Please keep up the prayers for me, sleeping is becoming more of an exercise in futility the past few days.

In other news, my cousin had a baby, which unfortunately is a less than joyous occasion. He is 19, the mother is 16. Icing on the cake is that the baby has down syndrome, 2 holes in his heart, was 2 months premature, and was born with his intestines outside his abdomen.

He and the mother are having collective mental breakdowns right now, needless to say.

I thought to myself, what are you supposed to say in a situation like this? Congradulations you got a 16 year old girl pregnant on purpose? (this was a planned pregnancy, I'm sorry to say) I'm more inclined to say he should be ashamed of himself. Only reason that he isn't being prosecuted for statutory rape is because the girl's parents aparently dont care about it one way or the other.

What a mess. I feel like i'm walking through a fog, the right words just out of my grasp. Adding on top of this, well, a friend and I got into a long conversation about life, and it raised a big question mark over who I am, or at least how I percieve myself. I dont want to go into it honestly, but I feel like I have a flashing neon light over my head letting the whole world know how confused I'm feeling.

Argh. When it rains it pours. None of this would seem so bad if I would have gotten a decent night sleep in the past 2 weeks. Last night I got just over 3 hours of sleep. Rest of the night was spent tossing and turning in bed, praying for a restorative sleep that never came. Keep me and my family in your prayers people. About to try this sleeping game...again. If it keeps up much longer I'm going to have to go to a doctor or something, which is going to be a pain since I dont have medical insurance. Such is life....