, because I know there are SO many people throughout the world who are in worse situations than I am, but I'm still a little damp about it all. Well, I did manage to land an interview next Monday with a coffee shop here in Utah, called Beans and Brew, so I really hope that works out. I love coffee too, so that's definitely a plus. 
I'm going to try and spend more time with friends, and start studying and preparing for my senior year. I hope everyone is well and that I don't sound like I'm ranting or complaining much ... 
