Alright kid's it's time for the first of what will be many lesson's about...well...anything, so turn that f&%$ing PS2 off and listen.

Today's lesson is about fire and what you shouldn't try with it (believe me). All the tips I provide come either from personal experience or other people's personal experience.

#1: Gasoline is not an accepetable substitute for lighter fluid when trying to light a charcoal barbeque. (My rowing coach tried this at our boathouse with very...explosive results.)

#2: Never throw more gasoline on a charcoal barbeque while it's still going. (We almost destroyed the BBQ trying this, it was my idea.)

#3: Muffins burn well, really well.

#4: Never try and pop one of those stovetop popcorn things over a bonfire.

#5: Golftees soaked in WD40 will not catch on fire.

#6: Supersoakers can be turned into flamethrowers.

#7: Never try and test a homemade flamethrower in a park in the summer. ( Thank god this wasn't my idea)

#8: Wrappers from mini Sweettarts packages burn easily.

#9: Extra long matches can burn as fast as regular ones.

Well that's all for now, next week, Explosives.