So I now need to buy a new ps3. I am kind of upset because I don't want to spend more money on another system but I guess thats what happpens. I am planning on getting it soon especially considering the release of God of War collection on Nov 16. I will probably wait afew days after the 17. I am expecting a check around the 24th of Nov so I might just get it then.

Okay so I am writting this blog to vent if you will. I am alittle confused, upset, sad, angry, basically every emotion other then happy right now. Me and my boyfriend of about 4 years have justbroken up. I normally don't use this site to vent or blog or talk about my personal life but I really like this site and I feel it helps to talk about things like this. SO me and my now ex-boyfriend Daniel were going out for a year then I broke up with him,2 weekslater we got back together and 1 year later he broke up with me, we got back together and broke up 3 days later. We stayed apart for 3 months (not really apart I would text him every now and then). Then we met one day felt still in love and got back together. Now 1 year and afew months later we are here again. He is a active, out going person that likes hanging out with friends anddrinking and going to clubs and dancing (not to anover the toppoint). I am a 21 year old 40 yr old man, meaning I like staying in and watching TV, playing video gamesand hanging with my mom and 2 dogsthen I go to sleep and go to work. I have2 friends.However I am happy with myself. I don't think I should have to change anything about myself. Its just when you meet that one person that you think your going to spend the rest of your life with its hard to say good bye. On top of that I am the kind of person that if its over, its over and I try my hardest to finish up everything and go seperate ways completely. I am still in shock honestly about the whole thing. Everything started, in my mind, lastweekend. I was having a strange weekend, i'm not doing so well in my class, I wasreturning to my oldjob on Monday, plus I was feeling alittle depressed so I wanted to beby myself so I pushedDanielaway.Next thing I know come Wensday we break up because he feel neglected andas ifI am holding him back.I can not tell you how much it hurts to hear the manthatyou love tell you you are a hinderance in his life. That you negatively effect his overall happiness.As for thebreak up when it was happening I was so angry that I wanted to run out of thecar and sream, 1. because I could not believe this was happening again!!!!!, and 2. because I was so blindfully stupid to this impending break up. I honestly thought we were both happy and nothing would happen between us, EVER. I though after what happened last time and the hurt we both experienced being alone that that would be the last time. Honestly I don't know what is going to happen I love that man more then anything and I feel sad right now and as if my life is kind of empty now.Ijust hope things can be resolved one way or another. I would love to stay friends if we stay broken up but I don't think that is what he wants. I know it would be hard for me to hear him going out on dates or just hanging out with his family cause I would be sad I wasn't there with him.

These are some happy pics of us together. I figured someone should see them. I am Chris the Whiter of the two, Daniel is the more tanner one. Together 01/06-11-09

Thanks for reading and I appreciateall comments.

Okay so I just got a new job. Well sort of new job. 6 months ago I was let go from this company that I actually kind of liked working for. I thought I was one of the best employees and I never felt I was going to be let go. Then I requested a raise and got into an argument with the jerk supervisor and he let me go. I figured I should just forget that chapter of my life and move on. Boy was that impossible, I never got a job even though I applied at almost everywhere I could imagine. I looked ad looked and nothing happened application after application. Then today I got a call frm a girl I used to work with, one of the managers that I actually liked. She was calling to offer me a job with the company again. She said that they need people and I was 1st on her hire back list. Apparently this supervisor got in fights with other people and let them go as well. Well I was on the fence at first and had to ask my mom and boyfriend for their opinions and they said take it. So I called her back and said "I'm hired". Naturally I am still abit shocked and on top of that I am kind of relived and sad. Is this going to be the only job I ever work. Am I going to be a college graduate stuck in a check cashing job getting paid slightly above minimum wage. I conveyed all this to her and she said, "Oh by the way your getting your raise and we will look at your performance again in 6 months for another raise, which I know you will get." I mean I am eleated right now. Still it is a "new" job so I am kind of nervous getting back out there.