...please, for the love of God, do not see Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, it's probably one of the worst films I've ever seen - right up there with Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (what the hell is that name about, by the way?)...but at least the action in that film was good!

I'll try my best not to include spoilers but I probably will at some point. But who cares anyway because this film is so boringly predictable you'll know the plot after the first ten minutes.

The Good:

They've kept Harrison Ford as Indy Jones and he's pretty much the only good actor, or actress, in the entire film.

The direction is good enough but, wait a second, isn't this supposed to be directed by Steven Spielberg? It certainly doesn't show.

The credits! (JOKEZ! LOL jACk CaRTWRiGHt)

The Bad:

The special effects were terrible, I could've done better on Microsoft Paint.

The acting was terrible apart from Harrison Ford and a passable performance by that little kid (who apparantly is like 19...who knew?) who was in that other terrible film, Transformers.

The plot was dull and predictable and to top it all off is all about ALIENS. Yes you read correctly, aliens. Aliens that make the film look like a trailer for ALIENS vs Indy Jones.

Super-clever ants that make a tower out of their own bodies.

Woman who knows there's a tree over the edge of the cliff.

Idiots who can't work out the riddle, "three times it falls" when they're on the Amazon River.

Multipurpose Crystal Skull that looks like something you'd buy in one of those creepy gothic decorations shops (there's one in the Trafford Centre...it's a weird shop; they sell goblets shaped like dragons).

Anything and everything else that's good in any other film that hasn't already been listed above.

I'm sorry about the terrible, bullet-pointed review but I got up early because I misread my clock and my mind isn't quite working yet.

Basically though, a terrible film...well, to be more correct it was a bad film until the ending which turned it into a terrible film.

4/10

PS. Incase you were wondering why I woke up early, it was because I was having a scary dream about getting eaten by ants...but then for some reason I ended up in a talent show at school singing Harry Connick Jr.'s Recipe for Love...yeah actually, that bit of the dream wasn't so bad!