Can you smell it? No? Come a little closer. Now? That's right! Tis the smell of a fresh, brand spankin' new blog! The old one was starting to reek. Almost, but not quite as bad as the new TV.com design. There, I've made my feelings known and that's all I'm going to say about it.

So let's see...what's new with me? I need bullets *rummages through Microsoft Word 2007 's unfamiliar layout* ahhh, there they are!

Well, first, let me stir the unpleasant stink of the old blog only to let you know that, fueled by Mrs. Sparkle's outrage at the inefficiency of our public health care system here in Québec (see last blog's comments), I decided to go "private" and hired myself a doctor! It only took a thirty seconds phone call for my new (if somewhat expensive) doctor to get the results of the CT scan I took over two months ago (and with the results of which the "public" doctor who had me take the test in the first place still hasn't called! ) They were negative, in case you're interested (the results as well as the whole experience). So with this test, we have eliminated brain tumors, blood clots and aneurysms. But apparently, I'm not out of the woods yet as this new (if somewhat expensive) doctor wants to eliminate all the "biggies" (her word, not mine) before she blames my symptoms on stress alone. She hooked me up with a neurologist and is having me go through another series of tests: MRI, EEG and a complete blood work. I feel I'm now in good (if somewhat expensive) hands!

Fall is upon us and the temperature is starting to drop, urging little creatures to look for a warm, cozy place to spend the winter months. Seems like flies have elected my bathroom "Winter Destination of the Year"! Every day when I go in for my morning shower, I am greeted by four or five of them. And these are not your regular flies, these are on steroids! These are huge, BIG ASS flies!! I've thought about turning my bathtub into a pond and getting huge, BIG ASS frogs to get rid of the flies. But then how do you get rid of frogs on steroids?
So instead, I catch them (the flies, not the frogs - they're groggy from the cold which makes it easier to sneak up on them ). I tell them the resort has this new water slide that they just MUST try and I flush them down the toilet.
The other night, one of them (a fly, not a frog) ventured out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. It must have heard the monkey sounds coming from my bed (I've kept IB around for fun! Again refer to last blog for IB info) and thought this was a safari of some sorts. It was buzzing excitedly and bumping into walls: BZZZZZZZ, TOCK, BZZZZZZZZZZZZ, TOCK, TOCK, BZZZZZ, BZZZZZZZZ, TOCK. Every time I got up and turned the light on, it would stop buzzing and hide. Every time I turned the light off and climbed back into bed, it would start buzzing and tocking again. Drove me absolutely bananas (hence the monkey sounds ). After an hour of this hide and seek game, I swear I could hear the sarcasm in its buzzing! I never caught the little bastard but I would recognize that sarcastic buzzing anywhere...I'm putting together The Ultimate Adventure package for this little fellow. He will not believe his eyes, all seven hundred and sixty of them!

In other news, my best friend is going through a breakup. So lately, I've been in full "best friend" mode and I've been doing a lot of nodding and agreeing and head shaking. She's been going through the typical stages of grief:

"How could he not be missing me right now? Why doesn't he call?" (Denial - head shake)
"He's an @sshole (Anger - agree)
"It's all my fault" (Guilt - head shake)
"I need a drink" (Depression - nod and join her)
"I'm better off without him!" (Acceptance - agree)
"You're such a good friend. You're so easy to talk to. I'm done with men, I think I'll try women instead" (Batting for the other team?!? Where did that one come from?? - Back off very slowly and move towards the door )

What else is going on? Oh, yes! I bought my very first laptop two weeks ago! My computer was old and rickety and it was getting to the point where I had to turn it on about an hour before I planned on using it because that's how long it took to get off its lazy butt, shake off the dust, walk around with its cane, gathering up all my files and folders and get them all nice and ready. I'm not even going to get into the exhausting negotiating I had to do to get it to play a song, or worse, a video!
So out with the old and in with the new. Well, I didn't really throw the old computer out yet. It's enjoying its retirement in my bedroom, where I can hear him plotting with the friggin' fly at night. I think they're devising a plan to help the little bugger escape.
So I've been feeling very Carrie Bradshaw-ish this morning, sitting comfortably in my favorite armchair, near the window, with my coffee mug and my ideas for this blog. And I couldn't help but wonder: Do all laptop users feel this way?

So that's about it for the update folks! I will now try to post this blog on TV.com. It's my first one since the re-design. I've heard all sorts of horror stories but I chose to ignore them all and be positive! *clicks heels three times and says: This blog will go up without a glitch*

Well what do you know, it worked!! It doesn't look exactly like I had planned, but it'll do for now. *wanders off humming: We're off to see the Wizard...*